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Ideas for in-law gifts

So I currently live with my DH in Belgium which is where he is from and where his parents are. His parents are very judgmental and drive me insane. I want to get them a Christmas gift that won't make them look at me like I am crazy or look cheap while being cheap. Most gifts I suggest my DH shoots down. The thing is because we are in Belgium I need gifts for two holidays. Firstly St. Nicholas Day is at the beginning of December. I want to get them something small because they don't do big gifts on this day, but something nice. I am stumped. The things I would normally buy people are not good enough for them; they are very "posh" people and I am just a middle class girl from California and I always feel like they look down on me. Buying something for the both of them is annoying. A couple years ago I handmade blankets for them and apparently that wasn't good enough.

I think I have Christmas down. I am buying my MIL a purse from Nine West. My FIL likes to sit and play solitaire with  actual playing cards. According to my DH my FIL has a box full of old playing cards and doesn't need anymore. I thought it would be more of a recognition that he likes playing cards by getting him a deck from Tiffanys. They aren't that expensive at all, it is just the WOW of the fact they are from Tiffanys and they don't have to know that I didn't spend much on them. I am in the middle of deciding if this is a good idea or not. 

Any good ideas? 

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"Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"
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Re: Ideas for in-law gifts

  • How about lettting your DH deal with his parent's Christmas Presents? 
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  • imageIlumine:
    How about lettting your DH deal with his parent's Christmas Presents? 

    I know for sure he had their St. Nick gift and his dad's Christmas gift, which was actually my idea. I think I am pretty set in Christmas it is just St. Nick where I am stumped. I had a great idea, but due to carrier restrictions it won't ship to my APO. :( It was back to the drawing board after that.  

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    "Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"
    Janae & Olivier


    Anniversary
  • I don't get why your getting them gifts for St. Nick's. I was always under the impression that like in the U.S it was holiday celebrated for the children.
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  • imageallibally:
    I don't get why your getting them gifts for St. Nick's. I was always under the impression that like in the U.S it was holiday celebrated for the children.

    His family celebrates it. I have learned a little bit about the holiday and this is my first time actually celebrating so I don't know too much. I just know they get one another small gifts. 

    Photobucket
    "Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"
    Janae & Olivier


    Anniversary
  • imageallibally:
    I don't get why your getting them gifts for St. Nick's. I was always under the impression that like in the U.S it was holiday celebrated for the children.

    It's celebrated more in Europe than in the US.  And often, includes adults...at least in our families.  In the US many folks don't even know about it.  Just been my experience though.

    Maybe you could get them some fancy chocolates from some posh chocolate places in Belgium?  They insist they're better than the Swiss for chocolate (we lived in Switzerland for a few years LOL).

    imageIlumine:
    How about lettting your DH deal with his parent's Christmas Presents? 
     

    I don't know about you guys, but I often buy all gifts for our families.  Is it often expected of the wife to take care of this?  Sure.  Is that 'fair'?  Well...life isn't fair!  LOL!  I don't mind it though.  I often know more of what someone would want over DH, but I do ask him for advice.  It's just how we roll.

    I think the playing cards are a nice idea.  What about your MIL?  Does she have any hobbies?

     

  • Definitely a food gift -- you can get something very luxe without spending too much. If it were me, I would order Christine Ferber Raspberry Violet jam from Pierre Herme in Paris:

    http://www.pierreherme.com/confiture-de-framboises-a-la-violette.html


    This exquisite, foodie-worshipped jam is only 10 Euros! Pack it with a vintage silver spoon picked up from a flea market, something like this $5 find on ebay:

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Swedish-DEMITASSE-SPOON-Floral-NILS-JOHAN-NI-CR-SWEDEN-Adorable-Vintage-Spoon-/180753981191?pt=Antiques_Silver&hash=item2a15c6df07

    Polish the spoon carefully, pack it beautifully, and they will think you are the best daughter-in-law ever.

  • Oh, and when you say they are "posh" people, do you mean they have a taste for expensive/fine things? If so, very high-quality foods, papers, soaps make good gifts and can be had inexpensively. These kind of people also tend to appreciate antique silver, which you can score cheaply at and polish up yourself, or cultural gifts like thoughtfully chosen opera/classical music recordings. 

    If by posh you mean ostentatious, then probably anything with a logo will do.

     One last thing you might consider is playing up your California angle -- how about a nice bottle of wine from Napa/Sonoma and a Beach Boys CD?

     

    Edited to add: I didn't know I had so much to say on this topic! Anyway, I am so sorry that your handmade blanket didn't go over well -- I am a knitter and once had a painstakingly handmade gift returned because the recipient wanted a different color (!!), so I know how crushing that is. That said, "posh" people can be crazy picky about materials, so while a queen-sized crocheted blanket made from acrylic represents a lot of work and love on your part, a picky recipient will just toss it right into the donation pile. Better to take that $30 and buy a single skein of cashmere/merino or merino/silk blend and make a small luxury item (like Citron or Ice Queen from knitty.com:

    http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter09/PATTcitron.php

    http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter07/PATTicequeen.html

    which use just one skein of Malabrigo laceweight, $10 or one skein of Kidsilk Haze, $12-14 respectively).  Lastly, I've seen women who reject handmade everything squee over needlepoint eyeglass cases. I don't know if you do needlepoint, but we have a shop in my (very chichi) town, where loaded ladies dripping in vicuna and pearls spend hours tittering over needlepoint eyeglass case designs. Bizarre.

  • H and I shop together for Christmas presents for both our families.

