Same-Sex Households
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Christmas help :)

I know this is for same-sex households and I'm not, but you all seem fun! Ok, so Christmas is coming up and my side of the family drew names and we are buying 1 gift for them with a $50 limit, plus we buy for the kids of course. This really saves us A LOT of money since my side is so big. Well my husbands side wants to buy gifts for everyone....we seriously can't afford that right now. In this month alone I've had 5 birthdays, and in December I have 2 birthdays plus Christmas. So I've been trying to convince my MIL to possibly draw names but she kind of goes around my question and changes the subject. I told my husband that if they don't draw names everyone gets a $10 gift because thats all we can afford for everyone...but I know in the end, they aren't going to appreciate the $10 we spent on them....ok I don't know if that came out right but basically we can't afford big extravagent gifts for everyone on his side. I'm trying to deal with this myself instead of asking my husband to take care of it since he always gets drug into it by his mom. How would you guys tell her if you were me, would you say something like "ok listen up, cant afford it sorry" or would you just keep quiet and buy the $10 gifts for everyone?

Re: Christmas help :)

  • We have the same sort of problem.  K has a huge family.  I'm talking six sisters plus tons of nieces, nephews, great-nieces, great-nephews.  The sisters all draw names to buy for each other, but then we buy all the kids gifts.  We just can't afford it.  And unfortunately I don't think all the kids appreciate the gifts anyway.  The last time we spent Xmas with them, it took the kids over 3 hours to open all their presents.  They would play with a ton for 10 minutes and then forget who gave it to them. Plus they never send thank yous....okay side track....If you can't talk the family into drawing names they a $10 is what you'll need to do.  $10 is still enough to get really creative and individualize the gifts.
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  • I would tell her that you just can't afford, and that your not sure everyone else can either, and drawing names is fair.

     

    I totally relate to you, but we have always drawn names. It seems sensible to me.

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  • yeah, when i was growing up my step-mother had 11 brothers and sisters. that was crazy! to be honest i'm not sure what they did, although i think they may have drawn names.

    my family is pretty large. i've got one sister and two brothers, but we're all in serious relationships (three of us are married) and my brothers have 4 kids each. for christmas we have the whole clan, plus my dad's ex-wife and her husband, her sister with her boyfriend, and a few friends of the family that don't have their own to celebrate with. it gets crazy! luckily my family is really laid back, so we do the name drawing thing and it was a really easy transition that everybody liked. for the kids, the grandparents get them lots of stuff and we tend to get them one thing per household, like a game or a big box of art supplies.

    my wife has a large extended family, but they don't do gifts. her immediate family is much smaller. her parents buy for everyone and we buy gifts for her parents and niece. we do something private at our house with her sister because we're close with her, but we don't do anything for her brother or his wife and they don't do anything for us.

    maybe you could talk to some other people in your extended family and feel out the support for a change like that. it might be a lot easier to make the change if you had other folks on board rather than trying to convince her on your own. good luck!

     

    ok, why do my replies always turn into essays? sorry! Embarrassed

  • My dad's side of the family is quite large and we all switched names.  The kids took kids and the adults chose adults.  It worked out fine.  We have also had years that we only gave handmade gifts.  I would try to talk to your mother in law about it again.  I am sure you are not the only person in the family that would like a year off.  If she is still  won't bend I would try to do a hand made christmas this is much cheaper and much more personal.  Although that might not go over in your family.  Good luck and welcome.  We welcome allies her too.

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  • Thank you all for your advice...I will talk to my husband and try to see what would be the best way to approach it, shes very...how would you put it...psychotic haha!
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