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He's leaving...babies on the brain

Hi All,

 

Quick introduction..I am Melody.  My husband, Chris is in the USMC.  He is my best friend and I am so proud to be a military wife.  We found out a few months ago that he is being deployed with the Black Sea Rotational Force.  He is currently in training to leave in the early spring.  I miss having him around so much and I cannot imagine how hard it will be when we cannot communicate regularly like we are able to now.  

 We had a miscarriage in March and have not exactly been trying ever since but not exactly preventing.  We want kids so badly and I cannot imagine waiting a whole year before we can try again.  Is it crazy of me to want to somehow get pregnant before he leaves?  Looking at the ovulation calculator compared to the leave schedule it doesn't look like it could happen but a girl can dream.

 

Thought I would put the idea out there and get advice or just feedback or even just a HELLO as I am new here.

 

Semper Fi

Re: He's leaving...babies on the brain

  • Only you can decide if you want to get pregnant and have a baby while he is gone.  They will not send him home when you have the baby, and that has to be something you're okay with.  We knew H had another deployment coming up soon after the last one ended, so we decided to wait until after this next one to start trying.  For us, and me, it was worth it to wait another year so that he was there for all of it.  But not everyone feels the same.  There really is no right or wrong, it's what you and your H decide is best for you.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • How long have you been married?

    How old are both of you?

    How long has he been in the Marine Corps?

    How long does he plan on staying in?

    Is he affected by the new rules for E6 promotion with TIS?

    Is he comfortable with missing things like u/s, gender reveal, etc?

    Can you handle it if you miscarry again and you're alone? 

    ETA: Is it true the BSRF is only a 5 month trip? 

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • We have been married for just over 2 years.

     I am 23 and he is 24 (we are very young and have plenty of time, I know)

    He has been in for 3.5 yrs

    Depending on the week (and how timely the USMC is with pay and promotions) he plays with the idea of being a life-er or just not re-upping when the time comes.

    I really don't think it will happen before he leaves...I caught myself watching an episode of Sister Wives where one of them had *yet another* kid and it was a moment of weakness.

    BSRF is about 6 mos plus or minus 6 months for training and debriefing.

  • I wouldn't say you're crazy, but I think down the road, you'll be grateful you waited. 
    Twin boys due 7/25/12
  • Its completely up to you when you want to start your family.  Its much harder to go through pregnancy/childbirth sans husband, but many women on here have and have done just fine.  I would say its not an ideal situation though.  

    I think if you're apprehensive, I'd wait until he's home.  I'm sorry about your loss.  That's really hard.  

    Good luck, whatever you guys decide! 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • imageMelody8809:

    We have been married for just over 2 years.

     I am 23 and he is 24 (we are very young and have plenty of time, I know)

    He has been in for 3.5 yrs

    Depending on the week (and how timely the USMC is with pay and promotions) he plays with the idea of being a life-er or just not re-upping when the time comes.

    I really don't think it will happen before he leaves...I caught myself watching an episode of Sister Wives where one of them had *yet another* kid and it was a moment of weakness.

    BSRF is about 6 mos plus or minus 6 months for training and debriefing.

    I would wait based on all of this info.  

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • A little late to the party but here is my opinion....

    Being pregnant is hard.  Especially after you  had a miscarriage.  The 2nd time around you are scared/anxious/worried every day.  I found out I was pregnant the week that DH went to SOI (only gone for 10 weeks +2 weeks for checking into his unit).  Going through the 1st tri without him around for support was difficult.

    You also need to think could you handle it if you had another m/c and DH wasn't there.  It stinks to think about, but you need to really be sure you can handle all that alone before you decide.  Another thing to think about is what if something goes wrong and you are put on bed rest or hospitalized.  Can you afford not to work, do you have responsibilities (pets, etc.) that someone else can take over for you?

     

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