Did you continue to wear your ring?

cass+

Once you decided you were going to separate or divorce, did you stop wearing your ring or did you continue to wear it?

I wore my ring to work today, only because I work with all women and I did not want anyone to notice I wasn't wearing my ring. Otherwise I haven't worn it. I planned to only wear it at work at least until H and I are no longer living together. H has stopped wearing his ring all together.

Mominator

I actually lost my ring 6 or 7 months before we seperated, so I wasn't wearing it anyway. My exH took his off the second I told him I wanted a divorce.

trafficgirl

I stopped wearing mine the day after I told him I wanted a divorce. I was super self conscious about it (especially at work), but I didn't want to pretend and I figured people would find out eventually anyway.

HeavenlyExcitedBride

I took it off about 3 months after he announced he wanted a divorce.  I wasn't ready to talk to people about my situation hence why I waited to take it off.  I reached the point where I had to be true to myself and just accept things for what they are instead of pretending.

Now I wear my ring on my right hand, it just an eternity diamond band so it does not really look like a wedding ring and I enjoy the beauty of it.

 

OnlyaFool

cass+:

Once you decided you were going to separate or divorce, did you stop wearing your ring or did you continue to wear it?

I stopped wearing it about a week after I told him I wanted a divorce. Once, when he was still trying to "win me back," he asked me to please wear it again "because we were still married." I very reluctantly said okay, and put it back on for about 1/2 a day, but it felt awful, so I took it off again for the last time.

Never wore it again. Gave (both) back to him. No idea what happened to them

FTR, no one asked me about my missing ring. Especially no one at work. Thankfully I work with people who realize that would be inappropriate, even if they HAD noticed.

achase123

No.  As soon as I found out he'd been cheating (for sure) and doing drugs the ring was off and never went back on.

pbear

I stopped wearing my ring about 6 months before we officially separated, it was supposed to be motivational for him to get his crap together. It didn't work. 

VaaaJeana

Stopped wearing it as soon as he told me he didn't want to go to counseling and I asked for a divorce.

Alicia_R1

i took mine off after i told him i wanted a divorce.

DakotaDangerDog

We had about 1 month where we were both going back and forth about if we wanted to stay together or split up. He stopped wearing his early on in the month I think. I stopped wearing mine the day before he admitted to cheating on me and I kicked him out.

PhoenixRising11

I am fortunate that I am not allowed to wear any jewelry on my wrists of hands at work, so I don't wear my ring all the time anyway. Therefore, it has been easy for me not to have it on. I will not wear my rings again. I do plan to sell them eventually.

JellymanKelly

I took mine off the day he left to go back to where he had been living. The next time he visited the kids, 2 weeks later, he was wearing his, but I think it was just to keep up appearances at his local office. Since he was already dating, I'm sure he didn't wear his ring all the time...and probably didn't before we separated.

MintChocoChip

I took it off the day I left and filed for divorce.

PrettyInPearls23

I wore my set for about a month after we separated. Then, I only wore my wedding band (ironic, I know). The day I told XH I was going to file for divorce is when my rings went into my jewelry cabinet for good.

ETA: XH took his off and left it on the coffee table literally minutes after telling me he didn't think he was in love with me anymore. This was 3 months before I filed for divorce.

JustTheWayYouAre

I am still married and haven't worn my rings in over 18 mths, probably closer to over 2 yrs if I am completely honest. I took them off when I was pregnant with our youngest b/c they were too small. They are still too small I can get them on but they quickly get stuck and hurt. For my birthday last year I was given and IOU for him to resize my rings. He still hasnt done it. I did wear my rings for like a month after my daughter was born but I quickly gave up. I could easily take the rings myself and have them resized but I won't b/c I have emotionally checked out of this marriage. I have people ask me all the time why I dont have them resized. I just shrug and think to myself that I dont do it b/c then I wouldn't have an excuse to not wear them anymore.

FWIW I didn't wear them for like 6 mths before ANYONE noticed that I wasn't wearing them. People to this day still don't notice that I don't wear them. Oh except guys at the bar. Whenever I say I'm married if I am at a bar I always get asked where my ring is.

