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Angry Lady Vent!
FML. I hate my husband right now. Woke up this morning, talked to my MIL (he has a warrant for arrest for not paying a freaking traffic ticket!!!) which he found out yesterday and didn't tell me. He said he, "forgot". What the f@ck ever buddy! Ugh! Also I needed to get a new auto insurance policy and now I can't enroll with any company until he has his licences reinstated. So no car insurance for me. And the reason I need to get a differnt insurance company is because my last one dropped us b/c he "forgot" to pay the bill!!!!!!!!!
I take odd jobs left and right (even on x-mas and new years this year) in addition to the two other jobs I work and going to school. And he can't even get a full-time job to support us. He only works 26-25 hrs./ week. and doesn't go to school.
I'm so frustrated with him! I have lost all respect for him. He is such a child. I really don't know how much more of his bullshit I can take. We started seriously talking about having a baby lately. That is so not even a conservation now.
Anyway that is all. Just had to rant somewhere.
Re: Angry Lady Vent!
Why is he still handling the finances?
Yes, I know, you are short on time but he is short on brain cells, so take the checkbook because dealing with things not getting paid takes more time than just handling them yourself.
Make sure your birth control is on lock down. Do not even think about procreating with this loser. Why did you marry him in the first place?
Can't you just get insurance for yourself?
He sounds a lot like my ex-husband. Ex.
I am really sorry you are going through this. Just a question or two...
a.) Please tell me you aren't driving without insurance? That could REALLY suck for you and anyone you get into an accident with. Also, if you get pulled over in some states you could go to jail for not having any insurance. How are you getting to and from work?
b.) Your H seems to do a lot of "forgetting". Is he really forgetting or just being irresponsible. If he is forgetting so much he needs to see a doctor. I'm not being snarky about that. He could have some medical issues. If he isn't really forgetting and just being an irresponsible A-hole, that is another story.
c.) For the love of christ don't have a baby! I'm not saying not EVER but I am saying that this kind of shits needs to get ironed out or at least on the way to ironed out before you introduce a child to the mix. The last thing you need is to be stranded without a car, no money to buy diapers or formula and no food in the house because homeboy "forgot". Please put off TTC until you get a handle on this business. I know you said its "not even a consideration" (which is sensible), but I just had to outline that point.
Rant away-- I would get to a counselor and see if you all can work these issues out.
I'm just gonna flat out not have sex with him. He disgusts me right now.
I can't get a policy if he has a suspended licence, not in Mich. anyways. You HAVE to have your spouse on there.
I love my husband ( I don't no why) but he is a fu@king idiot. I've locked myself off in our spare bedroom and he's cleaning the house, like that's gonna make me feel better or forgive him?! This is *** he should be doing everyday. Ridiculous.
I have no idea what I'm going to do.
Withholding sex is dirty pool. I'm not saying that you should be rarin' to go in the sack, but that is immature. Using sex and intimacy as a weapon will backfire and is never a good idea.
As is locking yourself in a room as opposed to actually talking through it. Yes, he should help you with chores on a regular basis, but its equally ridiculous that you are behaving like a child instead of actually confronting the problem head on.
What you should do is sit down have a come-to-jesus with him about all of this. Otherwise it will fester.
"b.) Your H seems to do a lot of "forgetting". Is he really forgetting or just being irresponsible. If he is forgetting so much he needs to see a doctor. I'm not being snarky about that. He could have some medical issues. If he isn't really forgetting and just being an irresponsible A-hole, that is another story. "
I offered to take him to the Dr. about a year and a half ago if his forgetting was really him actually not being able to remember things. He declined. He was in a car accident where he fell asleep at the wheel and hit a construction worker. I had a down payment on a house saved about $16,000 which ALL went to dealing with the aftermath. He didn't have any head injuries in the accident. And he kind of acted like a douche before so I'm sure it's nothing health related, he is just an ***.
This doesn't answer the question. We get that you can't get an insurance policy because of this. What was asked is how you're getting to and from work if you're not insured.
Dump this azzhole. He is going to drag you down with him (he already has). He doesn't sound worth the total ruin of your life.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
You two need to have a come to jesus talk about being more responsible. Both of you. I mean really, a warrant out for his arrest because he "forgot', and you find out from your MIL?!?
If you have no plans to leave him then you better come up with a serious plan about handling shiit, starting with him getting either another job, or a full time job.
Completely agree. I just need sometime away from him to calm down so I can make sense when I actually talk to him.
I have infertility issues so the chances of me getting pregnant w/o fertility drugs is slim ( I haven't even had a period since August) but IF we do have sex condoms are a must.
DTMFA. Wow, just....wow. He's a loser. Complain all you want, but that's not going to change him into something he's not.
He just got his license officially suspended this AM.
My MIL has been kind enough to pay this overdue ticket plus fees just a few minutes ago. I'm just waiting for the payment to clear and then contact the DVM, get a reinstatement letter and fax it over to the insurance.
I won't be driving anywhere.
Agreed. And DTMFA
And with that, your H is scum. I'm hoping the road worker survived and has a reasonable quality of life.
My dad's best friend was a road worker killed on the job. 43 years old, married to his high school sweetheart and had 13 year old twin boys... killed by a 17 year old who was just too damn important to slow down in a work zone.
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi#general
I hate to say it, but it sounds like his mommy has done a LOT of cleaning up his messes. He doesn't have to suffer consequences so he continues to behave in a way that will create more mess. Your MIL was doing something kind, but in the end not very helpful for him or you. Your H should have to work to pay his mother back and try to keep his nose clean.
In the meantime, I understand that you would need to get to work. Its good that you are getting the insurance thing worked out so that you can get your ducks in a row.
Also, another little question-- or I guess its a big one-- what is keeping you in the marriage? I know you love him, but this type of behavior will wear you down to the point that love won't matter one bit. You can love someone but sometimes you can deal with their shits.
Was he an irresponsible man-child when you met and married him?
Dude, holy moly. I've been trying to give this woman's husband the benefit of the doubt, but I think what is done is done. I think your best bet, OP, is to get your ducks in a row so you can be free of this mess of a man.
It sounds like this marriage is just a huge drain on you emotionally and financially. Your husband needs serious help and unfortunately I don't think you can be the one to give it to him. You don't just fall asleep randomly unless you have a health issue that needs to be addressed. The fact that he refuses to take care of himself is a battle that you can win. He has to WANT to get help.
I really hope that construction worker was able to recover sufficiently to have a good quality of life. Wow. Just wow.
Everyone here needs help. Shiit, I think *I* need help after just reading it all.
He was great when we first got married. He was good with money. In the service but had a medical discharge. And did everything for me. I don't know what happened. I guess he just doesn't care enough about me to want to help anymore.
This is actually the first time his family has ever paid for anything. We are definitely going to pay her back. I hate borrowing money from people. Nobody else has money either and I never ask anyone for charity.
Fuss took the words right out of my mouth. This is a fvcked up situation.
And the more she updates, the worse it gets.
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi#general