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I've just been flamed for the first time and wow

I can't believe I have just been flamed and properly flamed.

http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61529155.aspx

Essentially, someone asked if you would give play stations and their respective games to kids that need assistance.  I replied not that I would focus on the essentials -- football and soccer balls, board games, clothes -- as opposed to games as I only have a certain amount of money to spend each month and charities need help as donations are down and the percentage of monies spent on direct charitable activities is decreasing.

Wow... This is a new experience for me.

Oh and in case it get deleted here it is:

**coffee&cream, MC2Mommy, ochemjenn, amamba**

 And all you other money grubbing little twatts.

Seriously?  Just seriously? 

Why in the hell are you so judgmental and such azzholes with regards to people asking for "too much" or not deserving financial help during the holidays?

Go yourselves.  You are shittty, nasty, cheap little souls who will hopefully need such help one day and find no one around to give it. 

  

Re: I've just been flamed for the first time and wow

  • I gotta say I agree with most of the posters in the OP. You're attitude DID come across as "Don't these kids realize that because they were born to poor parents they should aspire to play with chunks of coal and to wear cheap polyester tat from Primark??? Only kids with money should wish for nice things at Christmas!"
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  • I think the language used towards you was pretty harsh but I have to say the sentiment is one I have to agree with. This is a kids wish list, not a needs list. I wouldn't choose something completely off their list just because you don't agree with what they ask for.
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  • I agree with the others--perhaps the language was harsh but I disagree with what you wrote.  These are kids and they deserve to want whatever their little hearts desire.  It's Christmas and kids who have "nothing" have it hard enough--why not have this day make their lives a little easier?

    I volunteer at a battered women's shelter with the children.  On Tuesday, you know what was on each of their wish lists when I was there?  An iPhone or an iPad.  Will they get it? No, but that doesn't mean a kid can't dream.

    FWIW I went shopping for a family there who wouldn't have a Christmas without donations.  While I wasn't going to drop $300 on an xbox that was on their list, I bought other fun things that will make their Christmas special (purses, feather hair extensions, nailpolish, DVDs) because it's freaking Christmas and those kids deserve to have fun!

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  • imagefrlcb:
    I think the language used towards you was pretty harsh but I have to say the sentiment is one I have to agree with. This is a kids wish list, not a needs list. I wouldn't choose something completely off their list just because you don't agree with what they ask for.
    Oh yeah, I totally should have said that in my post. It was a douchey move to call you out in a separate thread and the language used was way out of line, but the sentiment behind the expletives was pretty spot-on IMO.
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  • OMG, you have the power to rile up random internet strangers! Do you feel famous?

    For the record, I'd either buy them something off of their wish list, or put my charitable funds to use somewhere else. I wouldn't get them something not on their list. 

    Isn't that what you were saying anyway? You're not going to spend money on a wii for one kid, when you can buy other things for three other kids with that same money?

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  • Agreed with PPs, the language, crappy, the reason why, understandable. 

    I'm wondering what ages the kids are who wrote those wish lists. There's a decent chance some of them still believe in Santa. They know that last year Santa gave their richer classmate a Wii, mom and dad surely can't afford a Wii, so let's ask Santa!!! 

    I'm completely fine with you not buying game systems for those kids, but wanting to spend that money on true necessities - that's your choice to make. In that case I'd personally rather donate to a food bank or other charity that helps meet the actual needs of these families. A child's Christmas wish list isn't about needs though, it's about wants, and wishes - it's about the only thing they have left. Please don't take that away from them! 

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  • imagerpic81:

    Isn't that what you were saying anyway? You're not going to spend money on a wii for one kid, when you can buy other things for three other kids with that same money?

    This was exactly what I was saying.  And I do buy what is on their lists and the charities I tend to support do have toothbrushes, etc on their list.

    Now that a few hours has lapsed, I admit my language may have been harsh.  I do think that is because of my job, I work with budgets in a charity and follow closely charitable giving on a global scale.  I try to support families with function because I know so many that are without their basic needs meet.  I have also been giving based on function for years now or fun games/activities designed to provide enjoyment over and over again.  Just not at the play station level.

