May 2008 Weddings
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VENT (long...sorry)

I'm frustrated and I know this time next week none of this will matter but I need to vent.

In July, about a month before I had DD, I was up for a promotion/new job. I got offered it over other co-workers who were technically "above" me so it made a few waves, but things got sorted out pretty easily. I was not excited about being a WM but my DH wasn't working for a great company at the time so we had no choice financially. Well, about a week later he got a great job offer, and he started that job before I had DD. He made more money, but we still weren't thinking I'd be able to SAH. While I was on leave, he got an unexpected raise...this made me not having to work possible, but tough. I was relatively excited about my new position and we weren't sure exactly if we could make it work so I came back to work at the end of October. Pretty quickly I realized I 1) had no desire to be away from DD if I didn't have to and 2) while it would be tough, with daycare and gas costs, it's definitely possible for me to SAH. I knew that my one coworker who applied for my new job and didn't get it in July would apply again and likely get it. So I put in my notice last Monday. I knew my boss would be sad/upset, but I thought he'd kind of understand. He doesn't. At all. He won't speak to me, he keeps sending his secretary as a messenger, he wouldn't even give me the time of day when I was putting in my notice and made some smart remark about how he "had" to do interviews now, and seemed upset I was "only" giving him a little more than 2 weeks notice, etc. Also, today I found out the higher-ups are "placing" someone in this position w/o doing interviews so I'm bummed for my other coworker who I thought they'd give the job to, but she seems ok with it. Anyways, I just walked by my mailbox and someone deliberately ripped my name off my mailbox. :( The only person I know who is upset by my leaving is my boss, who has been acting so immature lately. Literally every single other person (I mostly work with moms and grandmas) has come up to me and said they'll miss me but I'm doing the right thing. My boss's behavior just reiterates that this is not a place I want to work while I have a young baby anyways, but I'm hurt. He's always given me great reviews, seemed to really like me, etc. and now I feel like it's come down to I'm choosing my baby over my job. Of course I am! Ugh. Anyways, I just needed to vent..I don't really know how clear I'm even being, there's lots of stuff he has said and done before I was even pregnant that made it clear he's not a family man and has his priorities in the wrong place...but I hate that after spending the last 3.5, almost 4 years here that this is how I'm being treated. I don't feel like I did anything "wrong". I know they're upset I'm leaving, but I couldn't of anticipated any of this happening when I accepted this new job in July. Sigh.

Did I mention I can't wait until the middle of next week when I get to be a SAHM?! ;)

Sorry I XP from TB and that's why the format is all weird. 

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: VENT (long...sorry)

  • :( that sucks. i'm sorry he wasn't more understandnig. unfortunately, some people can't turn off their "business mind" and turn on their "family mind" when they're at work and understand that these are difficult decisions for women.

    you're doing the right thing for you, and that's all that matter :)

    image June 2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Sorry! Stories like that make me grateful for my boss. He is super family oriented and I feel like her really cares for us. He is being super supportive about my surgery too!!

    Congrats on being able to be a SAHM. I don't think that will ever be something Ill be able to do. 

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  • That stinks that he's being such a jerk! I would normally suggest setting up a meeting to discuss with him, but since you only have less that 2 weeks left I'd just ignore him and try to forget about him!
    imageAlways Painted,Usually Chipped Disclaimer - This is not a nail polish blog.
  • yeah, he always says "family first" but he's never demonstrated it...i've heard other people talk crap about him for stuff like this before, but this is the first i've seen of it. @ least i don't have much time left...but now i just worry that i won't be able to use him as a reference when a week or so ago i feel like he would have recommended me in a heartbeat. oh, well.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • i'm excited for you!

    i understand though. it's not fair what he's doing. he probably assumes you used them for maternity leave or something and that you knew all along. that's what everyone assumes when a mom leaves shortly after coming back from maternity leave. but honestly even as a non-mom i know people cannot predict how hard it will be coming back and in your case, the changes that would occur that would allow you to now make that decision. he'll get over it and at least your other coworkers are supportive.

    i hope the next week goes by quickly for you!!

    Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.
  • imageMarylandWed:

    i'm excited for you!

    i understand though. it's not fair what he's doing. he probably assumes you used them for maternity leave or something and that you knew all along. that's what everyone assumes when a mom leaves shortly after coming back from maternity leave. but honestly even as a non-mom i know people cannot predict how hard it will be coming back and in your case, the changes that would occur that would allow you to now make that decision. he'll get over it and at least your other coworkers are supportive.

    i hope the next week goes by quickly for you!!

    yeah, that was my fear. i was super nervous while talking to him so i'm not sure how clear i was, but i tried to make it clear that i loved my job, but my husband's job changed while i was out on leave and made it possible for me to stay at home. gah. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageAKBrideinMD:
    imageMarylandWed:

    i'm excited for you!

    i understand though. it's not fair what he's doing. he probably assumes you used them for maternity leave or something and that you knew all along. that's what everyone assumes when a mom leaves shortly after coming back from maternity leave. but honestly even as a non-mom i know people cannot predict how hard it will be coming back and in your case, the changes that would occur that would allow you to now make that decision. he'll get over it and at least your other coworkers are supportive.

    i hope the next week goes by quickly for you!!

    yeah, that was my fear. i was super nervous while talking to him so i'm not sure how clear i was, but i tried to make it clear that i loved my job, but my husband's job changed while i was out on leave and made it possible for me to stay at home. gah. 

    at least you know you did everything you possibly could have. enjoy the time with your baby!!

     

    Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.
  • thanks guys :) i am very excited to be with her every day!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm sorry that your boss is being such a douche BUT YEAH!!! For getting to be a SAHM!!!
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  • I am sorry your boss is acting like a child over this.  I hope you love being a SAHM!
  • I am so excited for you! I'm sorry you're boss is being such a jerk, but try not to worry about it. Try to prove in your last week that you do still love your job and that you aren't trying to screw them over. Maybe he'll start to understand.
    image
    Welcome to the world Finley Michael - born 2/13/2010 Lilypie Third Birthday tickers pregnancy
    Baby Sister is coming soon!
  • What a yam bag. Congrats on deciding to be a SAHM!
  • i wrote him a really nice thank you card (in addition to a resignation letter he already has) i'm going to give him on my last day thanking him for all the opportunities and that sort of stuff. i hope he gets the point.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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