and a disclosure...

Mere7706

Lately I've been really stressed and not very happy a lot of the time. Last night, dh and I watched a few dvr episodes of All American Muslim. We've been watching it since it's based here. One of the episodes had a new mom on it expressing how hard it's been on her having a new baby and all the unknown stressing her out, crying making her emotional and all that comes with being a mom.  She put it nicely saying "you start to wonder if everything will ever be 'normal' and return to how it was".  This sparked a conversation between dh and I.  A much needed discussion because we've been arguing a lot lately. 
I finally was able to verbalize, in a non-attacking/accusing way, how I feel like I'm the parent for our kids 98% of the time and I hate that I have to ask dh to do things to help out.  Dh is great with the kids and will do things when they need to be done, but daily things he needs to be asked. 
When we pack up to go out for a day or a long trip--- I'm the one that gets the kids ready (plus myself and the dog). This is the most recent thing that stressed me out all last week when we were visiting family and friends on a daily basis.

Anyway, I told dh I needed him to take more of an active and independent role in helping with the kids. He knows the routine and he knows the needs of the kids- help without me asking (He has always said, if you want me to do something, ask. I take the stance of- I shouldn't have to ask you to do something that you should be responsible enough to do on your own if it needs to be done). 

Today, I received an email from dh telling me all his vacation days for 2012 and then all the math he did to compare his current job work days to his old job work days (with vacation/holidays/overtime/etc in the mix).  He came up with current job: 225 days, Old job: 275 days. 
The last sentence of his email was this:
Conclusion...  I need to do more at home and not spend the extra time on the computer. 

 (he does a lot of fantasy sports and spend a lot of time on the computer at night)

Now- let's see if he follows through with this revelation! 

jmaiuri

It sounds like your H really listened to what you were saying last night.  I haven't been married that long, nor do I have children so I don't understand the full extent of what you're going through, but from the way it sounds, you have good communication with your H.  And if there is anything I have been learning since we got married: Communication is key... I know, cliche right? (It annoys me that I can't remember how to make the correct "e" for cliche haha)

lawyerlindsay

Good for your H.  It sounds like he listened.  For your sake, I hope he follows through.  

Ritzy19

Fingers crossed that he starts helping you out more! I could probably have the exact same conversation with my H.

mardoll10

That scenario is one of the biggest things that worries me about having kids.  Your husband's email was awesome, and I hope that he makes some progress!!