    What I meant was I am not going to buy a video game system, because I want to be able to support more families and therefore can spread the help by purchasing more items that don't require electricity or batteries, which can be very expensive. 

    Now I don't buy seven jeans for myself or other designer brands.  At first I thought someone had asked for seven pairs of jeans!  Seriously, I am not that into labels and I don't know what is in, etc.  I am not taking Christmas away from anyone or telling them not to have dreams -- they just aren't of an Xbox from me, but I am fine with someone else donating one.

    I guess I didn't use the correct language, but if I have a choice, I still stick with my original statement. Although I have to say the swearing at me was a bit much and uncalled for in my opinion  I have to say I am more upset about this than I anticipated as I am not a grinch or mean to children or any of those above things, and apparently know more than 200 people think otherwise.  

  • Every year in DH's hometown they print the school children's wish list to Santa in the local paper. It's unedited and usually it's expensive items. Stuff they probably don't even know how to work properly (I.e. Blackberries and iPhones). Sometimes Items are gaming equipment, games, portable devices, etc. Then the newspaper reprints a group from the 1950s or something. The change is very drastic. Usually the kids from the 1950s wish for things for their siblings or a ball/ hula hoop.

    On to the topic, I think kids want the expensive items because it makes them fit in and our society is focused on consumerism. Kids pick up on that. Our world has changed from the 50s. Kids want what makes them cool.

    I can't say that I would be one of those people who buys a kid a gaming system. I don't think that they are undeserving of it or shouldn't want it, but I would place stipulations on my own son if they wanted something like that. Expensive jeans I don't have so much a problem with.
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  • I don't think you meant that the kids are undeserving and I have to say I completely understand what you're saying.  That said, perhaps it did sound a little grinchy, but it definitely didn't warrant the insane attacks against you (and others who agreed with you). Meh, seems like a case of overreacting from both sides to me.  I agree with what you said in general, but it IS a Christmas wishlist which makes it somehow different.  I'm not making any good points, but yeah it sucks you got flamed so bad!

     

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  • I didn't read the whole 250-post debacle, but I don't even think your original reply was worded that strongly.

    I wasn't on any kind of charity list growing up, and my parents could never afford to give me a video game system. I desperately wanted one, and even ended up going into a field where knowing how to play video games is practically mandatory. Aside from the year I got my American Girls doll and the year I got my bike, my "big" Christmas gift was usually something like a Cabbage Patch Kid.

    But then again, I'm very Grinchy, because I hate consumerism. It makes me very uncomfortable.

    image
  • Kind of on the same topic - I wear 7 jeans that I get ffor tjmaxx

    Dor $25. Just because it is designer doesn't mean it has to cost a ridiculous amount.  I saw a wii gaming system on Craig's list for $50.  Yes it was used but who cares it is still a wii!

    I would have gotten the kid what they asked for. 

  • imageTotZiens:

    Kind of on the same topic - I wear 7 jeans that I get ffor tjmaxx

    Dor $25. Just because it is designer doesn't mean it has to cost a ridiculous amount.  I saw a wii gaming system on Craig's list for $50.  Yes it was used but who cares it is still a wii!

    I would have gotten the kid what they asked for. 

    Interestingly Finn's class 'adopted' a little girl for Christmas, and we had a list of stuff she wanted and stuff she needed. We had to get her the needed stuff first (which, sadly, included things like a winter jacket and underwear, which broke my heart) and the wanted stuff was stuff she requested. She was 4, so her requests were not at the video game level but games, books, etc. However everything we bought her had to be new, with tags on it, and receipt included, so we couldn't have done a used gift. I have no idea why. 

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  • I can't read through the thread because I have about 5 seconds before I have to have a "conference call" with DH about our pre-Christmas to-do list. (This is what my life has come to.)

    But, I just wanted to say that whether your comments were misinterpreted or whether people were "justified" in jumping on you, it still sucks to get "flamed." Disagreement is one thing, but I find it really hard to stay in a thread once I see people start name-calling and saying vicious things. I know it's the internet and people can say whatever they want, but yikes!

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