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This Sucks
Man, dating sucks. You meet a really great guy, totally hit it off. I really, really felt like he seriously liked me and vice versa. We matched on a spiritual and intellectual level (hard to find) and we had so much fun together. Then he started to get distant all of a sudden. It's confusing. I can only think one of a few things, he doesn't want to date a "divorced" woman (this is all too common Im finding out), he isn't attracted to me or maybe someone else came along. It's the only thing that makes sense... after we went out, I totally felt like he was really into me and then he just got distant and I kind of put my feelers out there gently and he said that yeah, he's at the point of just being friends... that it doesn't necessarily mean it'll never be a thing but right now that is where he is... and of course he is not going to say why... so it really leaves a big ouch in the self-esteem department. I'm 32 and divorced. My husband divorced ME... I had absolutely NO say in it and it went against everything I believe in but here I am and sometimes it feels like my life was ruined over it... that the innocence of love and potential relationships are forever tarnished and my chance at true, innocent love passed... I'm not saying that I can't love again or be loved but it's so much harder doing this after you've been married, after you've found the love of your life and lost him... with so much hurt and so many scars, being older and having that "mark," and knowing what you're missing when you come home alone everyday...
Just needed to vent... this sucks.
Re: This Sucks
Ugh. I'm sorry
That sucks. It's hard when guys DON'T change from the way they were in college, I don't understand why you start to date someone and then decide that you aren't ready for a commitment. Shouldn't you know this before you start dating? Or at least have some idea. Boys are dumb.
Have you thought about doing online dating? I feel like it might be easier to lay all your cards out on the table without actually getting involved. Sure you may get a few weirdos, but it might be fun. Who knows?
I agree with all of the above.
I think you are amazingly strong for putting yourself back out there and being willing to date again. Will it be corny if I say: You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince charming
That's just it though... he's actually a really great guy. I dont think he's afraid of commitment or anything like that... so who knows. It wasn't like we were dating long and I didn't expressly ask him Why... I wasn't comfortable doing that and he didn't offer anything, again, it wasn't like we were serious or anything but it just opens a wound and hits the self-esteem. I wasn't anywhere near ready for a "commitment" per se, but to go from really being interested and clearly wanting to pursue something to just suddenly nothing... it's weird. I dunno, again, maybe he couldn't get passed the big "D" factor or maybe there was an attraction or maybe someon else came along... who knows?
It just makes me still wonder if the love of my life already happened... and the cards only fall perfectly like that once...
The love of your life didn't already happen. If your XH was the love of your life he would have worked through the situation. Not ran from it like a bomb. Not started dating before your divorce was even final.
You are worth it.
Boys are dumb.
I know this seems obvious and I KNOW this. I KNOW that if someone truly was the man intended to be my husband, he would have worked through anything. I KNOW this but it starts to slip my mind. I do need to be reminded. Thank you.
Wendy, thanks... that is encouraging. I know people too who have found love twice and often when the first one went wrong, the love they eventually find blows their mind... it just sucks right now, lol. I appreciate your encouragement and positivity that it will happen. I am praying that soon you girls will be able to say, "I told ya so!!!" I'll be happy to hear it.
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