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Fostering and kids -- bad idea?
DH has a fairly mild cat allergy, but his brother has extreme allergic reactions and can't really be around pets. So, in case our kids are allergic, DH and I are reluctant to adopt any pets of our own at this time. We do foster, though, and that's very important to me -- both because pets are an important part of my life, and because I love knowing that we're helping save lives.
I'd like to foster exclusively until we're finished having kids and know they're all allergy-proofed (though DH wants to take a break beginning 3-4 months before birth each time so there's time to de-allergen the house before the baby arrives). I'd hate to adopt a forever cat or dog after baby #2 and then find out baby #3 had horrible asthmatic allergies.
Is that a bad idea, though, to foster cats with young kids in the house? I'm worried it would be stressful for our fosters (or rough on/dangerous for the kids) since there wouldn't be the same amount of time adjusting to each other. But at the same time, I really, really want to keep fostering, so I hope it would be fine. 
July 3rd, 2012 ~ Hang in there sweetheart, we can't wait to meet you!
Re: Fostering and kids -- bad idea?
I fostered a few dogs when my older son was 3. On my part, it just required more diligence between the foster and my human son. I have to say, though, since my son was already used to four dogs it wasn't too much of an adjustment. We took a puppy once from a gassing shelter in the south (it was an emergency) so even though we have a 'full' household, the puppy was better off in our house than the alternative. The main issue I had was between our other dogs (all old) than our kid. My son and the puppy had the same energy level
It is quite beneficial for children to be integrated into fostering because it teaches them love, compassion, how to treat animals, etc. It might just be more of an adjustment for your kids since a pet in the house would be more of a novelty. Because of this, a child might be more likely to NOT to give the animal its space - but again, this can be counter acted with diligence on your part (which seems like you are more than willing to do!).
I definitely understand for not adopting while you are pregnant (and it is commendable you know what you can / can't handle), however NOT adopting merely because you are afraid future children will be allergic seems a bit extreme. The chances of that are so low, and as a parent, there will be much more pressing issues than that (just playing devil's advocate here).
We had all our dogs before our second son arrived. He seems completely fine (allergy-wise) around them and there are actual studies that suggest children that are raised around animals actually have LESS allergies (because they are used to some dander and pet hair). If, however, in the extreme unlikely rare event my younger son, Zach, was allergic, there are many things we could do to minimize such a reaction even with dogs in the house (the FAQ section in the board is a big help).
Also, I completely understand your wanting to be 'free' from fostering around the birth of potential children, however, sometimes with fostering there are unforeseen circumstances (i.e. when I had a puppy delivered to my house at 11pm to foster). You need to discuss in depth with the rescue what will happen around these events. Will there be a back up foster in the situation?
I wish you luck and your wanting to foster is commendable, just take into account everything - even if it seems unimportant at the time.
I should add there are extreme cat allergies in my family as well, but my sons are fine!
You will forever be my best friend. I can almost feel our hugs. I will ensure everyone will know (now and in the future) what a genuine, kind, loving person you were...I already miss your laughter and our daily conversations. I love you, Samantha. May 20, 1983- February 20, 2012
edited to change suit to fits
5 cats. 1 baby.
Thanks so much for the response! That was very helpful and encouraging.
I really want to keep fostering continuously, and I think our kids are less likely to be allergic if they are exposed early (which is important to me). But DH doesn't agree with me. His brother has really suffered with allergies, since he was a baby, I've been told, so he thinks if we have allergens in our house when the baby is born we could have a miserable baby on our hands for months. Since you said the chances of our kids being allergic are low, maybe I'll have to do some more research on that to discuss with him.Our rescue knows our situation and they're okay with us taking a break from fostering. We have a foster cat right now, and I'm so nervous we aren't going to place him in the next few months -- the idea just kills me (I'm attached - I always am - and I'd happily keep him forever if he were never adopted. He's FIV-positive and hard to place, but such a fantastic cat). But the rescue was aware when they placed him with us that we were trying to get pregnant, and that pregnancy would put a time limit on our fostering because of the allergy issues. I just hate to not foster when there are never enough homes as-is.
July 3rd, 2012 ~ Hang in there sweetheart, we can't wait to meet you!
And thanks for the other responses while I was typing out my long response to the first. lol. It's supposed to take a couple of months of cleaning to get all the proteins and dander out of the house, according to DH -- that's why he wants to take a break from having pets before the baby is born, in case it is allergic. When that happens I'll switch to volunteering at our local shelter for a while.