Mia2700

I was so weird about this.  For work, or family functions (basically places that may require an explanation) I would wear my rings, eventually removing my e-ring and only wearing my band.  I did this until August when I was finally comfortable with answering the 764 questions that come with rings disappearing from your finger.

CLW102409

I kept mine on until the day I moved out.  Haven't had them on since.  I saw H last night after work to grab more stuff of mine and he is still wearing his band. 

CPA04

I wore mine until I found out XH showed up intoxicated to pick up DS from daycare repeatedly and I made the final decision to file.  I don't think they went back on after that day, I was so disgusted with him for putting DS in that situation and knew that we were in an unsafe situation.

XH stopped wearing his around the time he got his girlfriend (8 months before DS was born).  He did put it back on twice.  Once when he was in a friend's wedding that I attended with him, and the other was in court when he had to appear in front of the judge for sentencing for his 4th DUI (you know, to appear to be a good family man who shouldn't be in jail since he was clearly married with a very pregnant wife to take care of and provide for....PUKE.)

I do miss my rings though - I still think they're beautiful and miss wearing them every day.

kyrgyzstan

I wore my engagement ring on my right hand because it wasn't super obviously an engagement ring. I called it my failure finger and found it quite hilarious. I sold them when I realized the failure finger bothered current H while we were dating.

HoolyGo

I stopped wearing it as soon as we separated. Interestingly, no one noticed that I'd stopped wearing it, or if they did, they didn't mention it.

Melby403

XH took his off the first time he said it was over. I took mine off the second time he said we were over but were still continuing couseling. That was the day before Valentines Day. People noticed and pointed it out throughout the day to make it even better. I stupidly wore it again for appearances for his grandmother's funeral the next week. I really need to get around to pawning it or trading it in. Its been in the bottom of my jewelry box ever since.

rakattack

I stopped wearing mine the day I told him I was done.  Ironically, that's when he STARTED wearing his. 

LadyLissame

As soon as he said divorce, I stopped wearing it. We were already separated by that point, so I saw no use continuing to wear it.

NinjaPaants

I stopped wearing my ring when we decided to separate. I sold it over the summer after the divorce was finalized. 

SpanishMandi

I took mine off the night before I left.  I borrowed a right hand ring of my mother's (that looked nothing like a wedding ring) to wear at work because I wasn't ready to deal with the questions (and the few days I went bare-fingered, I had plenty of questions....nosy people) .  After classes ended for the year, I returned that ring and have gone without ever since.  I just recently the ring back to XH's family since it was/is a family heirloom.  

XH was pissed that I stopped wearing mine, since in his mind we were still married.  He stopped wearing his a few months after I left and had confronted him with memories of major abuse that he couldn't explain away; he claimed that he took it off because he "didn't deserve to wear it after what he'd done.". 

River Pestie

My ring came off when the X left.

Floyd.B

I've been married 6.5 years and could count the number of times I've worn my wedding ring.  I'm not a big jewelry fan.

I can't imagine noticing someone not wearing their wedding ring.  and I REALLY can't imagine actually asking them about it.

H wore his ring for a few years but just kind of stopped at some point.  I can't really be upset about it or anything.

kellandragon

Gave mine to the girl he cheated with when I confronted them and said "I think this belongs to you, youbitch!" She handed it back, it stayed with my other stuff from him until I sold it to a jewelry store....

kathy5780

After trying counseling, XH was a huge DB about some of the things we talked about with the therapist.  He actually took off his ring and threw it at me after a session.  I took mine off a few days later.  They both went into the jewelry box.  I did have one person at work comment about it.

Last year, I sold both of our rings for scrap gold and used the $ towards a trip with my then BF (now husband).  Not only did we have a great time, but he proposed to me then, too.   Take that, XH!

jdbmjm

I always took it off when I came home from work, and when things started getting bad, i started wearing it less and less and stopped wearing it when I think I emotionally checked out of the marriage, about a month and a half or so before I left him. 

Krissimarie

rakattack:

I stopped wearing mine the day I told him I was done.  Ironically, that's when he STARTED wearing his. 

Mine did this too. Refused to wear it while we were married. Moved out, and then started wearing it after I put the restraining order on him for coming to the house with a shot gun.