Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Trying to save a DD
 mmyiayia
 Joined on 01-08-2012
45 Points
  |
new here n need some advice please!!!Hi! Im new here and need some advice.. I am in a new relationship of 3 1/2 months and we moved in together right away.. I recently got out of a realllly bad relationship very abusive lots of cheating etc... well the guy I am with now is absolutely wonderful and would do anything for me.. until recently.. because of past bad relationship I brought alot of baggage with me and have a hard time trusting.. and I am really trying but since in this relationship I ask a lot of questions and subltly make comments about him being with others (even though I know he is not) and then the other night I did the big no no and straight out accused him of cheating and it was very very ugly and he refused to speak to me and the next eventhing we talked and he told me he thought it best if we werent together anymore because he cant deal with all my baggage.. I realllly love this man and do not want to lose him so I asked him to give me another chance... we did sign a lease together so we are still here and he seems to maybe be coming around if i ask him for a hug today and last night he would at least hug me back.. but I want him back.. i want him.. what do i do?? I am trying to give him space and time but it is soooo hard.. I have no patience at all and I want things like they used to be... but better.. he told me if he sees i am acting better not accusing etc anymore we may be able to work it out.. but how long do i have to wait? I am willing to give all I have.. but at the same time I need to know he is still there too.. if i try to talk to him about it he just tells me to stop?!?! please help... my heart is breaking... |
Re: Trying to save a DD
was this on TIP?
The phrase YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH is very true.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
Well, if TIP wasn't so MMMMMEEEEEEAAAAAAANNNNNN!
What we were supposed to say was:
"Deep down inside he likes it when you accuse him of cheating. It means that you believe other women find him desirable. He's only acting mad because he wants you to do it more. Oh, and hit him when you accuse him of being a douche, men like aggressive women."
*looks nervous* It won't?
Holy immaturity Batman.
You should have 1-Avoide relationships for a good long while and 2-gotten therapy; you can benefit by it.
You're also insecure as hell. Get therapy.
This also sounds like a very very young person.
Betting 19 tops.
And who is reallllllly in love after 3 and a half farking months???
1- You are not ready to have jumped into another relationship so soon! With all the baggage you say you have (which sounds true), you need to work on yoruself and make yourself your priority. Until you do so, you will not make the progress needed to better your life in general.
2- Walk away (or let him) while you heal. If it is meant to be, you two will reconnect when you are a better person overall. I would suggest personal counseling.
3- Once you claim cheating, it is almost impossible to move beyond, expecially after you have accused him after 3.5 months. You need help resolving the issues you have inside. Those feelings and insecurities will not just go away and harboring them deep inside will only make them fester with time.
My biggest piece of advice to you would be to pack your bags, GET YOUR OWN PLACE, seek counseling to make yourself a better person (it doesnt make you worse of a person, you will be thankful you did), and seek out FRIENDSHIPS, not living arrangements with others!!!
Good Luck.