Sure wish I could put a smile on my face these days. If you haven't read Tamara's update post then you won't know what's going on in my life so this probably won't make much sense.
H moved his clothes out today. I sure wish this would get easier. I'm in a weird place right now. I find myself so sad that this is ending, but yet excited that I get to move on and be my own person. H was pretty controlling, so not being under his control is a relief. But I'm still so depressed that he's not there to talk to. I've been able to be around him during the weekends & during the week - that is up until this past weekend. Him & I got in an argument on Friday about why our marriage ended. Of course, he keeps blaming me entirely for it and won't listen to reason. It was just so much stress on Friday he had to leave and stay at his mom & dad's. He took one of the dogs and left the other. My sister, BIL, & my niece came into town on Saturday night and I knew I couldn't leave the other dog at the house by herself since she's kind of needy. So I called him and asked if he could get her. So for today and for the rest of this week that leaves me completely by myself which is just unbelievable lonely. Unless I go to his parents and get the dogs. I should add he now works in Auburn Hills so he got an apartment up there. Right now I just don't feel like facing his parents but I figure if it gets bad enough I'll call & go get the dogs.
I'm currently looking for a job back around my family in the Putnam County area - so once I get that I could move. Since I work 3rd shift I didn't think it would be a good idea to commute. I'm starting to think that maybe I should though. The drive would be over an hour. It's so hard to even think straight with all this going on.
Re: Dark days . . .
Thanks all - I know it will be better once I am back home. Luckily - I'm having a good day today. Thank God for good days!!! Just wish I had more of them - can't stand this roller coaster - I'm up - down - then I'm up again - down. Geesh!!!
It probably didn't hurt that I got my antidepressant refilled. Ya think!
I am so sorry for all this. Thinking of you!