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Tell me I didn't F up
Sorry this is long.. but I could use some feedback if you are willing to read it all 
So we had a Family Readiness Meeting last night. My husband's unit is split unto companies and each of the companies has a volunteer wife that is a 'mentor" for that company. We are new to the company (heck, new to the Marine Corps he has only been in the fleet since November) and I meet his company's mentor last night. She was really nice, we sat by each other at the meeting, talked to me about a few events that were coming up for the company, talked about kids, etc.
At the end of the night I asked her if she knew what combat replacement meant. My husband was recently put on this for their upcoming deployment and I thought that she would be able to give me a quick answer like "oh it means that he will be doing xyz when they deploy." The problem was that I didn't remember the term combat replacement and just tried to describe it saying something along the lines of "he was put on this list...something like reserve guys or something, right now he isn't training with the rest of the guys he is guarding stuff with the other guys who are on this list." At this point I started to get nervous that maybe I was making it sound like my husband didn't like being on combat replacement (which he actually does) and so I started to try and cover his ass by saying that he wasn't complaining about it (because he wasn't) I was just confused and didn't know what it meant etc (which is the truth).
Well she didn't know either and we went over to our FRO and asked him. He wasn't sure either. Well, she then whipped out her cell phone and texted her husband to ask him (her husband is the company's CO). She did it so quick that I couldn't stop her. There is nooo way that I wanted her to bug my husband's CO with this. When I got home I sent her a message on FB (I didn't have her cell) telling her I talked to my husband and got it all figured out so no need to bug her husband with my questions.
Fast forward to this morning when I get a call from my husband (he was on guard duty all night out where they are training for their pre deployment workup). He told me that he needed to know what I talked to the CO's wife about last night because he got a call from his higher up asking if everything was okay with DH and if he was having problems with the unit and all. I guess his higher up heard his name be brought up when the CO was talking to another guy (probably asking what my DH was doing since my dumb ass couldn't remember the term combat replacement). DH doesn't know exactly what was said or asked since he isn't staying with his unit at the moment. He told his higher up that I just asked her what combat replacement meant and that is all I/he has heard about it since I talked to him an hour ago. He isn't worried and told me that me asking her was fine, that she was more in the wrong.
I seriously feel like shiit about this whole situation. I don't want my husband's name involved in any kind of "drama" or singling out (that he didn't earn himself). Even if I wasn't in the wrong here (my Dh told me that the CO's wife shouldn't have asked her husband like that or if she did she shouldn't have used my DH's name) that now I don't want her looking bad because of me. Also, I'm worried that they are now going to take my DH off of combat replacement because they will think that he was complaining or something about it, which will now be my fault. If I can be honest here, hearing that he is on combat replacement was the only thing kind of holding me together at this point (1st deplpoyment... I'm super scared.. .pregnancy hormones aren't helping anything) and now I'm worried that if he gets taken off because of this situation and something happens to him over there that it will be partly my fault.
Any feedback here? I honestly feel like from now on I can't ask any type of questions to anyone in the unit because it is going to trickle back down to my husband.
Re: Tell me I didn't F up
Why didn't you just ask your husband what it meant?
Regardless if he's telling you not to worry about it don't worry about it.
I did. He was getting different answers from different people so I thought I was just stop bugging him and ask our company mentor.
You're not wrong, she's not wrong, even the higher up who called to make sure (or sent messages down the chain to confirm) that your husband is okay isn't wrong. They know you're both new to this and probably want to make sure you both understand the situation, if I had to guess.
Don't feel badly about it. I sat through a class last week and I didn't understand half the acronyms being used and one of the wing commanders even got flustered with the new terminology. Even some of the lingo we use now is completely different than the lingo we used a decade ago, so it's a constant learning curve.
At my first base, my Lt Col's wife was awesome about answering questions, even if it meant she had to go ask someone else for confirmation about the information she was giving us. She ended up being the best possible "office mom" I could have asked for. She showed up and waited at the hospital while I had surgery and she brought me little care packages when she checked on me at home. I felt so awkward around her at first that I never would have suspected that I would go on to appreciate her so much (I sent her flowers when I outprocessed, which she said nobody had ever done for her since she wasn't technically a member of the office). I guess what I'm saying is, I understand how awkward you probably feel right now, but she may not feel weird about it, she was trying to be helpful, and she could end up being a really wonderful wealth of knowledge or support for you.
I agree with Ojo. Don't worry about it. They know y'all are both new and learning all this as you go.
However, if you husband has questions about an assignment or whatever, he needs to ask. I know first hand how intimidating NCOs can be when you are the low man on the totem pole, but that's what they are there for. It's part of the job to make sure the people below you know what they are doing. If he has a question, he needs to ask his team leader.
I'm in the Air Force, which I know is quite a bit different from the USMC. However, I've been a supervisor and have been special assistant to our commander (not quite secretary, just did special projects for the squadron that didn't fall under other people's job description), so I worked pretty closely with him. Also, being female, I went to some of the "spouse" social functions purely for the opportunity to socialize, but I still picked up a lot of the spouse issues, and became great friends with the commander's wife.
Anyway, it sounds to me like everyone really just wants to make sure you are getting settled and they are trying to be helpful in answering any/all of your questions about USMC life. Trust me, having the CO know your name (and your husband's name) is NOT a bad thing. Commanders like to know their people and families (at least the good ones do) and help whenever they can. I don't think you did anything wrong or said anything wrong, and you can stop worrying about it :-)
This. All of it. (DH is army, so I'd say it transfers well to other services) It sounds more like a "things OK? yep? Cool beans" type of thing, as opposed to serious concern about your husband. I bet next week, they'll barely remember it at all. The CO's wife might remember you as being interested in what your husband is doing, and wanting to learn more about it, which is not a bad thing, either. (considering how long I've been married to my husband, it's somewhat embarrassing that when asked what he does, my best answer is still "powerpoint")
Thanks for all the feedback! My husband was comfortable with the description of the job they gave him, I was just trying to get a clearer explanation from someone on my side of things (another wife).
I talked to my DH again today and he reassured me again that it was nothing. I guess I was just so worried that I was going to become "that wife."
You have nothing to worry about. It really just sounds like she wanted to answer your question (and possibly know the answer for future reference). And, while it seems like a big deal to you that the CO was asked, to her the CO is her husband, so she probably had no reservations shooting him a text asking about something. The fact that your H got a call is not a bad thing, probably just his higher ups making sure everything is cool. Take a deep breath and relax, you didn't do anything wrong.
For what it's worth, I used to be very tense about doing the wrong thing around the other military wives, but nothing you've said here sounds like you made a mistake. You were just curious and wanted clarification, which is a good thing.