Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I wish I could get my friends to..
I wish I could get certain of my friends to de-friend my XH on Facebook.
I should mention - these are friends who live 800+ miles away, some have met XH ONCE (over a year ago), and some never met him AT ALL.
None of them will ever see him again. Why are they still Facebook friends? He|| I'M close to defriending him.
I was talking to my best friend from home last night, and she told me that she met up with a couple other of these mutual friends the other night, and they were talking about my XH's relationship status. Fine, whatever, but really? It's so gossipy, and it seems strange that they even care.
I know I can't control what anyone else does, but I just think it's weird that they wouldn't think to defriend him. I also think that there are some people who just "hoard" Facebook friends - they never delete anyone they've ever added, ever, even if they can't remember who the person is. What's the point? Eh.
Re: I wish I could get my friends to..
This completely annoys me too! Actually, more than my XH is my XSIL who is still friends with my dad, brother, brother's XW, etc while before he even moved out our house she defriended me. And I too don't understand the hoarding of friends on FB.
But, on the otherside of that, I think people just don't think about deleting people. Not to mention, whenever I've defriended people, it takes me forever to figure out how since I don't do it very often.
I'll drink to this. I'm in the same exact boat here. I've actually emailed a few friends this week asking them the same thing (same situation as yours - they only met him once or twice and aren't in touch with him). They didn't have an issue deleting him.
My ex is starting to go through some of my friend's photo albums (pics that I'm tagged in) and writing things like "Miss you K".... which is beyond annoying b/c then I get the notifications.
Hate Facebook... lol
One of my best friends is getting a divorced. She moved out, but they haven't filed yet. I go to his page every so often because I just want to delete him, but I don't know when it is okay to delete him. Heck, I wanted to delete him when they were still together! I'm kind of waiting for the go ahead from her. She was trying to be friends with him, so I didn't want him to blame her if I delete him and think she talks bad about him. I also don't want to delete him and then have them get back together. I'm kind of waiting on the go ahead from her, maybe they are too?
Just do it! The only reason you need is that you just didn't want to be his "friend" anymore. You have no connection to him now that your friend is divorcing him, so just delete him and move on. I don't think he's going to sit around wondering why you deleted him, if he even notices.
I go on FB maybe once every few months (and upload pics from my phone slightly more often than that). As a result, I'm still "friends" with a lot of XH's friends. I think. Maybe. Honestly, I don't follow it too closely. I think you're overthinking the FB thing.
If my friends want to gossip about my XH (his profile is still public), I don't give a schnit. Let them laugh at his trainwreck ass. (They don't do this, but in a strange way, I think if they did, it would be how they showed their support for me.)
You make a decent point, but I kind of doubt they are waiting around for me to tell them it's okay to delete him.
Eh. I think I'm more diligent about my Facebook than most people. If we haven't spoken in the last year, at least, you usually get deleted. I know I'm in the minority with that attitude, though.
All of my friends were FB friends with MIL and SIL from shower planning and..well.. because someone people friend people based on knowing "of them" so.. whatever.
I don't care if it was rude or I had no place asking or whatever etiquette rules I broke, I texted every single person that was FB friends with me and MIL and SIL and asked that they defriend them. To that, I also stalked two of my friends until they did it.
I don't even care. I have no shame in this, because there is ZERO reason left for them to be connected.
I went ahead and deleted him. He and I aren't friends, so, he can suck it.
You can ask them why they are still friends and hint that they should delete him already. Maybe that will speed up the process.