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Nothing else to do on Monday night?
Angi is working late ... again. I know a lot of you work overtime and/or have partners that work a lot. I just have to say that I hate it. I miss my wife and am so bored being home by myself. She is terribly entertaining. Plus she gives me something to do. I like to dote on her. Her work as an artist is so physical and she just needs to relax at home. My work all day is tedious so I am more than happy to do something creative when I get home. Some of the wonderful things about being married are having someone to cook for, save recordings on the dvr of shows to watch together, giving head rubs, taking baths together and getting into crisp sheets, just to push all your cold parts up to them.?
I'd make a damn good housewife, but only if I had kids to care for while my wife is away. Being home alone is fine on a Sunday morning when I am rested and willing to clean and dance in my sweats. Monday nights are another thing.
Do you relish your time alone? Would you make a better housewife than 9 to 5-er? In this economy and culture where we still make less than men and being middle class requires two incomes to keep a home afloat, staying home may be a luxury few of us will ever know. But maybe to you it's a trap. Having work that is fulfilling and relevant can be empowering and dignifying.
I'm still rambling. I ate salad for dinner ... on the couch. I hate that. But I can't seem to make myself sit at the table for a meal alone. Maybe that's the mark of a married woman. Do you make proper meals for yourself when your partner is away?
Gah. I'm talking about her like she went to Brazil or something. It's only 8 p.m. here. I'll live.
But I'd be happier if I got a ramble or two from you to keep me occupied.?
Happy Monday!?
Re: Nothing else to do on Monday night?
i just came home from a hockey game to an empty house. c is once again back on third shift, so she couldn't go with me. i'm up until who knows when working on homework and reading and writing stories until i'm exhausted so that i can drag myself off to bed and our cold sheets. i think that's the worst part for me, having to go to bed alone. although i usually have a cat or two to keep me warm, it's just not the same as my wife snuggling in behind me and putting her arm around me, holding my hand and giving me a little squeeze before we drift off. and i mean that in the most innocent of ways.
in the morning i'll be sitting at my desk at work by the time she gets home, unless i oversleep (which happens more frequently than i'd like to admit). my sleep is so restless, although i often drive myself into exhastion, and i can never seem to wake in the mornings. even if i manage to get a full night of rest i still can't wake easily. maybe i should start programing the coffeemaker, rather than waiting until i get to work to have a cup. i read recently that just smelling coffee wakes you up and makes you more alert. then again, maybe it's not the best idea to fill the house with that lovely smell for her to come home to. she'd never get any rest.
i will openly admit that i would make a terrible housewife. i can't cook and get too distracted to be productive when left to my own devices. we go the the grocery and i--hey, what's that? i can barely manage to keep things tidy, which drives my wife nuts. i'm trying to be better. every time i leave a room i take something with me. or i try to. sometimes i forget. we get so caught up in everything going on, and then when she's gone i have to catch up on my own things so i don't get as much done outside of my head and my computer as i would like.
dinner in our house is almost always eaten on the couch, and almost always late. we talk, watch a show, and when we're done eating our food and drinking our glasses of milk we cuddle. most of the time. unless we don't, which is usually when one of us is feeling a little grumpy. which is, honestly, often me.
i like having some time alone, and it's helpful for my focus that she's not here--if she was i'd get too distracted--but when i'm done the house feels oh so lonely, and that is oh so different from alone.
I totally feel your pain here. Danielle and I are infamous for being inseperable. We always go out together. Lately, I have been having lots of schoolwork to do and she has been at the bar with friends like 3 times a week. It is driving me crazy. By the time she comes home, I am in bed and don't even get to see her. It has been causing some friction in our lives and I just don't know how to fix it! I always like a good party, but feel myself settling down and wanting a quieter life (while planning for our family future) while she is feeling the opposite. It kind of frightens me, bc I feel when we do decide to start a family, I will be at home with the baby every night while she is at the bar till midnight...
BlueDaisy, I am so proud of you and C for making your marriage work. You both obviously care about each other and have such strength between you to be flexible and understanding. It's got to be so hard, but I can tell it's also so good.?
I heard the thing about the smell of coffee too. Maybe a cup of beans in the bathroom to smell first thing? Can we call that aromatherapy??
