Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Christmas Giving Spending...?
This is a kind of similar post to the spending one from a few days ago. DH and I this year are using our Christmas (combined w/ birthday and anniversary) gift "allotments" to get each other rather expensive electronics that we've been needing for home, school, and work projects. Because we've been trying to be more mindful of how we spend our money though (DH is a student, I'm looking at going back to school by next fall), we've capped our family gifts to 35-45 dollars a person. Does anyone else feel weird getting their spouse a really expensive gift while getting their family members more reasonably priced gifts? I mean, we're just trying to be smart with our money by using Christmas money on necessities (I'm starting to understand why my mother got appliances for Christmas), but I still feel a little strange about it.
Re: Christmas Giving Spending...?
Um, I guess it sort of depends. First off, sometimes a $35 gift--if the receiver REALLY wants it, can be as "valuable" to them as $1,000 gift. It's all a matter of perspective.
But, if you get your sister a thoughtless and totally generic sweater $30 sweater in a color she hates, all the while crying poverty during Christmas dinner while checking your facebook status from your brand new i-whatever....then as your relative, I might scratch my head.
But, if you surprised your culinary minded sister with the red mini food processor that she's been lusting after--she might go and change the evenings menu in honor of you and her new gift. See what I mean? Sometimes that's easier said than done. And no, I generally don't seek out gifts for my BIL that's are as expensive as what I'd give DH or MIL or FIL either. We're not as close with BIL/SIL, so it's harder to give them that are great "special" gift.
At the end of the day, though, it's YOUR money, and you can spend it how YOU and your husband wish.
OMG, this is my BIL & SIL and it's SO annoying. "We don't have any money, but look at my iPhone and the new diamond bracelet I just got."
I am going to give a biased answer because DH & I do not exchange with anyone in our families except buy for the kids. Even with just buying everyone 1, nice gift, the spending got out of hand and Christmas was centered around the gifts rather than the quality time.
We opted to tell both our sides of our families a few years back (when our 1st niece was born - my brother's daughter), that we will buy for niece, but everyone else is an adult & can buy for themselves.
DH and I don't exchange between eachother, perse, but rather buy something "big" for the house or ourselves that we couldn't justify buying all year, just to treat ourselves, i.e. last year was a new tv and this year will be a new camera. But, I still know couples that spend A LOT more on eachother/themselves than that.
I say it's the thought that counts. If someone is petty enough to give you the side eye for buying them a sweater when you bought yourself or DH something larger, than that's their issue. It is your money and how you choose to spend it is your business. Whenever someone gives me a gift, I don't measure the gift by how expensive it was and certainly don't weigh in factors of their income, etc.
I do not feel at all guilty buying my husband something more expensive than others in our families.
I care more about his happiness and what makes his holiday than anyone else. And the same goes for him with my gifts.
I just try to spend the same on each sibling & parent (DH does his own family's gifts). But DH is in his own category and I spend what I can and want with no regrets.
74 books read in 2011
This year I have kept an excel sheet of my holiday spending so I can keep track and remember what I get people each year. I have spent about $250 on DH and about $30 on each adult in our families, $60 on the kids. I think that is about right. He is after all my DH. I would be a bit peeved quite frankly if he spent the same on me as his sister! Last year she gave me a book on cooking kid's meals (we weren't even married yet and I have no kids) and some very obviously regifted chocolates...
It really is the thought that counts with gifts.. don't worry about the $ amount. I'd rather a $5 book that i would actually read and that shows it was bought for me than a $20 one just grabbed of the shelf.
Not at all. For me the holidays are about family and the thoughtfulness of the gift. It's not a competition. I've actually called out nieces and nephews when they didn't appreciate what they got and told them I would take it back and they wouldn't get anything from now on. They learned fast!
I don't think it's odd. But don't flaunt it.
My youngest sibling is a poor college student, so we usually set a limit on how much we spend on each other. My bro and I usually double that number for lil sis, since we are both married and she buys a gift for each of us. We usually spend $20-30 on each other. and $50 each on our parents, we typically go in on something big for them.
DH likes to exchange gifts, but I prefer to wait until Jan and buy something big that we both want. Not something we need, but something we want. This year we are getting a second TV.