Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Online Dating Tips?
I just recently joined a dating site. What do you ladies do to "vett" a potential date before you meet them? Any particular red flags you watch for?
Also, it seems like after one or two emails they want to text. Is this normal? I don't know it I want to give out my number to these guys I don't really know yet. I have turned down a couple and asked to just email for a while. One told me it was odd that I wouldn't text. Thoughts?
Re: Online Dating Tips?
I think there is a way to "safe talk" where you could communicate with them but they don't know your number. I would be cautious about giving out your phone number.
I don't normally have a list of red flags to look for but sometimes what they say in their profile can be very telling. One guy looked attractive so I clicked on his profile. Upon reading further he sounded like a pompous assshat. He went on and on about how women should smell a certain way and look a certain way (ie thin). It was disgusting.
I certainly try and get as much information as possible about him before I meet him (for example: where he works-does it check out, etc.). The dates that I've had, I'm able to Google him before I meet up with him. Yes, that's not fool proof, but at least I want to make sure there story checks out, etc. If I have their first/last name and can't find anything about them through online? That makes me a little sketched out and I find that weird. Maybe that's weird of me, but whatever.
I have a "generic" email address I give out until they give me their information enough to check them out or if they give me their email with a first/last name, etc. I think you just kind of get a "feeling" about them as well if they share certain info, etc. If there is anything sketch or creepy initially, then no thanks. Trust your instincts.
I'm OK with giving out my number early on. I mean, it's a cell phone # that isn't linked to much. It doesn't tie back to my current address anyways, even if they somehow find that? (though I'm "unlisted") If they're willing to get a background report on my phone #, etc...then I have bigger issues to worry about. I guess it's like meeting a guy at a bar...I'm fine with giving out my #, but only after they give me theirs.
Also, once I have established that we're going to meet up, I only meet them out at a public location and I make sure my gilfriends know when/where we are meeting and give them his full name and contact info just in case. My one friends husband is a cop, and I always let her know about the dates information, etc. so I figure I have good backup just in case. I text my friends at the end of the date to let them know I got home safely, etc.
Personally, I don't sign up for online dating services to be pen pals with people so I can see how men would find it odd that you want to email for so long. I figure, I've had great emails and no chemistry or attraction in person and I've had terrible emails and really clicked in person. To me, its better to meet sooner rather than later so I don't waste my time on a potential that is not going anywhere.
I also have a generic email (sn @ gmail.com) so they don't have my full name off the bat. I'm a crazy Google stalker and will not meet someone who doesn't give me their full name. Some won't because they want to keep their life private--this is a red flag to me because no one is THAT important that they can't tell you their name. It weeds out the arrogant and paranoid crowd. I use whitepages.com to see who they live with (some men are married and looking for a fling) and Google to see if their general story checks out (ex. where they work). I also Google their screenname to find out what other dating sites or forums they post on--some are on sketchy websites like Adult Friend Finder and use the same sn.
I live with my parents so I always tell my mom when I'm going out and give her their name and number and tell her where I will be. I call on the way home to let her know to expect me and that things went well. Always meet in a public place.
Dating online is a tough task and I would recommend to be careful while making a relation online as there are so much frauds and scams are going on over internet.
Matchmaking services