Skype Awkwardness: a little lengthy

gblake

A little backstory before the awkward part. Friday my MIL emails me and tells me that the next time we are on Skype she would like us to meet someone. She then describes this someone who is obviously a male and would probably be considered a boyfriend. This is completely out of the blue. We talk to her every weekend and I usually talk to her on Mondays and she's never indicated she's been dating or seeing anyone. Since DH's father passed about 10 years ago, I have never seen her date or be interested in a male companion. That same day DH came home at lunch to give me the car so I could do some grocery shopping. I inform DH about meeting the "someone" on Skype. He refuses to believe it's a man and tells me she probably got a dog. I had to read him the email where she gives me all his details. Once I got to the part where it said Vietnam vet he soon realized that we were talking about a man and then he proceeds to freak out.

To the awkward part; we call to her house line and she says she'll jump on Skype. Before she hangs up we hear a males voice on the other end. She video calls us and we have to meet this guy after just learning of his existence the day before. It was a little awkward but he's incredibly nice.

This relationship has just started and is moving really fast. My MIL and I are pretty close so she asked me if I had any questions and I did. From the information she gave me, they seem like a good match and I wouldn't be surprised if it turned into something permanent. He's calling her his girlfriend but shes a little hesitant to call him her boyfriend. DH is handling it as well as can be expected. Which means not that good and would have been happier if it was a dog.

MintChocoChip

Aww, I'm glad you think they're a good match.  I have a feeling that children of deceased parents are always wary of a new partner for their parent. What matters is that she is happy though, I'm sure he will get used to the idea.

bluegirl2006

After 10 years of his mom being alone it is probably going to take some adjustment on your H's part. But good on his mom for moving forward with her life! I wish her much happiness.

AmericanInOz

oh wow yea that's awkward!!! that's great she found someone though your dh will get used to it in time i imagine!

mrshooi

Oh my!  That would be awkward but good on you and your DH for not acting strange on Skype, I am sure it will take some getting used to!

pokepoke27

I'm glad to hear that she has found someone nice. Just try to be understanding of your hubby's feelings, and try to help out MIL by helping him ease into the idea. I'm sure he's just feeling a little protective, and I'm sure he also doesn't like that he isn't there to comfort her if the relationship goes wrong.

ktkl09

My dad died ten years ago and I still don't think I would be comfortable with my mom having a boyfriend. Though I don't want to see her alone all her life, but still the idea doesn't sit well.

Just be understanding of H's feelings, it's a really difficult thing to deal with. 

kelly321

That story is both cute and touching. I'm sure it's hard for your DH, as it is for anyone whose living parent decides to start dating again. My dad's mother died when he was only 23, and his dad remarried only 1.5 years later. Although my dad once told me (just a few years ago) that the following marriage was more a marriage of convenience than one of love, one of my aunts never warmed up to the new wife, who I knew as my grandma my whole life.

I'm sure your DH just needs some time to process things and get used to the idea. It probably wasn't your MIL's best idea ever to just hint at it in an email and then have you meet him face to face on skype. Allowing some time for your DH to sort through his emotions would probably have been better, but what's done is done. As someone else said, while I don't think anyone wants their parent(s) to grow old alone, it can still be pretty emotional when they start dating someone new. 

PittPurple

That's really lovely that she wanted you all to meet. I'm sure it's hard for your DH, but it must be so lovely to see your MIL so happy! My parents divorced over 10 years ago and I still think it's strange to see them dating so I'm sure it's so much harder for someone who lost a parent. 

gblake

Really, he's taking it as well as can be expected. We discussed it more since it happened this weekend and he said he's happy as long as she's happy. And he said it gives him piece of mind that she has a companion; since we are so far away and so is DHs sister. If it gets serious we are happy that our LO will have a grandfather figure (both of our fathers have passed). Though DH said this guy or any other will not go by the name Grandpa. He thinks that should only be reserved for our fathers. So we discussed other names.