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Looking for Advice...
I may DD, even though this is anonymous.
I have been mulling over my happiness for several months now, and thinking about whether I want to remain in my marriage. We have been married for about 2.5 years, no biological kids, but we are a blended family so I am a stepmom to a very cute and awesome girl. But I am not entirely happy in my marriage, and a big part of me thinks that I would be happier on my own. DH knows I am not entirely happy but wants to work on things (no counseling, these are things we have discussed on our own). Of course there are specifics, etc. but that is not the main point of this post so I am not going to write paragraphs about it.
My biggest hesitation is what would happen to my DSD. I have been in her life for many years and knowing my DH, as amicable as he seems, there would probably be bitterness and I really doubt that I would ever get to see DSD again. It is not like a regular biological kid situation, where parents get visitation, etc. I have no legal rights whatsoever to see her I believe if I were not married to DH. DSD's mom does not get along with DH and has literally gone out of her way to never speak to me so it is not like I could work something out with her. And then the thought of telling my parents they aren't going to see a child they consider a grandkid ever again is heartbreaking.
Has anyone been in this type of situation? Any thoughts?
Re: Looking for Advice...
I am in this situation. I have a SS who is 3 and I have basically raised him since he was 4 months old. My state has no stepparent laws. At first I keep "falling" on the fact of if I leave then I won't see SS very much if at all . But the bigger question is... Do I want to live in a marriage that is not working ? NO . No I do not.
(This is after I went to counseling on my own and also as a couple. )
The reasons I am not happy are not the point of my post... it is about my DSD and what happens about my relationship with her.
I also saw a response before about not ending my marriage until I have tried everything, but when I looked back this morning it was missing for some reason... again, it is not the ending of the marriage that is at issue. I am not going into details about reasons, but suffice it to say there are definitely reasons. The post is about what to do in a blended family situation where legal rights are pretty much nil.
I think there's a big difference between "not entirely happy" and "entirely unhappy." If you're not sure you want to leave, then try counseling, address your issues, and perhaps you wont have to worry about what legal rights you have as a step-parent.
If you're really at the end of your rope, consult with an attorney. He or she will most likely be a lot more knowledgeable and helpful than any of us.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.