July 3rd, 2012 ~ Hang in there sweetheart, we can't wait to meet you!
You may want to have your DH read these articles and reconsider his plan to allergy-proof the house.
Time Magazine article on the topic
"Children who live with dogs and cats are less likely to develop allergies to those animals later in life, but only if the pet is under the same roof while the child is still an infant, a new study suggests.
Compared to babies born into cat-free homes, those who grew up with cats were roughly half as likely to be allergic to them as teenagers, the study found.
Being exposed to pets anytime after the first year of life appeared to have no effect on allergy risk, however, which indicates that timing may be everything when it comes to preventing allergies
Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/06/13/study-living-with-pets-may-protect-infants-from-allergies/#ixzz1isdL1StY
Peer-reviewed journal article-
"After adjustment for possible confounders, inverse associations were found between contact with dogs in the first year of life and lifetime prevalences of asthma, hay fever, eczema, itchy rash, and pollen sensitization. These effects were more pronounced for children with atopic parents." - Exposure to pets and allergies in Children Bernd Holscher, Christian Frye, H-Erich Wichmann, Joachim Henrich Pediatric Allergy and Immunology. 22 Sept 2008.
Thanks for the info -- I'll definitely do some more research and discuss with DH.
July 3rd, 2012 ~ Hang in there sweetheart, we can't wait to meet you!
I am fostering with my 13 month old.
Is it easy? No. But it's manageable. The hardest things for me, personally, are:
1. walks. it's hard to manage a foster and try to teach them leash walking skills with another dog to walk and pay attention to and a baby.
2. Attention. Honestly, there just isn't a lot of it to go around these days. But DS is finally sleeping well so from 8ish until 11 pm, when we go to bed, the dogs have our full attention, training, rub downs, snuggles, etc.
Can't help you on the allergy front, as pps have already cited research I know. DS doesn't have any problems with the dogs.
I have areas blocked off by xpens folded out to keep the dogs and baby separated during play periods. They do interact a lot, but Guinness likes to eat wooden toys and lick DS nonstop and DS is approaching an age where he can be a little rough, so I try to keep all interactions short and sweet for right now.
I don't have any advice about the allergies....
but we have fostered a couple pitbulls since having ds. It has been an awesome experience and ds really enjoyed having the dogs around.
My IF blog
The other ladies really reinforced the issue of allergies & babies.
Have you discussed with the rescue yet where your FIV cat will go if it is not adopted by the time you go into labor? I know it seems early to be discussing this but if you really do not want to foster while you are late in your pregnancy / with a newborn you definitely need a plan
. It is admirable you are fostering a FIV cat (many ladies on this board do - I don't because our one terrier is very cat aggressive) but is there any other special needs that would inhibit you taking care of the cat with a newborn? The puppy I had I often had to get up in the middle of the night and take him out so that absolutely would have been draining with a newborn. I realize you do not have to do that with cats, though.
Also (and this is my opinion based on experience, other ladies feel free to contribute) I think it is much better for a baby to get used to animals (i.e. have them around often) as opposed to bringing one in when the child is a toddler (and I am not talking from an allergy perspective). If the baby grows up with the animals, you are able to show consistently and from a young age the how-to's of having an animal. A toddler has extremely jerky, unpredictable movements and that could be extremely frightening for the animal (if the animal was not raised in the household) and since the animal is a novelty to the toddler (as mentioned earlier) you would have the child yelling / grabbing more. It is tough enough to raise a child who was born around animals to teach them from a baby how to touch an animal - it would be exponentially more difficult to do such if a toddler did not have that experience from birth.
It is actually fairly recently (within the last few months) that my almost five year old son is FINALLY GETTING not to go near / touch / yell around a sleeping animal...and this was years of constant reinforcement. Granted, he is on the autism spectrum and it might have taken a little longer because he was delayed, but you get the point. He was raised around four dogs and it took THIS LONG to finally get him to understand the concept of what not to do around a sleeping dog, not to touch the head or face, etc. Even now, obviously, I have to be diligent!
Oh and Zach already smiles / laughs around all the dogs (I think he even has a favorite!) and even at this age I take his hand and show him how to touch nicely and only use sweet tones around the dogs. That is about all you can do at that age...babies are exponentially easier to deal with than toddlers!!!
You will forever be my best friend. I can almost feel our hugs. I will ensure everyone will know (now and in the future) what a genuine, kind, loving person you were...I already miss your laughter and our daily conversations. I love you, Samantha. May 20, 1983- February 20, 2012