Ignore the OP for a moment.

ReturnOfKuus · December 2011

Read this thread:

http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/60999759.aspx

Does anyone else think that swimbikepuke needs to get her tukhus over here?

ReturnOfKuus · December 2011

For the eventual delete, from SBP:

I don't have any words of wisdom, but I am so very sorry that you are going through this. This is sort of a worst case scenario for a marriage ending - where one person falls out of love. It breaks my heart for you. I suppose because it is also my worst fear for my own marriage. Probably it is a lot of people's worst fear.

Honestly, I have no advice. I don't know what to tell you. He has changed and you haven't. It's not like you changed and he doesn't like you. He wanted you to be someone other than what you were when you got married and that's really not fair. It goes to the "you signed on for this" thing that DH and I throw at each other usually playfully, but there's a reality to it to. You can't marry someone who is shy, or quiet and then demand that they be a social butterfly. You can't marry someone who prefers books to marathons and then get mad at them when they don't want to join your running group. It's simply not fair.

The flip side is, he's obviously at a place where he wants to go in a direction you don't want to go in. If you force yourself down that road and contort yourself to be what he says he needs you to be, will you really be happy? If you were 125 pounds and going to every social event your husband requested of you, would YOU be happy?

Also, there's a flag on the field with the "you can't meet my new friends" stuff. That's no joke. There have been two times when DH has hidden a friendship from me, and I nipped that shits in the bud. Absolutely nothing else is on the table for negotiation until that issue is delt with

Are you sure he's being honest with you about who the people are (and their gender).

As for inviting only one half of a couple - never ever ever. It is against the rules. I know people think me and my rules are stupid, but I firmly believe that if you are a woman and you are friends with a man who is in a relationship, you MUST include the SO in all your plans. If she excludes herself, that's fine. But invitations have to be to both people, phone messages have to be "Hi Dave and Karen, it's Jane." and if she answers the phone and you want to talk to him, it "Hi Karen, it's Jane. Is Dave around. I've got a question for him about work." Anything less than that is completely inappropriate.

If you think the relationship is worth the effort, plan a dinner party at your house and invite the two co-workers. WIth the first "friend-who-is-a-girl" that my H had, I finally told him that he was not allowed to hang out with her alone until he introduced her to me. We went out as a group twice, the three of us, and it was painfully awkward. It was also the end of that friendship, which was FINE with me.