Mums Bumps and BBTs

MouseInLux

Hi everyone, sorry about last week! How are we all, ups, downs?

QOTW: How do you feel about the expectations put on kids based on their gender? Do you find yourself following them?

~BUMPS~chelbel7 (UK) - Due December 16 - team PinkShekels831 (Israel) ? Due January 2 -team Bluetiticole (Kora) - Due January 14Fififa21 (Mexico) ? Due January 16Brit's Luna154 (India) - Due January 16rpic81 (UK) - Due January 24txlioncub() - Due Marchbail229 (Australia) ? Due April 14Johlise(US) - Due April 18Just Peachy (Qatar) - Due April 30MrsHooi (Indonesia) - Due June 1st.  ~BUMPS-TO-BE~LoopyNoodle (Ireland) ? TTC #1Treesapplaud (Sweden) ? TTC #1Blueberries8 (Israel) ? TTC #1Mavjen (UK) ? TTC #1sushisamba (UK) ? TTC #1 http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/308f00ondjima (Namibia) ? TTC #1 http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/26f699StumpyG (Japan) ? TTC #1oneslybookworm (Netherlands) ? TTC #1 in 2012Mrs. DRJ - TTC #1txlioncub - TTC #1 ~BIRTHDAYS~January5: Melaina25's (Scotland) DS, 20107: LizzieandGar's (Ireland) DS, James, 200921: LAChurch's (USA) DS, 200923: lyvienna's (Vienna) DS, Owen, 200823: titicole's (UK) DS, Micah William, 2010February6: beannie's (UK) DS, TM, 20098: lyvienna's (Vienna) DS, Everett, 201010: andrea922's (US) DS, Finlay, 2008March1: Irishgal (Ireland) DD, Niamh (pronounced Neeve,) 20112: Nanner's (Singapore) DD, Hannah Jeanne, 20074: kellibelli04 (Guatemala) DD, 20116: bahamasbride.04.07's (Germany) DD, Luisa, 200911: katrina_pharmd (NZ) DS, Michael, 201112: cee-jay's DD, Lina, 2008April5: andrea922 (US) DD, Lila, 201116: kelly321 (Germany) DD, Rebecca Vivian, 201121: nestinginjapan's (CA) DS, Levi, 201022: twopeasinapod's (Netherlands) DS, Quint, 200828: stephanieVM's (ARG) DS, Lucien Andre, 2007May9: vivjek's (Australia) DD, Isobel, 200910: dubliner's (Ireland) DS, Henry, 201020: pandi02a (Germany) DS, Dominic, 201121: rocket2japan's (Poland) DS, Anders, 201024: Bananas0827's (Scotland) DS, Daniel Alexander, 201031: hamilton.ja's (US) DD, Evelyn Therese, 2010June12: KimiCas's (UK) DS, Sebastien, 200822: Linnya's (Germany) DS, Seamus, 200822: ExpatFamily06's (UK) DS, Leo, 200923: Nanner's (Singapore) DS, Samuel Ezra, 200525: MouseInLux's (Luxembourg) DD, Eleanor, 201127: welshgirl's (UK) DS, William, 200827: brainie's (UK) DD, Elizabeth Jane, 201029: cakenbake's (Italy) DS, Jonathan Wesley, 201029: xnickerx's (the Netherlands) DD, Sabrina Rachel, 1999July2: bigfatgreekwedd's (Netherlands) DD, Una, 20072: newporter's (Ireland & NYC) DD, 20093: plainjanie1's (Japan) DD, Aeris Noelle, 20105: expatjen's (India) DS, 20105: MoniqueJW's (Australia) DD, Genevieve Joni, 20105: newporter's (Ireland & NYC) DD, 200715: stephanieVM's (ARG) DD, Rose Margo, 200921: azure_azure's (France) DS, Morgan, 200825: stever's (USA) DS, Mikey, 2009August1: sarahkelly's (Netherlands) DD, Sadie, 20087: ExpatFamily (UK) DS, Ajax, 20119: Tofumonkey's (UK) DDs, Kaitlynn and Lochlynn, 201012: Emily523 (UK) DS, William, 201013: FayeD's (Italy) DS, Baby D, 200916: alwyzbsy's (Germany) DD, Alexandra, 201017: globalwife (Colombia) DD, Velencia, 201121: Just Peachy's (Qatar) DS, EM, 200831: Linnya's (Germany) DS, Owen, 2010September10: bugabean's (Denmark) DD, Bean, 200814: LAChurch's (USA) DD, Zareen, 201015: northgal's (Qatar) DD, Vesper, 200921: mrshooi's (South Africa) DS, Otto, 200926: Amy726's (Australia) DS, Benjamin Ernest, 201027: cakenbake's (Italy) DS, Jeffery, 2008October13: bugabean's (Denmark) DD, Bug, 201015: xnickerx's (the Netherlands) DD, Florence Rebecca Maria, 201019: MrsBini10's (USA) DS, Noah, 201126: bigfatgreekwedd's (Netherlands) DS, Nestor Arthur, 201027: jillana's (UK) DS, Costa, 200831: LadyMadrid's (Spain) DD, Aurelia, 2011November?: hamilton.ja's (US) DS, 20072: traveling turtle's (Germany) DS, William, 20109: gblake's (Australia) DS Thomas Cole, 201010: EnidFalcor, DD, 201010: Choensa's (Korea) DS, 200912: MarlaDossett's (USA) DD, Irene Caitlin, 200812: lelia's (Germany) DD, Frances Caroline, 201023: beannie's (UK) DS, EG, 201128: amwallac's () DD, Georgia, 2010December2: Ctgirlingermany (Germany) DD - Ryan, 20116: welshgirl's (UK) DD, Matilda Jane, 20108: lorilane4's (US) DD, Stella Lane, 201016: northgal's (Qatar) DD, Neve, 200620: BlushingMama's (UK) DS, James Edward, 200720: ashleynicoles's (Netherlands) DD, Chlo? Isabella, 201023: sandradpage's (Australia) DS, Brayden Luca, 2010

