Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Paternity x2
Listen, if you ask for advice or opinions here you need to be prepared for the answers you will get. All of them, good or bad. That's called being an adult.
You are way too young to get married. You will grow so much between the ages of 18-25, and you should not put limits on yourself.
Is anyone laughing harder at the 2 years/background check girl than the trainwreck op?
YES. I mean, I watched a LOT of Lifetime Original Movies over Christmas break and I briefly considered that my neighbor gave me poisoned dog treats for no other reason than that I'm now suspicious of everyone because the TV tells me to but good god woman!
But then the OP said she conducts background checks on her friends for fun, soooooooooo ...
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Oh, yes.
I'm not sure she knows what that means. I think she thinks a background check involves a survey of facebook friends and a search on local papers for "their name + crystal meth"
To be fair, sometimes, that's all you need to do to decide someone's an unsuitable mate.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
well that and plus wait 2 years until they run out their alias.
And a credit check before combining finances.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
"Once I got a bath bomb that, once exploded, filled the tub with confetti. Little sharp metallic pieces of confetti. The product description said nothing about confetti. Oh look, there's a tiny, sharp metallic blue star stabbing me in the labia. HOW RELAXING. " - NoisyPenguin
I don't know about Columbo specifically, but I'm pretty sure most of them are TIPers who go from board to board looking for anyone--ANYONE--they can spout advice at.
Lolz. Crazy. Crazy. I am really crazy. Are there any stalkers on my grounds?
ETA: Feck! I totally ruined that. DESPARATE! DESPARATE! I am really DESPERATE!
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
OP- if I had married the boy I was with at 18, I'd be living in his parents basement, working fast food, and on public assistance.
You need to dump this loser, move away from small town America, and live a bit. Get an education or job skills, mature, and meet a man who doesn't belong on Jerry Springer.
I dated two older guys when I was in high school. They were both effed in the head. I think anyone who wants to associate with children when they should be living as an adult and associating with adults is sketchy and suspect.
That being said, I love this thread.
Ok I am sorry to tell you but I don't think the issue that most people have with your situation is that you are young. I think it is your relationship history and what you have told us about the guy you are going to marry. Just doesn't seem like such a catch and to be honest the fact that you want to tell everyone this story just shows how not ready you are to be married.
Okay.
#1 - A 21/22 year old man who would choose to date a 15/16 year old teenage girl is a total sleaze, or else has something seriously wrong with him. And if you guys had sex at the time, I'm guessing he broke the law given your age. Not marriage-material.
#2 - Once he found out that he might be the father, he should have stepped up and gotten tested (and for all the problems with your ex, at least he did that right). WHY would you want to be with a guy who would willingly choose to ignore and abandon his (potential) child. A real man would not have waited for the court order when he knew full well that it could be his child. Why would you want to marry him? Would you honestly want to have children with a man like this?
Why the rush to get married?
I met my DH when I was 35 and married him at 38. I have a TON of dating and life experience but I still wanted us both to have some time being together and being in life together before tying the knot. Knowing each other as exes is not the same as dating for two to three years. And honestly, I figure at your age (I work with that age as a therapist by the way), I would date at least 3 to 4 years minimum before getting married. You are still changing so much (hell, I'm glad I waited until my 30s) and really need that life experience on your own to grow. So I'd suggest waiting. It really will be worth it.
I vote she should get pregnant because THAT is what fixes everything.amirite?