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Sleeping arrangements when visiting family for holidays
When we visit his family for the holidays, or anytime, my MIL makes us sleep in separate rooms. I always end up sleeping on an air mattress on the floor in his sister's room while he sleeps in his old bedroom. The air mattress is really uncomfortable. There are two single beds in his old bedroom! I'd be content sleeping in one of the single beds, at least we'd be in the same room! But that's not permitted by his mother because the other bed is where his brother is supposed to sleep but his brother always sleeps on the couch! When we are planning our visit, I always suggest to him that we stay in a hotel so we can sleep in the same bed but he insists we stay at his mom's house so he has more time to visit. My response is that we can spend all day with them but when its time to go to sleep, we leave his mom's house and go to a hotel to sleep! This year I suggested that I stay in a hotel and he stay at his moms. He got upset and thinks I don't want to spend time with his family, but that's not it. The way I see it, if I'm not going to be able to sleep in the same room with him at his mom's house, I may as well sleep in a hotel where I'll be comfortable.
Am I being unreasonable?
Re: Sleeping arrangements when visiting family for holidays
No, you are not being unreasonable. Married people should sleep together unless there are extreme circumstances.
Your problem is a DH problem. You need to TELL him that you are sleeping on a bed, either in his mom's house, or at a hotel. There is no reason why you can't sleep in the same room as your H, and his brother sleeps on an air mattress somewhere else in the house - after all, you are a guest (and a female)! If he starts b*tching and moaning that you don't like his family, tell him that he needs to find a solution to the problem that works for you (and your aching back). And tell him if you REALLY hated his family you would be staying home in your own bed, and you're not suggesting that.
Your MIL is being ridiculous and in turn your DH is being ridiculous.
I agree with pp, TELL your husband you will be sleeping in a bed and it's up to him if he wants to discuss it with his Mum, or you will book a hotel room for yourself.
No, you are absolutely not being unreasonable. Your MIL is being unreasonable thinking it is okay for you to be sleeping somewhere not with your husband.
I think you should put your foot down and insist on staying in the same room as him.
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."- Aristotle
Oh he'll no. If either my DH or MIL thought that it was ACCEPTABLE to separate a married couple, then there would be hell to pay with BOTH.
No, it would not be a discussion, it would be a command - "I sleep in a bed, period".
How long are you there? Is your MIL reasonable except for this one thing?
Yes, it's weird but It just doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me to upset both your husband and your MIL.
Even if the beds are taken up by other people and you two have to share the air mattress, that makes way more sense than different rooms. I always put married people together somehow. I also would tell them if an air mattress in the living room is the only option.
I assume BIL is not married. I would think that once you and H married, you would take over both beds in H's old room and BIL sleeps on the air mattress (not necessarily in SIL's room). It sounds like BIL sleeping on the couch means BIL agrees and is giving up his bed for you. Family structure and dynamics change, especially with a marriage.
MIL has control issues IMO. DH needs to grow a pair. I would stay home, and the hotel option is more than reasonable because it puts no one at an inconvenience.
Or tell MIL, "How do expect a grandchild if we aren't together...?"
<a href="http://s941.photobucket.com/albums/ad259/laurens1122-bfp/?action=view
Are you married? Although you wrote "MIL", I don't see the word "husband" anywhere in there... and I know people who consider boyfriends' parents to be "in-laws". If you're married, you're completely in the right.
If my suspicion is correct and you are not married, then his mom is completely within her rights to enforce a sleeping separate arrangement under her roof.
Thanks for sharing this useful info regarding family holidays!!!
Well, if it is just for a day or a two then you should try to adjust with the situation, after all he is your husband. One can sacrifice their lives for their dear ones, you just have to sleep on a mattress. But, you must have proper words with your husband and his mother about your problem and if your husband is compelled of doing the same then understand his emotions and try to adjust with that. I am sure this will definitely gonna increase the bonding between you guys.