International Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WWIND? TTC related and Xmas
DH and I have been TTC while now, and have recently undergone testing. His SA was normal, and we find out about me tomorrow. I O'ed early than normal this cycle, CD 14 as opposed to CD 20 confirmed with two OPKs and my CBFM.
That means I will find out if we are successful around the 27th, 28th. We live in London and will be in the US. I wanted to wait until the end of the first tri to announce, but the thought of being able to tell my parents in person and a few very close friends who know we are TTC in the US.
So would you tell? I am very hopefully as my early O was on our 5th wedding anniversary, so maybe that was a good omen.
Thanks, ladies!
Re: WWIND? TTC related and Xmas
I hope this is your lucky cycle! We told my parents 3 days after my bfp because they were planning a trip to visit us when I was going to be around 20 weeks and I wanted to at least let them decide whether they wanted to wait until after the baby got here (they ended up coming around 20 weeks and after DD got here). I also figured that if I had a m/c I would tell them anyway, so there was no real point in keeping it a secret from them. Since I believe in the power of prayer, I wanted our close family praying for us as well. We told DH's parents, siblings, and grandmothers at around 7 weeks for the same reasons. We announced to all friends after 1st tri and I finally put something on FB after about 20 weeks.
Since the main reason people wait to announce is that they don't want to have to "untell" when they have a m/c, I don't see why not to announce earlier to those you would want to support you in that situation.
In short - do what you want!! Don't worry about what other people think about when to announce. If you want to see your family's reaction in person, then you have every right to! And again -- good luck, I'm rooting for this to be your cycle!!
I think esp. with all the BS you are getting from them I would tell them. Then if anything goes wrong they can support you, plus they will know you are having issues so they can be more supportive.
Bio
Sending you good vibes!!!
Telling is totally up to you and your DH. Pretty personal choice. Some pros either way you choose.
I would not tell. Partly because I wouldn't be ready to tell anyone. I'd rather share some time with DH. Talk about some things before being inundated with questions. Be elated, excited, and even a bit anxious together.
Another part of not telling would be because I would not be ready for everyone to know. We love our family but they are not known for keeping their mouths shut. Our first pregnancy, they were literally racing each other (and us, at a disadvantage of calling from overseas) to call relatives first. This pregnancy it was a race to post online. See my post below about MIL spreading things. When my brother got married he wasn't telling where their honeymoon was because they wanted privacy. My mom lasted less than 24-hours after the wedding before caving to the "pressure" of others wanting to know. I love my friends but there's only one I trust to not tell either on purpose or, for most of them, accidentally. Basically, we don't tell until we're ready for it to be truly public.
Really, really crossing my fingers for you. I'm out this cycle so I'll send all my baby dust your way.
Personally, I wouldn't tell but that's just because of how absolutely horrible the untelling was. Everyone you tell is going to tell someone else and it just becomes a bit overwhelming when you realise how many people know something so personal. BUT... I'm in a different situation than most people and usually everything is fine and it would be special to tell people in person.
Keep us posted :-)
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
I would wait, but the idea of telling my parents in person is huge. I don't know, I don't even know if we will have this opportunity. But I was thinking about it today. We have money set aside to go back to tell people in person.
I don't know, hopefully I will have this problem!! :-)
We tell just our parents when we find out, because they would be our support.
A friend of mine just m/c a few weeks ago and they had not told their parents and wished they did because they needed them for support so had to explain what was going on while in hospital.
With that said it is up to you and whether they would be supportive or the untelling would be worse.
I would absolutely love to have been able to tell my parents in person, so I vote tell them. I agree - it's huge to me, nad my parents would be my support as well. Would they blab to other people or keep a secret? If they'll keep it a secret, then you could wait to tell everyone else at 13ish weeks...
Good luck and baby dust your way!!
We told our parents early with both our kids, like within days of finding out. I have had a few friends who have had m/c tell us they wanted the support (I realize this is personal) and I agree, I could never keep something like that from my parents either. But both of our parents are good about not sharing with anyone else.
