Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: So...I contacted the OW yesterday
Oh dear, you definitely reflecting that you don't care how immature or trashy you seem. Unfortunately, you are too blind to see that there will be consequences to this. You are being reckless with yourself and obviously you don't love yourself enough to the point to take care of yourself and your character. People will always judge you based on your character.
So by me sending ONE email that simply recounted the facts as I know them and not planning to be friendly to the man who betrayed me that means that I am a person of poor character who is going to loose my son? Oh ok. Well my attorney seems to think differently. He has told me that the judges see it all and that they really don't care about the petty things that they hear every day such as the betrayed one emailing the OW.
Seriously! I know you're hurting.. but WOMAN UP!!
Honestly, I wouldn't take any chances. I would keep my cool for my child's sake. What if you got a judge who scrutinized the email and made a call based on that? Why risk it?
And by the stance that you are taking here and the fact that you seem to refuse to listen to logic over and over again (from people such as AK and many others who have been in the EXACT SAME POSITION as you) seems to lead me to believe the email wasn't as calm and fact driven as you're trying to claim.
What we are saying is that if you do it once, the likelihood is that you will do it again. And the constant nasty emails will eventually taint your character. That's all.
I think it's more your ongoing history of really poor destructive choices. No it's not just the one email. But I'm sure this isn't the last ridiculous thing you will do. You're developing a really bad pattern. I highly doubt with your lack of desire to improve your behavior this will be the last outburst.
I'm genuinely curious what you thought writing the email would accomplish.
What the two of them did; him by cheating on you and her by being the OW makes them scum sucking trash. But by continuing to blame and dwell rather than heal, and by shoving all of this in their face, you're sinking lower into the mud with them. The best interest of your child be damned (which seems to be a theme for you, yes?)
And as someone much more nicely said, you're better than this, you deserve to be better than this, so why are you purposely degrading yourself and making yourself the butt of their joke? And as others mentioned, your obsession with revenge or whatever could hurt your custody case if you're not careful. Oh and I'm a lawyer. It's your lawyer's job to control your crazy and sugar coat things for you.
No, you won't lose your son over this. Sadly, he'll be yet another kid who grows up with no idea of what a civil relationship looks like because his parents are immature and self-absorbed.
So, here you write that you know that it wasn't the right thing to do, and that this woman was probably lied to by your X...
But here you say you have no intention of ever being friendly with her... It sounds like you are mad at her for something that is most likely not her fault at all.
Maybe you will not lose your child, but your kids can feel tension and know when the two parents they love are holding on to hate for one another. IT will be better for him if you let go of this anger. Because like it or not your attitude is hurting him just as much as his father's actions.
I am truly sorry your X was a douche, but you need to be the better person here.
A lot of judges hate parental alienation so you never know. If she gets up and says "He betrayed me and I will never be civil to him again" that is definitely points against her.
I started to compose something about how I was sorry for you for making a fool out of yourself but then I deleted it because I didn't want to "kick you while you were down" but I want to thank everyone else for saying exactly what I was thinking.
Why on earth would you contact her. What does that prove? Just that you are a psycho ex who is still hung up on her baby daddy....
Yes, but probably in less polite terms. Why don't you answer the phone?
It doesn't have to be like this. Trust me. Two people who I considered my best friends were sexting my exH during the downturn of our relationship (when I was begging for couple's counseling) and then through the divorce. At some point you just have to stop it. Just stop thinking about it, look at the good in your life, and move the f*ck on.
LOL, they work for an employer who has all of their contact info on the web page.
If you were in reverse situation and your ex called or emailed your boyfriend... I would think you would tell your ex to leave your boyfriend alone!
Nah I bet the email made him realize what a douche he was and he's calling to beg your forgiveness and take him back. Yeah, bet that's it.
I can't imagine anything good would come out of a conversation with him right now. He would probably just tell me what an idiot I am and I would tell him to eff off and that would probably be about how it would go.
OMFG! You sent this to her WORK email. No seriously you have major, major issues and so inappropriate.
If we could make everyone into Jeana, daytime talk shows would be toast. More reruns of Psych!
Thanks for the laugh. While I may be a little crazy I do at least realize that we are way past the point of any hopes of reconciliation.
Which brings me back to what you were trying to accomplish by contacting the OW in the first place? All it seems to have done is make you feel more justified in your sense that he wronged you....which we could have done or a therapist could have done without the loss of dignity and ensuing drama.
Sarcasm fail Mint. Although I'm pretty sure the rest of us got it.
Bad move. Focus on your kid and re-building your life. You'll be better off.
No more e-mails. Communicate with the ex only in regards to the child. Leave it alone.
You're right- there was nothing wrong with emailing her. I don't know why everyone is telling you that email will set off a cycle of mean-spirited back-and-forth that is detrimental to your son's well-being.
I knew I should have added a ::giggle, snort::
Not only is sending this to her work email innapropriate, if her work filters her emails first this could become more of an issue. Please don't do that again for everyone's sakes. And answer your phone, talk to your ex, apologize for the less than stellar behavior (no matter what a douche he is), and move on.