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Babies SOOO NOT on the Brain
Does anyone else simply NOT want children? My husband and I don't, and so have taken/are taking steps to permanently prevent having children. I am so thankful my in-laws are completely cool with it, almost happy. My dad is not very thrilled but can understand our reasons. However, if I mention it to anyone else, besides my very best friends, whether extended family, casual friends, whatever, the immediate response is always some variation of "Oh, you'll change your mind." And I know it shouldn't bug me, but it really does. No, we will NOT change our minds, we have made an informed decision and it will not change.
I just wonder if anyone else has had to deal with this? Is there any way you deal with the people? Maybe some snide comment or remark that will throw them off their feet so they'll shut up? Or some way you find amusement in this?
Any and all comments welcome 
Re: Babies SOOO NOT on the Brain
Most of us on this board has dealt with this. Either we choose never to have children, don't want to for a few or many years, can't have children, or are unsure. Either way, we get what you're going through, but the best thing to do is to be honest and tell people why you aren't ready or interested in having another baby soon.
People in my life tend to leave us alone because they know our goals- we plan on moving and buying a home and becoming established in our careers (we have seen people have kids who weren't ready and are suffering financially and therefore emotionally from it and dont' want that).
I find that people are usually more understanding when they understand your reasoning for not wanting to procreate.
If not, say something sarcastic or uncomfortable to throw them off.
My H and I plan to be child free by choice as well. Because we are pretty young, I haven't written off the fact that my mind may change, but I know how difficult it is to answer those questions. From the day we got engaged, we have dealt with his family and my grandmother asking when we'll have kids. I tend to deal with it by giving a smile, and saying "if and when we do, we'll let you know. For now, we are happy enjoying married life and focusing on our careers."
However, if you are sure you will never change your mind, just stick to your guns. Your uterus is no one's business but yours.
I have been told several times that I HAVE to have at least one child as if it is some sort of law. People don't understand not wanting children. I have also been told that the purpose of getting married is to have a family so if you aren't going to have children why bother getting married.
H and I are still up in the air about having children. I would be perfectly happy not having them but I think a part of him would like one someday. We have agreed to table the discussion for at least another 5 years before we make a definate decision and take perment prevention.
Yep, H and I are never evers. If we change our mind, it is never ever our own, and we will adopt.
As for the "oh you will change your mind" I always give some smart response, like "I am changing my mind right now, about this friendship..." or "I know people to change their mind about having kids, after they have already had them" and my favorite " You want me to change my mind, because misery loves company"
I'm pretty sure there are ways to prevent said "surprise" and I cant imagine you'd actually try to convince anyone a pregnancy is a "surprise". I would consider that more of a careless mistake, especially if you actually don't want a baby. I always find it amusing when my xSIL says nephew was a "surprise". Um did you use any form of prevention? Well, no... So why's it a "surprise" that the sperm made it to the egg?
This cracked me up and I totally agree. it's like: What? Surprise!!! Sex = Babies! Who knew??
my read shelf:
I just couldn't resist. I dont think I can stand to hear one more person act like they are in complete shock.
BTW- I love your new siggy pic!
H and I have been married almost 18 months now and I thought we had put this issue to bed a while ago with our families & friends.
Both my MIL and now my own mother are on my case about grandchildren (notice I said my, not our). My in-laws already have two grandchildren via my irresponsible SIL but they keep telling me/us that they want grandchildren that they "don't have to worry about." As for my mom... she's just started on this baby track and I'm already sick of it. Thankfully my dad respects my wishes and keeps his thoughts on the subject to himself.
So I guess my question is this - why is it that people "wish" something on / for you that they are well aware you don't want? It's something I don't think I'll ever understand. I guess I look at it this way - H and I have a great thing going, why would we want to mess it up? I have very little if any desire to have children and highly doubt this will change. In fact, if I would have been one of the unlucky ladies to get the Pfzier birth control that was defective and did end up pregnant... I'm not really sure what I'd do. I'm a private person and really don't get what business it is of anyone's why I / we don't have children, don't want children, etc. It's kind of like when a mother says to her child "because I said so" is the basis of her decision... why can't people just take "because we said so" for an answer and leave it at that?
Ok, rant over.
I just figured I can't be the only one who feels this way...