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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
If someone gives you a gift of money
Do they get to stipulate what you do with it?
Re: If someone gives you a gift of money
In my book, no. If it's truly a gift, then it should be up to you what to do with it.
But, for example, someone offers to pay for something (not a gift, like if parents offer to pay for your wedding or something) then they have some say in how that money is spent. My mom always used to do this when I was a teenager -- if she paid for my clothes, then she wanted to have a say in what I wore. So I got a job, earned my own money, and bought what I wanted to wear....
No, unless it's devised to you in a will contingent upon it's use for something specific.
Depends, if they tell you what to use it for prior to giving it, then yes, they have a say 'I want to buy you a sweater, but I don't know your size, so I'll give you money to buy yourself a sweater'.
If they first say, "hey, here's a gift, I want to give you a bazillion dollars" and then 2 days later say, "oh and I want you to spend it all on stuff you don't want" then no, they don't get to tell you. All depends on timing in my book.
My food blog
What I'm looking forward to in 2012:
Eating our way through (northern) Italy on vacation
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DI most cases, I'd say no.
But, if, for example, someone is complaining about how they can't pay their bills and someone else offers them money to cover their bills (gift, not loan), then they shouldn't then take that money and go on vacation with it.
This. I think it's fine if it's given with a specific intent, as long as that intent is expressed during or prior to the giving.
This is my thought. If someone gives you Christmas money and then gets mad that you spent that $50 on clothes instead of books... Not cool. But if you tell someone you are in dire financial straits and they say, "take this check for $500" I think the expectation is that you'll spend it on something essential, not a splurge.
2012 Reading Challenge
I think they can if it is stipulated immediately as, or before, the money is given. The receiver can opt to not take the gift if they don't like the stipulation. But personally I try to avoid giving money to the person if there is a stipulation. Too easy for people to use the money otherwise. I have gone with the person and paid for the item (tank of gas, grocery essentials, new pair of shoes for a kid, etc)
If there is no stipulation then the receiver can do whatever they want with it.
So kind of the opposite of what you guys are aiming for. Someone gave us $500 and told us to spend it on something fun. I mentioned we could use it for a stove and the person said definitely not - if I bought a stove I would have to pay her back.
All of our appliances need to be replaced in the very near future.
My food blog
What I'm looking forward to in 2012:
Eating our way through (northern) Italy on vacation
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DI would tell her you spent it on entertainment or entertaining and buy the stove.
I can understand how being given money with a stipulation on it is frustrating, but you can see it is well meant. She wants you to enjoy yourself - probably because she thinks you haven't had enough fun lately. It's kind of crappy to lie to her about how you spent the money she gave you. And what do you do if she comes over and sees the brand new stove? Lie some more? I would either a.) explain to her how happy it would make you to get a new stove and maybe she'll change her mind or b.) just use the money to buy something fun that you've wanted for a while but keep putting off.
Rambley Blog
Meh. I'd still put it towards the stove. I would get a slightly upgraded one and then go on and on about how much fun I'm going to have trying new recipes on my uber nice stove, which I wouldn't have been able to otherwise afford, blah, blah, blah.
So we ended up with bikes. It is a good thought but a complete waste of money. We cannot ride the bikes in our neighborhood so we have to buy racks to go somewhere on them. That is going to cost us $200 for the racks plus we have to buy a bike seat for quint that will cost $50 and helmets because by law we have to wear them ($80). None of which we can afford because we have to save for a new