26: kahleorourke's (US) DD, 2009 

titicole

Ups: M is making friends and learning from these friendships which I think is not only facinating but great.  It is such fun to see him flourish with these new relationships.

Down:  I think sickness has come back.  DH just got over a cough that would not go away to coming back, and M and I both woke up today with cold symptoms.

QOTW:  We haven't really put anything on M about what he should like.  Naturally he has shown an interest in cars, police cars, trains and Bob the Builder toys.  He does have loads of teddies that he kisses and cuddles, but does not nurture.  It will be interesting when the baby comes if he will start.  There is a doll that he plays with at church, yet he doesn't really nurture it, more like throws it around, but likes to pick it up.

welshgirl

We're doign pretty well. Despite M struggling with sleep between 4-6am (which makes for some short nights for all of us), she's happy and one today!! We had a renal ultrasound appointment Monday, so that was fun. Otherwise, not much to report!

W is in his school's Christmas show (nursery school show, so it's all about a start and baby Jesus - I can't wait to see it tomorrow!), he's generally doing well this week. Last week he was so poorly with a nasty tummy bug, so it's nice to see him healthier and happier.

QOTW: How do you feel about the expectations put on kids based on their gender? Do you find yourself following them?

Well, I try to avoid them, but I think it's impossible to really do it completely, if you live in the world - even if you avoid it, others won't. On a superficial elvel (not really what you're asking, but still...) we have a lot of second-hand clothes, for example, so my initial avoidance of pink has gone out the window. I do refuse anything that says diva or princess. So far M has had gender neutral toys or W's toys. She has a lot of cars. I let W guide me with what he wanted. He never wanted to play with his soft toys like dolls when he was younger, but wanted to drive cars and trains, so that's what we got. Now he is interested more, so he's getting a doll (a boy doll complete with 'bits'!) for Christmas.

So, expectations - I'm not sure what's meant by that, but if you mean, so I expect her to play with dolls nad him with cars, no. W has always chosen his activities: crafts, cooking, vehicles, running aorund like mad, riding bikes, etc. I expect M will do the same. 

chelbel7

Happy Birthday baby Welsh! 

Ups: I'm feeling well, started my maternity leave, and baby is due next Friday. We'll see when she decides to turn up.  I don't feel like I've had any signs that she is coming.

Downs: Stretch marks! These decided  to show up in the last few weeks.  I'm already insecure about my skin because I have so many moles and now I have stretch marks right in the middle of my stomach (some on my inner thigh but those I can deal with.) Just wish I had got to go a nice beach trip and rock a bikini before, don't see any bikinis in my future now.

