Military Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Anniversary
Today is mine and DH's first anniversary. All I asked for was a really nice email, from the heart. He's still deployed and told me not to send anymore packages so I didn't want him giving me anything when I cant give him anything. He called me this morning and posted something on his fb page but no email. I didn't realize it was such a chore for him to send an email. I know I'm being overly sensitive but I wish he would try a little harder.
Re: Anniversary
When MH is deployed I value phone calls more than emails. Hearing his voice makes my world right. Maybe he thought you would like a phone call more? I'm sure it wasn't intentional
Hugs to you.
TTC Since Summer 2011
BFP #1 11/5/11 EDD 7/22/12 MC 11/14/11
PGAL/PAL Always Welcome
If it makes you feel any better, I had something similar happen this week. I was hoping for a quick response to an email, but he didn't email. He posted on FB, so I got sad. He called me not long after that. I talked to him about it and he said he knew I was stressed and that talking through my situation together was better than email. He was right. I would have preferred a heads up that he'd at least read my email and wasn't shrugging it off, and now he knows for next time.
Fortunately in the grand scheme of miscommunications, this is an easy one to work through. It does sound like he thinks the phone call was more effort and more special than the email. It's okay to feel differently, it just sounds like he doesn't know how you feel. I recommend bringing up the lack of gifts at a separate time so he doesn't feel like he's doing everything wrong. Good luck. Communication can be tough when you're dealing with time zone differences and particularly on days you really miss each other. Hang in there.
Thank you, that did make me feel a little better.
This is really good advice.
Happy anniversary! I hope that you feel better about this by tomorrow. Deployments suck.
What ojo said.
Plus, it's a 1st anniversary. You guys don't have established traditions yet. He may not know whether you prefer voice or email. Add in that it's your 1st deployment (right?), and you guys haven't figured out yet how to handle the lack of communication and how to work around it.
If he's anything like DH, it sounds like he tried to "one up" the e-mail request by actually letting you hear his voice. It also really sounds like he's not getting too excited yet because he's waiting on the delayed celebration that you two will be having later.
Also, for what it's worth, there's a book that gets mentioned every so often on this board called "The Five Love Languages." Essentially, people have different ways of showing/feeling loved. If yours is receiving gifts then you may want to go out of your way to explain to your husband that those little gifts mean a lot to you and you'd like to still receive them.
Actually I read it before DH and I got married (my grandma insisted). I'm beginning to doubt what my love language is, and I tried to get DH to read it as well but he prefers his "For Dummies" books.
I mentioned to him that I really wanted the email and was a little disappointed when I didn't see it. So he sent one shortly after. Its not what I was expecting but I appreciated it. Although I have reasons to believe the first paragraph in his email came from a quote he found online... the grammar and spelling was perfect, which for him is very unusual.
When my DH was deployed, he called every day. It was great to hear from him, but details, over cell phones, were scant. I asked him, multiple times to send an email every now and then. He'd try, but his job kept him tied to the computer much of the day. When his work day was over, the last thing he wanted to do was recap his day via email. So, I adjusted my expectations. I was fortunate to receive frequent and consistent phone calls. Being deployed is hard on everyone.
As for the gifts and flowers. . . I thought I wanted flowers, until DH sent some to me and I layer saw the charge on our bank statement. No more flowers, TYVM. Those suckers are expensive!
Again, I'm sorry that you are disappointed, but your DH is deployed and he's trying.
I'm not trying to be rude because I feel for your situation. I understand. But you are coming across very nit-picky and hard to please. Maybe cutting him a little slack would help?
I couldn't agree more. Cut him some slack and celebrate when he gets home.
You can't tell him to not send/get you anything and then be upset that he didn't shower you with flowers and jewels. My H wouldn't have posted to his FB about it, which to me would have been a really sweet gesture just because it's not something he would typically do because he's not big on FB. A phone call would be wonderful, and an email would be a good backup if he couldn't call, but I'd prefer to hear his voice for our anniversary.
He's obviously trying, maybe just give him credit for what he did.