Over the past 3 years (since moving here) I've spent a ton of time alone. K needs to study and I understand that, but sometimes it's really hard. On occasion I feel like I talk to the dogs more than I do her. It has gotten much better this school year and she is much more aware of our lack of time together. For example this past Sunday I wanted to go find a pumpkin and she told me I should just take the dogs and go, because she had too many papers to grade. Who wants to go to a pumpkin patch alone? I started crying and she realized all I wanted was a few hours of her time. So together (with the dogs) we went and found our pumpkin. Then when we returned home I helped grade her students' tests. Those are the types of compromises we've become good at.
Now that I'm working 2nd shift I get to play semi-housewife and I like it. I don't think I'm doing my best at but the house is clean, dogs walked (most days) and trash taken out. I find myself thinking of this time before I start another day job as a sort of vacation. So although I probably could do alot more major projects around the house, I'm sticking to the basics.
i would LOVE to be a housewife - but as the breadwinner that will never be in the cards for me.
I am very much an introvert and cherish my time alone, especially my time alone in my house. Andrea works much more outstide of the house than I do (between her 40 hour job and coaching) - I'm always home before her in the afternoon, home alone all day thursday, and often home alone when she works on saturday. i dont mind it, but it sounds like i'm not home alone quite as much as some of you ladies (ie. she's usually home by 6:30-7ish during the week).
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
Since I am a teacher I get home hours before Sue (except when I nanny 2x a week) I love my time between 2-5. I have to be "on" all the time at work so I am all talked out by the end of the day and need some time to unwind. I generally don't answer the phone even during this time. I do like it when my wife comes home at 5ish so I can have dinner on the table and we can check in about our days. I hate it when she has to work late and I am alone with the pets all night. I really like my wife so I miss her when she is not home in the evening. Since I often have work in the evenings and esp. on the weekends S is great and helps me correct if she can and also enters all my grades in my grade book on the computer. This is very helpful. We often go to our fav. lesbian coffee shop to correct. this way as she waits for me to be done S can look at the cute ladies and I can feel like I did something fun eventhough I was working all afternoon on a sat.
As for being a house wife. Some parts of the job I am really good at. Cooking and grocery shopping others not so much. Cleaning (my nick name is pig pen) I kind of get the best of both worlds since I have my summers off I guess I am a "seasonal" house wife. Since I bring in the larger salary I don't think I ever will be a full time house wife. I wish I (or Sue) could stay home with our future kids but I don't think it is in the cards.
I really miss having alone time. In 2.5 years I have been alone in our house 3 times (for no more than 2 hours.) Because we have a nanny for our kids, the kids and L are always home when I get home (I go in later for work, L comes home earlier to let our nanny go) (don't get me wrong, I ADORE our children, but it also means the only down time I get is in my car during my commute.)
For the first 5 years of our relationship one of both of us were in school so we had at least one night a week when the other was in class. I loved it. It gave me one night to do what I wanted, watch whatever I wanted on tv, and have some "me" time. I miss it. L will be taking another class next semester so even though I'll be home with the kids from 8:30-10:30 I'll have some alone time (the kids go to bed around 8:30.) I am looking forward to it.
Oh, and I would be a horrible housewife or SAHM. I feel like a horrible mom for saying it, but we are all much happier when I can get out and work.
Sarah - you sound like me! You would think after 5 years of being with an accountant (well, 4 - she was a student when we met
) I'd be used to the long hours. Well, I'm not!
I do like some alone time to catch up on blog reading and watch things on DVR that C doesn't like - but I really only need a little and then I'm ready to have my wife back! With my new Nanny job, I am home MUCH earlier than C, which is great for being able to get our grocery shopping, laundry washing and errand running done - but on nights that she works later it gets lonely.
As for housewivery - that's my bag, baby. While I am not at all the most talented chef, I enjoy running our home/life more than anything else. I am NOT a 9-5er. Cecilia is a very career-oriented person - her work is a big part of who she is, which is absolutely wonderful (somebody's got to make some money around here!), but sooo not me. I very much look forward to being a SAHM and doing all this domestic stuff full time one day soon - this Nanny job has given me a taste and I like it!
Oh, and if C's not going to be home for dinner - I have cereal. Or ice cream.
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer