how to let go of our sitter

cdg0819

About a month ago I think I posted some reservations about our current nanny. She cares about F, but doesn't do the best job of listening to our instructions or taking care of F sometimes (example: last week, DH came home and F was hysterically crying on the living room floor and the nanny was doing dishes). We found a great daycare and a spot opened up for 1/16 (F will transition the week before, but only stay a short time each day). 

We planned to tell her today about our decision and to give her about a month notice, letting her know that if she found another job sooner than 1/16 we would make it work. But, today she called out sick... and she's on vacation in AZ until 1/4. I hate to wait that long to have the conversation... WWYD?

MainelyFoolish

Call her back and tell her. You can't wait until she shows up again in person.

maeghan21

I'm so sorry things haven't turned around, but glad you found a great place for F to go to in Jan.! I'd call her and tell her. She'll have advance notice and you'll get it off of your back!

jl&jl

She called out sick the day before Christmas weekend...is she really sick? 

I don't know if I'd tell her today right before Christmas, but I would definitely call Monday.  I'd say something "I just wanted to give you a heads up that we decided to send F to daycare.  We thank you for your help over the last couple of years.  Felix will miss you."

cdg0819

jl&jl:

She called out sick the day before Christmas weekend...is she really sick? 

I don't know if I'd tell her today right before Christmas, but I would definitely call Monday.  I'd say something "I just wanted to give you a heads up that we decided to send F to daycare.  We thank you for your help over the last couple of years.  Felix will miss you."

I don't think she's really sick, but you never know.  Monday is a good idea; I was hoping DH and I could both talk to her, but I have a feeling I'll be the one that gets to make this call I hate doing things like this!

 

jl&jl

I'm sorry but I still can't stop thinking about her doing the dishes while Felix is screaming.  I mean I don't do that with my own baby...and to think you're paying someone to take care of your baby and this is how she treats him?  Hopefully this will make it easier with approaching her.  I recently had a rough confrontation via letter to the boss of the BFing consultant I had, who incidentally is a co-worker.  I didn't receive the best care and I didn't want to teh same for the next baby.  When I shifted my frame of thinking from being afraid I'd hurt her feelings to thinking this is what I needed to do for the best care for my baby, it made the conversation seem essential and it wasn't as hard as I thought to get it out.  Felix only has one childhood and you're doing the best you can to make that happen and that's more important than her feelings.  I wouldn't get into any sort of explanination with her, I'd simply say "I don't want to get into particulars, this is what DH and I decided, we wish you the best of luck." Good luck! 

cdg0819

jl&jl:

I'm sorry but I still can't stop thinking about her doing the dishes while Felix is screaming.  I mean I don't do that with my own baby...and to think you're paying someone to take care of your baby and this is how she treats him?  Hopefully this will make it easier with approaching her.  I recently had a rough confrontation via letter to the boss of the BFing consultant I had, who incidentally is a co-worker.  I didn't receive the best care and I didn't want to teh same for the next baby.  When I shifted my frame of thinking from being afraid I'd hurt her feelings to thinking this is what I needed to do for the best care for my baby, it made the conversation seem essential and it wasn't as hard as I thought to get it out.  Felix only has one childhood and you're doing the best you can to make that happen and that's more important than her feelings.  I wouldn't get into any sort of explanination with her, I'd simply say "I don't want to get into particulars, this is what DH and I decided, we wish you the best of luck." Good luck! 

You are just so right! Exactly, 100% on the money