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Why doesn't this make me happy? (vent)
In the past 2 days, despite that fact that DH has been working crazy hours to finish up a project and our nanny was sick this week, I managed to meet my goal and actually finish drafts (1 first, 1 second) of not one, but two chapters for my PhD. I sent them to my adviser and yes, I'll have to revise them, but I should be ecstatic. I should be celebrating and patting myself on the back, maybe giving myself a day or two off to read for fun. Instead, I'm just continuing to plod along, just sort of going "meh" about the whole thing.
For those of you who have BTDT, did this happen to you at some point in the process? For my MA thesis I had a mini-celebration with myself and DH, some wine, and a pizza or other yummy treat almost every time I finished a chapter. This is obviously a longer deal, so maybe it's normal to just not care as much in the middle of the project? Any thoughts?
So, to end on a good note, yay! I finished drafts of two dissertation chapters! (but I'm still just not feeling the exclamation points...)
Re: Why doesn't this make me happy? (vent)
I remember hte feeling of relief, but it's such a long haul, it's hard to have a proper feeling of relaxation and celebration after a chapter - esp as yousay when you know you'll need to revise it, etc. I think sometimes we might have had a mini 'Friday night' kind of thing - you know, a night off work, a break before shifting gears. But others, you just want to jump into hte next one...
In a nutshell, absolutely normal. And good job on the chapter drafts!
I haven't written a dissertation (yet), but I do know that when I finish papers I've been stressing over for awhile it's always anticlimactic. After I've been writing and rewriting and rereading the whole thing for so long, it blurs the lines a bit.
Maybe if you give yourself a couple days off then you'll be able to enjoy the feeling more. Let it sink a bit.
And congrats!
I'm glad to hear it's normal:-) I guess I'm just looking at my list of next steps and going, ok, #4 down, moving on to #5...
Lurker here, but your post so resonated with me that I had to comment! I am in the final push with my dissertation - a few last tweaks before sending off to the committee. When I completed an entire solid draft of the whole thing (770 pages) and gave it to my advisor last month, I felt kind of like you - meh. I had expected to feel all great and ecstatic, but it was just meh. I don't know if it is because I have been working on it so long, because no one else really gets what has gone in to it to celebrate with me or what, but it has definitely been an anti-climatic experience.
I hope that finishing it and defending are more exciting to me!
Hang in there!