Starting Over
renegade gaucho
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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Assistance needed on TIP
This woman's husband is abusing her. Of course, everyone (myself included) is telling her to leave him, but I know when abuse is involved, leaving is easier said than done, and I think advice from those of us who have never experienced abuse, while well-intentioned, can be unproductive and come off as lecturing. I know some people on this board are survivors- would any of you who have escaped a situation like this be willing to share some words of wisdom? You might be able to get through to her better. This is breaking my heart.
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/4110123/ShowForum.aspx
Re: Assistance needed on TIP
I can't see the link...
Sorry! Try this one!
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61848274.aspx
I should probably include a warning that the post is fairly disturbing, in case anyone might be triggered by it.
It's the one titled "Feeling Trapped"
(and if you put your cursor and highlight the OP, it will move down so you can see the linky.)
I have NEVER been in a situation like that and the post disturbed me a little.
I can't believe that her husband is so incredibly abusive and she doesn't seem to be taking anyone's advice.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
Am I the only one who is 100% convinced this is MUD? I just can't believe this...not even a little bit.
My Lunch Blog
I don't think so. I wish I did. It's astonishing the things we will do for the people we love when they are manipulating and abusing us...
ETA:
River--abusive relationships put you into a fog, especially those that geographically isolate you. By being far away from family and friends, your entire existence is often your abusive H. It becomes all you know and what you think is normal. It's not easy to hear that it's not a normal situation if you've been justifying it to yourself for so long to try to live with it. I posted on TIP long before I left my XH--the same advice fell upon deaf ears/blind eyes. It wasn't until I moved back to the US with him that the veil was lifted and I realize how effed up my life was.
Thanks! That's a new one- I'm usually being told I'm a hag and someone feels sorry for my husband
I can't say if this particular post is MUD or not but to be honest, the topic is not MUD. Sexual abuse is practically birthed out of our backyards and is everywhere. It would be pretty naive not to believe that as sad as it is.
I don't know, but before I was separated from my X, we had an issue that I created an AE for to get some advice and people start slamming with me MUD all over my post and weren't helpful at all and it made me feel even worse about the problem, so I try not to judge 1 poster posts so quickly.
In the end, even though I claim to not know why we divorced, it is pretty safe to say that the reason I posted about was the reason we divorced...
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
I think it's real. I've worked with a few victims of abuse who have related incidents kind of similar. It had two purposes, one it gives the abuser something to h Old against you and blame you for and two it allows him to view you even more as an object. That's why I was hard on her, I really really do think this guy I dangerous.