QOTW: I feel like both DH and I are anti gender stereotypes.  I've always considered myself to be strong minded and independent and never felt limited by being a girl.  I hope to pass on this confidence to my daughter.  As for toys, colors, etc. whatever she wants or is interested in is fine with me as long as she is kind to others.  

 

frlcb

Happy Birthday M!

Everyone is good here, Lila is waking up way too early but other than that she is great. Finn is 3. Enough said

We have never imposed gender stereotypes, and Finn's favorite colors for a long time have been pink and green. We don't care at all (as opposed to our neighbor, who freaked when his son said his favorite color is pink and he hugged Finn). Our kids are who they are, and placing certain gender stereotypes isn't going to change that.

Saying that, it is amazing to me how Finn has naturally gravitated towards 'boy' things. When he sees pictures of dolls he says they are girl toys and today we were watching a show and a commercial for some princess stuff came on and he said 'Lila would like that' and I asked why and he said it was because it had a castle and princesses and that is for girls. I have never once said that, nor has dh.

I also agree with Welsh, we will steer clear of 'diva' or 'princess' type clothing or toys.

I have more against character based toys than a boy playing with dolls or a girl playing with trucks. I hate disney and stuff like that. 

Shekels831

Ups: We hosted our friends and their baby this weekend at our house. It was nice to see DH be so involved and get so excited about the little guy. One night he rolled over in bed and out of nowhere said "having this baby is going to be the best days of my life".  It was sweet.  LESS THAN 4 WEEKS!!

 Downs: I'm miserably, waddling, uncomfortable, getting out of breath putting on my shoes huge and ready to get this kiddo out of me.

QOTD: I think most of his clothing is too boyish--lots of blue, but then again what really makes a color gender specific?  I'm going to try my damndest to balance allowing my child to express himself regardless of gender restrictions and allowing him to be accepted in society which is very gender specific.  I'm fighting an uphill battle with my dad on this one who insists on making Asher a hunting, fishing, sports, tough guy and any future granddaughters absolute princesses.

Johlise

ups: Had our ultrasound last week, it was so cool to see the baby. Baby had different ideas though and decided that he/she could face my spine the entire time.

downs: I think I may have caught a stomach bug that FIL had as well, yesterday I felt nauseated all day.. ugh, the last thing I want after 10 weeks of morning sickness, and finally feeling much better for a few weeks!

QOTW: How do you feel about the expectations put on kids based on their gender? Do you find yourself following them? For me in general I have high expectations based on their gender. It is part of how we were raised. So as a result we will probably follow them as well.

FayeD

Ups: Baby is dropping and I can breathe! I'm past the safe point, have my insurance admissions paperwork ready, bags are prepped and in the car, and between a couple friends we have someone who can get BabyD to/from school if needed. (And my baby buddy had her baby, early, and he's a healthy and handsome little guy.)

Downs: Still working full-time hours this week. My pelvic area hurts (go figure). Having lots of Braxton-Hicks. Whine, whine, whine.

BabyD is doing pretty good on knowing that there is a baby in mommy's tummy, but baby is coming out and will be sleeping in the new crib. We'll see how it goes when she actually arrives. At school he's behaving for the most part but keeps having trouble with pushing friends. We review with the teachers every day, praising when he is good and reinforcing when he is bad. We talk to him every morning walking into school about being nice, no pushing, using words, etc. Fun, fun.

QOTW: We feel that some gender stereotypes are fine. We'll follow some, ignore others. There are some that we think are ridiculous and want to avoid. But there are others we think are fine and will reinforce. No matter what gender our children are, we have the goal of raising our children to be good adults. So much more to that then gender stereotypes.

welshgirl

frlcb:

Everyone is good here, Lila is waking up way too early but other than that she is great. Finn is 3. Enough said

I hear you there! 

frlcb:

  

I have more against character based toys than a boy playing with dolls or a girl playing with trucks. I hate disney and stuff like that. 

Yes - I actually feel really bad because my BIL apparently searched (Tesco) really hard to avoid princess/diva clothes for M - BUT bought a Minnie Mouse outfit. We're returning it. She won't wear it. I figure if M is 3 and wants a Disney Princess outfit because she likes dressing up or likes princesses that's different - she's come to that (sort of) on her own. I will not tell her that Disney is cool. Ugh.

