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Today was a rough day for me...
I went in to work this morning thinking I would have an easy, quiet day today. (I'm a beginning violin teacher in elementary schools.) Things changed quite quickly...
During my 3rd class of the morning, I got an email that the administrators were meeting with the entire 4th grade at 10:00 to inform them of some bad news. It turns out one of my students passed away last night. She had a seizure in her sleep, and her mom found her this morning and couldn't revive her. She had been under medical attention for epilepsy, but hadn't been put on meds for it yet. She was only 9....
So not only did we as teachers have to deal with our own grief over losing a student so suddenly (very quickly, I might add), we had to help 9 year olds understand why things like this happen to innocent children. Most of them were openly sobbing when they heard the news, and I think some were scared that it would happen to them, since it happened so fast, and she had seemed fine to everyone yesterday.
Every time I think about it, my eyes well up with tears. She LOVED coming to violin class, and was so excited about being in her first concert with us in May. She was an energetic, enthusiastic little girl with so much love for life.
I think I am going to write her mom a note and send it to her about how much I loved having her in my class, how much she loved playing, and how much she will be missed. I think I want to do something to honor her at our concert in the spring as well, since she was SO looking forward to it. She talked about it every time I saw her. I'm thinking of either keeping her name in the program, even though she is not performing, or dedicating the performance to her memory. Or maybe both, but I don't want to bring down the energy of the evening by drawing the kids' attention to it too much- they are having a really hard time with it, and I don't know how they'll feel then.
I'm sorry to talk about something so sad and depressing on a Friday night, but I really needed to get all of this out, and knew this would be a good place to do it.
Re: Today was a rough day for me...
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From one music teacher to another, I know exactly what you are going through. You may remember my husband's marching band losing their drum major the week of regionals. It is so so so tough. I think it's fine to leave her name in the program, and once the kids start to heal from this, they will appreciate that she is still there in spirit. You can put a little note like "in honorarium" or something like that.
If you ever need to talk, please please please do not hesitate to send me a message (preferably on TK since I don't get on her much yet).
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Thanks, ladies. I appreciate your kind words and T&P's.
I do remember, now that you mention it again. I think it is so hard, because especially as music teachers, we get so close to our students. They also become such a close-knit little group, and it is so hard to lose one, especially in this way. They are so young to be dealing with this!
I'm so sorry Ashley! Hugs to you and your class/students.
I think it would be a nice touch to leave her name in the program, or leave an empty chair on the state for her. Something like that.
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I'm so sorry to hear that!! There's been so many sad stories lately :-( I think that writing a letter would be a great idea
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Thanks everybody.
How does this sound to send to her mom?: (Please be honest- I don't want to say anything wrong!)
I can't imagine how hard this time must be for you and your family with the sudden loss of N. I just wanted to write you a little note telling you how sorry I am for your loss. I had the joy of teaching N the violin this year. She truly loved playing, and brought such an energy and enthusiasm to our class. She was always so excited when she learned something new, and loved to show me what she had been practicing in the week before. I will really miss seeing her in class, and I know that I will remember her and her beautiful smile always. I will continue to remember your family in prayer and pray for God's peace in this difficult time.
I am so sorry to hear that, I can't imagine how hard that is. I cried reading everything you said.
The note seems perfect. I'm sure it'll comfort the parents a little bit.
I'm so sorry to hear this. Hugs for you. It's hard enough to deal with this yourself, let alone help your students understand it.
When May gets closer and you know how you'll honor her, you should definitely invite her parents to the concert. Things will quiet down for them by then and it will be nice for them to know that people still care/miss their little girl too.
Thanks again everybody. It's still all I can think about today.
CEO, I'll definitely be checking with admin before I do anything, but I'm sure they won't mind me doing something. That school is a very close-knit family, which is actually how he broke the news to them yesterday. He said that he considered "our school name" to be a family, and families sometimes have bad things happen to them, and that we had lost one of our family members over night. I thought it was a very sensitive, age-appropriate way to talk about it.