Wow.. I'm gonna be a grandma before 40.

Princess_Lily

I think your daughter's future really depends on how she decides to take charge of her life.

There are some people like the PP, who persevere and are quite successful with what life throws at them, and then there are others who tend to give up or strive for the bare minimum.

GL with the conversation. 

  

Milsey32

PwincessBride:

awick14:

donnycornelius:

OK listen, this is going to sound really snobby, but working on car engines can be hobby instead of a career. I know plenty of people who work regular jobs and then spend the weekends in the garage with their cars.   Your daughter needs to set a realistic goal for herself in terms of a future career, and her child needs to be her primary responsibility, even if that means pursuing a career that is stable, but perhaps not terribly exciting.  

I think she should try to get into a real college and pursue a degree that will give her the flexibility to work across many fields after she graduates, not just pigeonhole herself into a trade.

To the bolded part: yes it can be a hobby but I know a few mechanics that make upwards of $100,000 a year. It can bring in a lot of money for her and her future child.

What about working on car engines is not a "regular job"?  I agree with awick, a skilled tradesperson may be much more in demand than the eleventy-million liberal arts recent graduates looking for work right now.  And I say that as a liberal arts major who has been there, so I'm not criticizing them either.

 

I'm so glad I wasn't the only one that caught onto this. My Uncle is a very successful mechanic that fully supports his family with his income AND he enjoys his job. I never want to "settle" for a job. I want to be happy in my work.

stephogirl

donnycornelius:

OK listen, this is going to sound really snobby, but working on car engines can be hobby instead of a career.     I know plenty of people who work regular jobs and then spend the weekends in the garage with their cars.   Your daughter needs to set a realistic goal for herself in terms of a future career, and her child needs to be her primary responsibility, even if that means pursuing a career that is stable, but perhaps not terribly exciting.  

I think she should try to get into a real college and pursue a degree that will give her the flexibility to work across many fields after she graduates, not just pigeonhole herself into a trade.

WTH is wrong with being an auto mechanic? Pigeonholing herself into a trade?? Are you kidding me? Auto mechanics can and do make great money. I have a master's degree that should be giving me "the flexibility to work across many fields" but I just hit the one year anniversary of being laid off. Sometimes I wish I had a more specialized trade so I didn't have to convince an employer that I do have the specific skills desired for that position. If I was skilled in a "trade", my skills would be pretty obvious.

kt012885

donnycornelius:

OK listen, this is going to sound really snobby, but working on car engines can be hobby instead of a career.     I know plenty of people who work regular jobs and then spend the weekends in the garage with their cars.   Your daughter needs to set a realistic goal for herself in terms of a future career, and her child needs to be her primary responsibility, even if that means pursuing a career that is stable, but perhaps not terribly exciting.  

I think she should try to get into a real college and pursue a degree that will give her the flexibility to work across many fields after she graduates, not just pigeonhole herself into a trade.

 I just wanted to comment in saying that working on car engines can/maybe provide a very good income.  I went to a 'real college' and I have $60,000 in student loan debt and I make 11.00 an hour.  I have a degree in Business Administration and a double minor in psychology and marketing.  Ive been out of college for 4 years and I work at a good bank.  Sometimes I wish I would have gone to a speciality school instead so that I could maybe make more money and not pay $400 a month for 25 years.  Hopefully it'll payoff in the long run but you never know.  I can understand keeping options open for many fields but hey if she loves it and is good at it- she'll probably make good money! 

Laurakat81

donnycornelius:

I'd be disappointed in my child too, but what's done is done.

All you can do is offer support (without becoming an enabler).   Your daughter can still have a wildly successful life....it's just going to be a much more difficult road to get there.

This!

TarponMonoxide

Tweetysvoice:

alithebride:

 why will she not continue with school? plenty of colleges have places for moms to leave their kids while they attend classes.

She wants to be an auto mechanic. (yes, I know odd for a girl, but she loves working on car engines). So this type of school is a specialty and most don't even offer classes online.  I'm trying to convince her to at least look at a community college or online classes to get some more core stuff out of the way. But right now, it's so new - all I get is "Mom, I'm going to be a mother - I won't have time for that". Sigh... 

A friend of mine has a daughter who is a mechanic.

The kid tried college for a year and was meh on her future. She looked into taking a couple of courses at an automotive school, liked it, and now she is a full fledged mechanic.

She's been doing that now for nearly 6 years.

Google automotive schools; there should be some in your area.

 

 

kgettingmarried

alithebride:

wow i'm 36 and not even a mom. YAY

sounds like you had her rather young as well.  why will she not continue with school? plenty of colleges have places for moms to leave their kids while they attend classes.

 

Yuuuuup,  plus she'll be able to get more student loans and assistance since being a parent puts her in the "independent student" category.  Also, she'll get a decent tax credit which will help her catch up at tax time.

I don't see any reason not to continue with school.  Universities have a lot of student parent-friendly options and they usually offer student parent/married student housing and childcare for a low price on campus. 

Nineoceans

I can't believe so many are in the make lemonade out of lemons camp. She has options and every day they are getting more limited but she does have options with regard to the pregnancy. As far as parenting, I would be incredibly disappointed. She's 18, still in school, no partner. It's disturbing to me how people would think this is perfectly acceptable. If she does the right thing and stays in school the child will grow up in day care with a stressed mom. I went through undergrad and grad and there is no way I could have done internships, practicums, and the happy hours/networking events after hours that it took to get through school and to get a great paying flexible job afterwards. That would not have happened with a baby. If she quits school and just finds work she will be making $12/hr the rest of her life which is awful as well. I would be having some very serious conversations with her about budget, job, childcare and parenting realities. She's in for a huge wake up call once that baby comes.

MallardDucky

Tweetysvoice:

I was 20 when she was born, but I had also been married for a year. (long story - not going into ex issues. lol)  So yes, I'm not faulting her for her age at all - she's an adult and we realize that she has every right to do whatever she wants and we have no say in it anymore at all.  Maybe this is what this is all about. It's already hard accepting that she's an adult (just turned 18 in Aug) and now we are really being testing in the "letting her go". 

She wants to get an apartment with a friend, but this almost scares me as much as anything - only because this friend is one of the flakiest (but sweetest) people i know. I guess she might have to learn the hard way that living on your own isn't as easy as television makes it out to be.  

She's been very responsible in all other areas of her life. going to school while having two jobs, getting good grades, etc..  

I am sorry but I am just a lurker so take this with a grain of salt.

Am I the only person that has seen the above bolded part.  Sounds like at 18 she has a pretty good head on her shoulders and with her family by her side she can have a child and go to college and have a job.