MouseInLux

Ups: E's being a nice happy girl during the day, talking and playing well. She does great when my Mum looks after her so I can take the pup to school.

Downs: She screamed for the first hour at least of me being away for my Lux lesson this week. Poor DH! I don't know what to do!

QOTD: We try not to get pink things, DH actually just got her a walker (it was on Amazon Warehouse) that's a tool kit, super cool! We really don't want her to feel like the "girl" toys are all there are in the world! 

Johlise

ups: Had our ultrasound last week, it was so cool to see the baby. Baby had different ideas though and decided that he/she could face my spine the entire time.

downs: I think I may have caught a stomach bug that FIL had as well, yesterday I felt nauseated all day.. ugh, the last thing I want after 10 weeks of morning sickness, and finally feeling much better for a few weeks!

QOTW: How do you feel about the expectations put on kids based on their gender? Do you find yourself following them? For me in general I have high expectations based on their gender. It is part of how we were raised. So as a result we will probably follow them as well.

ETA: I should say though, that as far as boys playing with Dolls, or girls playing with lego's, farm toys etc. I don't think that is a problem at all. They just need to know how to act like a lady/gentleman at the appropriate time.

katrina_pharmd

Hi there ladies!

ups: DS is happy and healthy and so close to crawling on all fours vs. commando crawling.  We are going on a short holiday this weekend.

downs: We started our daycare transition session yesterday...a bit tricky b/c of the holidays.  DS did great; this a down for me....it's so hard to let go!

QOTW: I suppose we do put boy expectations on DS, even when we try not to.  I mean, he's a big boy, so everyone assumes that he'll be into trucks and will eventually be an All Black.  He has a lot of gender neutral toys, like blocks and balls and stuffed animals.  He does have a little baby doll he inherited from DH.  We try not to buy him cartoon-based stuff.  I am not a fan of Dora the Explorer or Ni Hao Kai Lan, and I don't want my house to be full of that kind of stuff.

EnidFalcor

Ups: V is walking, saying kind of maybe sort of a word or two but at least vocalizing in that way, and is so very happy. She is sleeping *mostly* all night from start to finish, maybe 4-5 days a week. So that is just amazing, I have a feeling it's a phase before some more teeth and whatnot so I'm enjoying it.

Downs: Free will. She has started doing like limp noodle when she doesn't want to be picked up or going really flaily/crazy when we take something from her. I've written myself some reminders in ways to address early toddler craziness and taped them to the wall because I feel like it's my responsiblity to help her direct herself. That is really exhausting.

QOTD: This question is a huge huge huge point of obsession/stress/frustration for me. I could go on for days. But in general, I really really try to be so cognisant of the way things are marketed to parents/children, the role expectations placed on INFANTS from the start despite best intentions (for example, it's been shown that if you put the same baby in 'boy' clothes vs. 'girl' clothes the boy is 'big' 'strong' etc and the girl is 'precious' 'delicate' 'cute' etc...same baby, different onesie.). V wears pink because it is a color, but she also wears all other colors. For me it's all about finding balance between celebrating differences but not enforcing stereotypes. I'll never do that perfectly but I'll always be doing my best by being mindful. Already because V is quite bold/physical/etc people ahve started saying 'you have a little tomboy there' 'she's like one of the boys' etc and it really really irritates me. She is 13 months old for god's sake, she's not a tomboy or a girly girl or anything more than a baby developing!

I also totally agree about 'Diva' 'Princess' stuff and commercial characters. Here characters are SUPER popular and avoiding it in clothes/toys is quite hard!

rpic81

Hello. I'm a day late here.

Ups: I'm two and a half weeks from maternity leave, and oh my goodness, I can't wait. My baby shower in the states over Thanksgiving also got me extra excited for the baby. I already was, but there was something special about getting to celebrate this with my family. My firends also threw me one here in the UK  and everyone was asked to bring a children's book. We got so many good books for the peanut!

Downs: H and I have both been sick with terrible colds. He's really bad, but fortunately I seem to have gotten something more mild. Other than that, the normal complaints of sore hips and lower back, and I swear I feel so heavy! 

QOTD: Toys, hobbies and whatnot I won't really worry about. I'll let them gravitate to whatever they like. We're having a boy, but even if it was a girl, H and I would be excited to take her hiking and he wants to take them fishing. I do agree with Johslie, though, that at a certain age, they should know how to act like a lady/gentleman.