Sex & Romance
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Clueless about going anal
Made a new avatar cause this is embarrassing...
My DH wants to have anal sex but I'm reluctant. I heard that you won't be able to control your bowels when you get older. Is this true? I'm also afraid that anal is the only kinda sex he'll want. Do lots of people have anal and I'm just not aware of it? Is it the norm? Plus to me this is sodomy and a sin. Am I weird or is DH weird?
Re: Clueless about going anal
Yes. This is why so many gay men have Costco memberships, so that they can purchase their Depends in econo size packages.
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTEPOE5U-swHwCHX_nWH1Rjeqpz-UIhe6ObvL5-EqcUg7D-K9FT
No.
I think Sam's has a better price on depends.
You should try some azzbeads first though to see if you like the sensation
Yeah God won't let your kids go to Sunday school if you do it.
anal sex can be very satisfying when done under the right conditions and with someone who cares about you. First of all, you will not lose control of your bowels when you get older, that is a myth. While he may really enjoy anal, it's highly unlikely that he will never want it the regular way again. As for it being a sin, I personally don't believe it is. I know it sounds kind of trite but I don't believe that anything is a sin if it's done between two consenting adults who love each other and neither party gets hurt.
If you would like to try it, start off slowly and use lots of lube (KY is good, Vaseline works but it's very greasy and it can retain bacteria). So here is what you do:
He can either enter from behind, you on your knees (like doggie style) or in a missionary position but your legs will be over his shoulders and he will enter the anus instead of your vagina.
The most important thing your H needs to know is that he must stop when you tell him to. Trust is key when trying something new that can also be uncomfortable. Then he should start off with lube on his finger and slowly and gently insert his finger inside you, just the tip at first, then if you feel ok, you can let him go a bit deeper. If you feel ok with this, then he can add more lube to you and put a good amount on his penis and place the tip of his penis on your anus. Again, gently he will insert the tip and slowly go a bit deeper. Then, after giving you a chance to get used to it, you can let him know if he can go deeper. He must at all times make sure he is following your lead and going at a pace you are comfortable with. Add more lube as you need it, don't skimp on it, lube is what makes the difference between an amazing feeling and pain.
Unless your H is porn star huge, it shouldn't be uncomfortable with enough lube and enough time for you to get used to him inside you.
The final and most important thing you and your H must agree on is that if you absolutely hate it he must stop and not bug you about it.
Just one more thing, anal feels good for guys too, so if he's not hung up on some macho thing, you could always suggest you try some stuff on him too.
I just wanted to add that once he's been in your behind, he should not enter your vagina. there is bacteria in the anus and you don't want to cross contaminate.
Also, make sure you have had a bowel movement beforehand and there isn't anything up there, that can be kinda gross. And he must urinate afterwards to make sure he's flushed any contaminates or bacteria out of his urethra.
Unless you do it with a goat, God's ok with goats!
Either your SO is small or you've been doing some stretching.
God is definately not okay with goats. Donkeys maybe, but not goats!
Don't let him pressure you into doing something you're not 100% for.:)
I think you should try it. I personally enjoy it but my husband is too big for him to actually penetrate me so we use fingers alot.
That is not ALL my husband wants. If you guys do it the right way and start slow and communicate it can be very satisfying.
Like a PP said do not cross contaminate.
Totally agree! Also, to recommend a good lube, Pure Romance has something called Booty Eaze. Its a numbing gel that you place around the anus. It numbs the area and makes it more comfortable. I am a consultant for Pure Romance if you have any specific questions.
???
Okay, I've never tried anal, but I have read that Booty Eaze (and other numbing creams) is a bad idea because then you can tear and not feel it and get infected and bad things happen.
Am I the only one who's heard this?
No, you are absolutely correct. No one should ever, EVER use any kind of numbing agent around the anus. The pain is there for a reason, it means something's wrong and you should stop or slow down. If your pain receptors are interrupted, and you keep plowing on, you can do serious damage to your anus, rectum and even colon. THEN you'll be at Costco looking for Depends in bulk, or you'll be sporting a shiny new colostomy bag.
Seriously, would anyone think a cook/chef should use a numbing or pain-hiding cream on their hands so they don't feel burns? Booty-Eaze and products like it are just as ridiculous and potentially extremely harmful. The mere fact that they exist enrages me, because these manufacturers prey on a person's ignorance of basic anatomy, and for profit. Then you get these in-home "party" consultants who push these products without any clue how harmful they can be.
~ The Nestie formally known as MrsBrittany ~
Hey! I'm new on the Nest forums, I'm on a day trip from the Bump
I'm just gonna dive right in here- I LOVE anal. Numbing creams? why would you want that?! We just use plenty of mineral oil.
I think it's unfair that it has a reputation as something only dirty-minded men want to do and women just suffer through. It's not, or at least it doesn't have to be. I've been married for ten years so we're really experienced in what the other likes in bed and how hard is acceptable, but if you're unsure just talk to your partner. Don't be afraid to tell him to go slower (or faster) or to stop. It might be a little uncomfortable in the first few seconds but if you think about what's going on, that's to be expected. As you get into it and things loosen up a little it'll get more comfortable and hopefully more pleasurable. I climax a lot easier via anal than the other way but it is something you need to get used to. I would only ever do it with someone I trusted 100%.
And for the record, I've never needed Depends LOL. My butt works just fine
Eleanor Gwendolyn
What does that matter? I climax alot faster this way too!
Don't worry about how you gonna poop when you get old. Take it from a sick pig who wanted this, It's all novelty. He'll want to do it once maybe two times if the opportunity is available. Also if you don't clean it to well before his approach he won't ever return to that area. Might not return at all but thems the breaks. Ohhh and don't make faces of pain. He only wants to stick it in cause hes to small to cause you pain in the pink so hes gotta go for the stink.
I love young lovers, degrading one another, makes you realize a ever lasting love may not be possible with this sick !?
I sell sex toys and I NEVER recommend numbing creams. Especially for first time explorers. Some experienced explorers may add it to their toybox much later in their play but as a rule I say avoid it. You need your pain sensors working for you.
I recommend lots of reading, become familiar with your body, start off slow with gloved fingers and lube, progress as you feel comfortable.
Don't do it all in one night. Don't do it drunk or high.
Have lots of foreplay first, even a few orgasms, this will relax all the muscles in and around the anus.
Read Tickle My Tush by Dr Sadie Allison
And on another note - what is with all the negativity and slut shaming on this site?
If you are here posting in the sex and romance forum, either contribute something positive to the person asking you an intimate question or keep your opinion to yourself.
OPs are not looking for judgement, they are looking for answers to their questions, sheesh.
Cheers to those ladies here who are having good intimate discussions with their mates and are willing to at least talk about sex acts without shooting their partners down, it takes a brave partner to be open and honest and express their fantasies.
If the idea of anal sex is frightening or unappealing or YOU have no interest in doing it.....then for the love of Pete, don't.
Your body is a temple. Its not a playground for his penis. Remember that.