I hope this is it for you!
Baby dust coming your way!
I would probably not tell, but that's because of the kind of relationship I have with my parents. Were that any different, I would tell provided I'd know for sure that they'd keep their mouths shut. (Which is why my dad won't hear about a possible future pregnancy of mine until about 2 minutes until I tell the rest of the world. He cannot keep a secret for the life of him.)
My food blog
What I'm looking forward to in 2012:
Eating our way through (northern) Italy on vacation
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DIt depends on your relationship with your parents, but I would definitely tell. I loved being able to tell my mom in person and I wouldn't want to miss out on that. Plus, if something had happened, I would have told her and she would have been a source of support for me.
Also, LOTS of baby dust!!!!!
If it were me I would tell. I told my parents and sisters within a day of getting my BFP. I was too excited (and shocked, since minibini was a surprise baby) to keep my mouth shut.
And actually, even though we all live pretty close, I told them over the phone. That's how impatient I was I guess
A big group of my family was in town when I was around 7 weeks, so I just told them cause it was AWESOME to tell them in person - I never thought I'd get to do that!
I just asked them to not tell anyone else (well, of course we told the ILs though too)
Then we did the official announce to every else (friends) when we hit 12 weeks & all was well
I told my parents at 8 weeks, and asked them to keep it a secret until after our 12 week scan. My MIL found out by eavesdropping on our conversation about being scared and nervous right after we found out, and she blabbed to her friends - it spread like wildfire around our small town, and we had people congratulating us that we didn't know.
I'd have killed for the opportunity to tell my parents in person.
I'd tell. It's great to share good news in person! My mom was an amazing source of support after my miscarriage. I did not share the news with others the second time around, just our parents and my best friends who I knew would be there for me if I miscarried again.
sending lots of baby dust!
I tell my parents everything so blabbed to them as soon as I found out both times.
Considering you'll be home I would tell yours. Good luck!
Thanks, ladies. You have given me a lot to think about. I realise I am putting the cart before the horse and I hope to have this problem, but I also want to know what I am going to do before ahead of time.
Thanks for the baby dust, I need it!
A bit late but I hope you get to have this problem :-)
It's a very personal thing. I wouldn't. My MIL wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut and both her & my mother would never be off the phone/out of our house.
Late but writing to add, good luck.
Since you guys would really like to be able to share in-person, I say, go for it.
Very unlikely, worst case scenario, if complications arise, as pps have said, it's nice to have some add'l support. I'm an extremely private person (no one believes b/c I'm outgoing, but about personal things, I'm really, really private... like it borders on clinical).
I didn't tell my family right off the bat, but, sadly, when we had bad news, I did 'untell' my parents and sister. They were really awesome-- very supportive without being overbearing or saying stupid sh!t. My pregnancy was ectopic and the physical process/recovery took a very long time (approx 4mos). I was pretty down and while H was wonderfully supportive I found it comforting to talk w/ my Mom and sister.
I don't mean to be depressing... odds of such a thing happening are SO remote and I don't think it's healthy to dwell on worst case scenarios. I only bring it up to say, even having NOT told, when I had to deal with that sadness, I did tell, so it wouldn't have made a difference if I had told initially. Hope that makes sense.
More importantly, best of luck with everything.
Just thought some more about this and am thinking I might have given bad advice. I'm just in a bad place with this right now so it's hard to remember that most of the time, it all works out exactly as it should. People should get to share in the awesome moments of your life when they can and I think it would be really special to share in person. I didn't tell anyone not to spread the news around and I regret that just because there were people who knew that I didn't even know knew (huh, that's a sentence!) and then I had the super awkward times of untelling people who shouldn't have known in the first place. So I think it's totally reasonable to tell the people you are closest to when you're with them!
Really, really hoping it's your month!!!!
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks