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Pretty upset.
Hi everyone,
I'm pretty upset about this, and I need some advise on what to do...
My fiance and I had been together for 5 1/2 years, and got engaged in March.
We had sex on NYE, then again the next day. We were in the middle of having sex, when I finished, then he just got up and said he was "over it" and he didn't finish.
I ended up begging him to let me "finish him off" because I felt bad. So I got him off with my boobs, and he said that was really hot.
But I was confused and like wtf? and he said sex with me is boring, and I'm loose...Sex just doesn't do it for him anymore...And that's why we don't have sex often, 2 days in a row was too much because my vag "doesn't bounce back like it use to"
I was under the impression we weren't having sex often because he has health problems, and never feels good, so he doesn't feel up to it...
Then later he tried to make me feel better, by saying he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings it's just the way he feels, but the way he said it broke my heart. He said I looked so upset about it (Duhhhh) and that he really didn't mean to be mean about it. And now I can't get that out of my head, and keep beating myself up about it.
What should I say to him? Or what should I do? I don't want to try and put myself out there, and do something sexy for him because now I feel like crap...
Some comforting words would really be appreciated. 
Re: Pretty upset.
Whoa....how insensitive.
Have you borne children? Even if you've given birth to a child or 2, no way should you be as "loose" as this total prince is "describing you."
What I think you should do:
Rethink this guy and in a hurry.
Why do you want somebody who is insensisitve, a pig, makes you feel horrible about yourself and insults you? And this is how he is treating his future wife? Ugh.
Seriously rethink him. Find a guy who thinks you're fabulous and hot as hell. GL.
ETA: if you are still serious about marrying him, I strongly suggest you sit down with him and ask this guy if he still has intentions of marrying you. I am also wondering if this guy has emotionally checked out of the relationship -- you and he should be growing closer; he shouldn't dare be insulting you or making you feel bad about yourself.
I'm so sorry that he said that to you but it is doubtful that it is your fault or problem hundreds of thousands of couples have happy healthy sex lives throughout their entire lives and it is unlikely that their is something uniquely different about your vagina that makes it less awesome than the others out their. you are awesome and so is your vagina, this is his hang up and has nothing to do with you
something is wrong with him if he thinks that the problems you are having have something to do with your lady parts and it sounds as though he has a problem with his libido
I am inclined to think that it has nothing to do with you being "loose". Have a serious conversation with him about what is going on. If you have been together 5.5 years, I hope that you can talk about your sex life and relationship without having to dance around the subject.
If he told you directly that he finds sex with you boring, you need to either find out the root of the problem (I don't know the context, or the whole story- he could have just been trying to imply that he wants to experiment more) or move on. This whole post indicates communication issues, or a selfish douchebag. I'm guessing you know your husband well enough to figure out which one it is. Good luck.
Common sense will tell you that the tightness and strength of a guy's own fist is not going to be the same as a vagina. Nontheless, he is a douche for saying that to you.
Riskybusiness: she's not married to this punk. She's better off saying goodbye to him; as I said, he's supposed to love her for everything she is, not make her feel bad.
Oh my, is he always this blunt and insensitive about stuff?? My God I would be so hurt. I have to think that there is something else going on in the relationship- what man gets up in the middle of sex and says he's over it, and later on says such hurtful things to the woman he "loves".
I suggest you have a sit-down with him and try to see if there's some underlying issue. So sorry about this, really. How hurtful.
I completely agree with this. He is insensitive and you should really sit down with him and say "is this going to work?" Maybe he's looking for a way out and saying something like that might just be his way to tell you, "I'm done" without actually saying it. If you're having issues in the bedroom, they shouldn't be talked about in the bedroom during or after sex. That's just a recipe for a disaster. Sit down with him, tell him how you're feeling and ask him to be honest about his feelings. You might just find out exactly what is going on with HIM, not you.
I guarantee it isn't your vagina.
Wow, what an (ignorant) arsehole. Vaginas don't get 'loose' anyway, and they're all the same size, or at least, one of two sizes (pre- and post-birth). Anatomy lesson: vaginas have two states, unaroused/closed and aroused/open. You want it to be open and relaxed, which raises the cervix up and out of the way and makes sex enjoyable. A 'tight' vagina is one that doesn't want penetration.
Ditto the advice about talking to and possibly dumping this loser. Oh, and if he's not getting enough friction to get off, he's probably been masturbating too much since his hand can apply more pressure. My H hasn't had that problem, and he does jerk off regularly, but some guys de-sensitize themselves that way.
wow...and let me guess...he is so wonderful in every other way...he is the greatest guy...he is awesome...and you just love him so much.
you do realize that this isnt EVER going to get better? you bf is a douche.
Why tf would you want to marry a boy like this??? why?
he told you sex is boring and then you beg him to let you get him off?
did you fall on your head?
wake the F up and realize now what a douche he is...not a year after the weddnig and divorce court.
Comforting words? Sorry... all I have is why would you want to marry a pencil diick fool who blames you for his junk issues?
Unless you've birthed 4 kids in the past 5 years, you aren't any "looser" than you were 5 years ago. His excuse is blatently false. He needs an anatomy lesson.
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi#general
Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. He has a tater tot, and it will always be a tater tot. It's him, not you. Period.
PS. In all seriousness, you will never get over this. You will never get that out of your head, and for the rest of your life you will never be able to fully enjoy sex with him again. He broke a serious bond of trust that you need in a marriage and most definitely in a sex partner. I also would like to pose the question of fidelity. He may have been creeping into other waters whether that be online or whathaveyou, and is looking for a way to assign blame. Please, I implore you, dump him before you lose every ounce of dignity you may have left.
I'm sorry but you're engaged to an insensitive arsehole. If he really didn't want to hurt you, he would have handled this totally differently.
I would try and talk this out with him but I would seriously reconsider marrying him because his doucheface is starting to show.
For love of tully, lose this guy fast. You shold not only be livid he said this, he should also be history.
Don't marry this jerk. there is zero here to love.
That is a possibility, and so is using the "vag problem" as a very easy way out the door for himself.
To the OP:
Put yourself first.
If a good friend of yours came up to you with the same problem, what would you tell her?
This jerk hasn't got your best interests at heart -- do yoursef a favor and cut your losses and go.
My thought EXACTLY.
Get rid of this loser. He does not deserve you. There is nothing you can do to make this better except to move on and get some counseling so the next man you fall in love with is a better person.
DO NOT MARRY THIS JERK. As others have said, it you marry him you will be divorcing him and then you can be on the TIP and starting over boards, too. It is way easier to break off an engagement than to get a divorce.
Get rid of this loser. He is not worthy of you.
DO NOT MARRY HIM. It is way easier to break off and engagement than to go through a divorce. Get rid of him, move on, get some counseling so that you do not end up with another loser.
I agree with PPs that this guy is a jerk.
BUT I do think it would help you to get checked by a gyno. There are things, such as prolapses which could create a loose feeling.
Now I don't necessarily think this has happened to you, but I would suggest it to put your mind at rest that there is nothing physically wrong with you, and it has everything to do with him. That realisation alone might help you move on to better things.
There is likely something else going on that doesn't have anything to do with the tightness of your vagina. He's just more willing to say that he finds sex with you boring and that you're loose instead of telling you what's really going on. And that makes him an ass.
Like PPs have said, your vagina isn't any looser than it was 5 years ago. Talk to him and find out what is really going on. I think he is just making excuses for not wanting to sleep with you. Maybe he's looking for a way out? If he is, please give it to him.
And if you were able to finish durning sex, before he did, you are more than tight enough!
Girl, go find someone who deserves you.