    It's not your job automatically just because you're the woman. Especially because your H is shooting down all your ideas. Just hand it off to him.

  • imagesrgw:

    H and I shop together for Christmas presents for both our families.

    It's not your job automatically just because you're the woman. Especially because your H is shooting down all your ideas. Just hand it off to him.

    Agree. What did he buy them before you got married? If it was good enough then, it's good enough now.

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  • imageKPSimon:

    imageallibally:
    I don't get why your getting them gifts for St. Nick's. I was always under the impression that like in the U.S it was holiday celebrated for the children.

    It's celebrated more in Europe than in the US. And often, includes adults...at least in our families. In the US many folks don't even know about it. Just been my experience though.

    I grew up with St. Nick. It was passed through the generations but it was always for the children. DH grew up with it in Germany. But again it was done with the children and once they were adults it wasn't celebrated anymore. I personally still find it really odd that your expected as adult children to get you parents/inlaws gifts for a holiday celebrated to teach children to be good or St. Nick's henchmen will threaten and scare you. But I guess I'm only aware of the tradition in parts of Switzterland, Germany and the US.
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  • imageapparently:

    Definitely a food gift -- you can get something very luxe without spending too much. If it were me, I would order Christine Ferber Raspberry Violet jam from Pierre Herme in Paris:

    http://www.pierreherme.com/confiture-de-framboises-a-la-violette.html


    This exquisite, foodie-worshipped jam is only 10 Euros! Pack it with a vintage silver spoon picked up from a flea market, something like this $5 find on ebay:

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Swedish-DEMITASSE-SPOON-Floral-NILS-JOHAN-NI-CR-SWEDEN-Adorable-Vintage-Spoon-/180753981191?pt=Antiques_Silver&hash=item2a15c6df07

    Polish the spoon carefully, pack it beautifully, and they will think you are the best daughter-in-law ever.

    You are a genius! I'm stealing this idea for my inlaws.  

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  • imageKPSimon:

    imageallibally:
    I don't get why your getting them gifts for St. Nick's. I was always under the impression that like in the U.S it was holiday celebrated for the children.

    It's celebrated more in Europe than in the US.  And often, includes adults...at least in our families.  In the US many folks don't even know about it.  Just been my experience though.

    Maybe you could get them some fancy chocolates from some posh chocolate places in Belgium?  They insist they're better than the Swiss for chocolate (we lived in Switzerland for a few years LOL).

    imageIlumine:
    How about lettting your DH deal with his parent's Christmas Presents? 
     

    I don't know about you guys, but I often buy all gifts for our families.  Is it often expected of the wife to take care of this?  Sure.  Is that 'fair'?  Well...life isn't fair!  LOL!  I don't mind it though.  I often know more of what someone would want over DH, but I do ask him for advice.  It's just how we roll.

    I think the playing cards are a nice idea.  What about your MIL?  Does she have any hobbies?

     

    If the OP is having a hard time finding a gift for picky people, people who may or may not hold the wrong gift over her head (and really, if this adult couple is expecting a gift on a Children-centric holiday, then they are more than likely going to have outlandish expectations of the gift as well), then why SHOULD she be the one to stick HER neck out?

    This antiquated "once you marry you take on the gift giving role" is crap and only puts uneccessary pressures on a person who DOESNT REALLY KNOW the people involved to begin with.

    So again - OP, what does your DH think?

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  • imageallibally:
    imageKPSimon:

    imageallibally:
    I don't get why your getting them gifts for St. Nick's. I was always under the impression that like in the U.S it was holiday celebrated for the children.

    It's celebrated more in Europe than in the US. And often, includes adults...at least in our families. In the US many folks don't even know about it. Just been my experience though.

    I grew up with St. Nick. It was passed through the generations but it was always for the children. DH grew up with it in Germany. But again it was done with the children and once they were adults it wasn't celebrated anymore. I personally still find it really odd that your expected as adult children to get you parents/inlaws gifts for a holiday celebrated to teach children to be good or St. Nick's henchmen will threaten and scare you. But I guess I'm only aware of the tradition in parts of Switzterland, Germany and the US.

     

    Different strokes for different folks...different families do different things (nothing right/wrong obviously).  Our families are from Italy, France, Germany and other countries and some of our family members do exchange small gifts among adults.  So if it's a tradition in the OP's family...that's not 'odd'...just the way they do things.  JMHO

  • imageIlumine:
    If the OP is having a hard time finding a gift for picky people, people who may or may not hold the wrong gift over her head (and really, if this adult couple is expecting a gift on a Children-centric holiday, then they are more than likely going to have outlandish expectations of the gift as well), then why SHOULD she be the one to stick HER neck out?

    This antiquated "once you marry you take on the gift giving role" is crap and only puts uneccessary pressures on a person who DOESNT REALLY KNOW the people involved to begin with.

    Meh...different strokes for different folks.  Just because some wives don't mind doing the gift giving, doesn't mean it's 'antiquated'.  It just works for them.  Same for St Nicholas Day.  In the OP's family...they obviously celebrate among the adults.  To each their own.

    Sounds like the OP wants to find something special for her inlaws and she's not getting much help from her Dh.  So she was looking for ideas.  I'm sure she knows she could tell her Dh - "you deal with it".  But unfortunately, it sounds like, either way, she's made out to be 'the bad guy'...so she's trying. 

  • Just wanted to say that your in-laws kinda sound like pricks (not that you didn't know that already).  Sorry you have to deal with them.  Also, I think hand made blankets are an awesome Christmas gift (that's what I plan on giving to family members this year).

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