Dear Sambuca,
You should have a contract by now for your NYE bash with our favorite band to see at you. Get on it already! We want good food, drinks, and music on NYE where we can actually dress up and not have drunks falling all over us. You may be our first choice, but not for much longer. We are willing to drop whatever amount you want to hang with our friends in low places on NYE. We already have plans for GF pnacakes, hockey, and junk food the next day.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who Wants NYE There!
Dear Family,
You are making me crazy! I'm OK not coming home for the holidays. I REALLY want to spend Thanksgiving night shopping for gifts to ship and meeting DH the next morning for drinks. It's what we find fun. I can't eat most of what you make and hate having to explain it over and over makes me crazy. There are never even snacks for me until I go grocery shopping and drop a fortune. You do the same thing at Christmas. Please stop trying to arrange rides for me home. I don't want to be stuck there without a car.
Thanks,
Your Hungry Frusterated Duaghter
Dear Concert Next Week,
Please be as awesome as we hope you will be! I went to great lengths to get these tickets. I want to hear your VERY early songs, not the stuff I hear over and over on the radio. You are at a venue that holds less than 2k people and last time I saw you the venue held 17k+. These will be your real fans, not the ones you picked up off the last 2 albums.
XOXO,
The Girl Who Wants to Rock Out to Your Early Stuff and Is Hoping to See the Fur Coat Up Close Again
Re: Open Letter Thursday!
One more:
Dear Mom,
Don't buy what was in the e-mail you just forwarded to me. We bought it for you last night and it's non-returnable. Oh, and don't buy it for your little sister either.
Thanks,
The One Thats Surprises You are Spoiling
Dear end of the semester,
DH and I can both see you at the end of the tunnel, although his victory'll be sweeter than mine (graduation). Please hurry your @ss up and get here faster. I have a present I'd like to give him, and it's killing me that I have to wait another month.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Impatient
Dear coworker,
Thank you for your "guidance" and opinion, but as I am standing in front of you and was obviously not born of your loins, you'll see I already have a mother. Just because you have a PhD, doesn't make you smarter than the rest of us. Please stuff it.
Sincerely,
The woman you work with who despises you