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Why do I even bother?

Every time my sister needed me, I have dropped everything to help her.  I took her dog in for three weeks once, left a huge work meeting for the birth of her son, took off work to help her when her H had a brain tumor removed and took off work when she had her heart surgery and helped her with her kid and cleaned her house.

 She totally flaked on me last week when Tony had his knee surgery and I am on bed rest.  Said she would help but never answered her phone.  Just now I called and asked her if she could be the person to come over in the morning and let my dogs out and feed them if I go into labor in the middle of the night.

She said "no, I'm a teachers aid now at my kids school so I can't miss work.". I said, "wait, you won't be there for the birth of your nieces?  I left work immediately when you had N."

She responded "but I'm a teacher and just can't miss work."

 Dudes, she a  foffing teachers aid at a preschool.  Im so frustrated, I don't know why I continue to try to have a relationship with either of my sisters.   

 

IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012

Re: Why do I even bother?

  • Holy crap. It's not as if you're asking her to be your birth coach or anything. I'm sorry, dawg. And I'm guessing you'll be induced or at least have some inking of when you'll be needing her help, so it's not as if you're springing it on her.
    image
  • I'm so sorry. What a shiit. Is this the crazy mom sister?
  • Yep, that's her.  
    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
  • Couldn't she come and let your dogs out before work?? That sucks :(
  • She makes me stabby
  • imageriiskybusiness:
    Couldn't she come and let your dogs out before work?? That sucks :(

     

    Apparently not.   

    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
  • I don't get why she can't do it before work, assuming she lives close. I don't go to anyone's birth though.
    image
  • I'm sorry, Dawg. I wish she could be there for you the way you need. It's probably time to temper your expectations so you don't end up disappointed in a few weeks too. 
  • She doesn't live that close and work is the opposite direction.  

    She had a total meltdown when her son was born claiming that none of us helped her enough and we weren't a real family.  This after we all took days off work to help her.  She has also been telling us that my dad and his wife never baby sit for her but do for my step sister.  When my dad drove Tony to his surgery, he told Tony that he's always offering to baby sit but my sister doesn't show up.    She's been lying since she was a little kid but I'm still shocked when I catch her in one.  

    Not sure why. 

     I only ask for help if I absolutely need it.  I hate even needing someone to let the dogs out.  

    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
  • So does this mean you are preparing for birthing in san Diego?
  • Is it too late to find a dog walker/sitter? It might be good to have one while dealing with new twins anyway.
    image
  • TSDTSD member
    Sorry you're disappointed. It sucks and totally douchey. BUT- They are who they are. They aren't going to change. Either adjust your expectations or wash your hands of them.
  • imagewingedbride:
    So does this mean you are preparing for birthing in san Diego?

    No, but I don't think I will make it to the scheduled c section on Feb 6th.  I think I've got about two weeks.  

    My mom will be here as soon as she can and will be the one to cook and help with the dogs.  I just needed someone if I go into labor in the middle of the night before the scheduled c section.  My dad will do it, so I'm not worried.  It's just frustrating that someone I have helped so much and lives the closest, is being an ahole. 

    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
  • imageTSD:
    Sorry you're disappointed. It sucks and totally douchey. BUT- They are who they are. They aren't going to change. Either adjust your expectations or wash your hands of them.

     

    Word.  

    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
  • I'm glad you'll be able to stay local. 
  • TSDTSD member
    imagelmydogally:

    imageTSD:
    Sorry you're disappointed. It sucks and totally douchey. BUT- They are who they are. They aren't going to change. Either adjust your expectations or wash your hands of them.

     

    Word.  

    Honestly, washing my hands of my family has been the easiest thing I've ever done. And the best. I've had zero stress since doing it. Aside for a few instances here or there where I had no choice but to hear f'ed up things about them or that they've done. But, now none of it is even any of my concern. No obligations, no annoyance.

  • It cracks me up sometimes about how excited TSD gets over the topic of cutting off family. 
  • TSDTSD member

    imagewingedbride:
    It cracks me up sometimes about how excited TSD gets over the topic of cutting off family. 

    I do. For one reason. I don't understand being a doormat for people just because they're related to you. Just pull off the bandaid. It's frustrating. Not that I don't feel for people because I do. But, I still don't get it. If it was a friend or a boyfriend I'd say the same thing. When you say it about someone's family though, it's like you've suggested something crazy. Meanwhile, these people sound like complete a$$holes. I don't understand repeatedly surrounding yourself with people that treat you like shiit.

  • Why do you think you've only got two weeks?
  • Wendy, I'm having a lot of contractions daily on top of high blood pressure issues. Most twins are born at 36 weeks.  I've also dropped already and my cervix is starting to shorten. 
    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
  • imageTSD:

    imagewingedbride:
    It cracks me up sometimes about how excited TSD gets over the topic of cutting off family. 

    I do. For one reason. I don't understand being a doormat for people just because they're related to you. Just pull off the bandaid. It's frustrating. Not that I don't feel for people because I do. But, I still don't get it. If it was a friend or a boyfriend I'd say the same thing. When you say it about someone's family though, it's like you've suggested something crazy. Meanwhile, these people sound like complete a$$holes. I don't understand repeatedly surrounding yourself with people that treat you like shiit.

    This is all H's family understands. They will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for each other, because it's "for the family." Which is fine to an extent since the philosophy is always reciprocated. But it irks me, because even if doing a favor for a relative puts you into debt (such as: taking time off work and spending lots of money on driving across the country to help a relative move instead of them just hiring a moving company), you have to do it because they're "family" and they're obsessed with the concept of "family." Maybe I just don't understand because my family isn't obsessed with each other's lives like they are and it makes me feel a little unworthy because my family isn't as dedicated or close-knit as theirs. I don't know.

    That sister sucks though. What is it, exactly, that a preschool teacher's aid needs to do that is so important she can't miss a single day for the birth of her sister's child? Not very gracious.

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  • your sister sucks.  and now I have Who Let the Dogs Out stuck in my head.
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