BNOTB
My Favorite Part of Spring~Red Sox Baseball!
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Open Letters, anyone?
Dear DH,
I am sorry that me trying to surprise you in the shower today was not sexy as I had hoped. I apologize for being a creep.
Signed,
Your lame wife
My Favorite Part of Spring~Red Sox Baseball!
Re: Open Letters, anyone?
Aw!
I'm a little confused because logically you'd think this would be a fool-proof plan. What went wrong? (If you don't mind me asking)
Dear Men of the world,
I wish that you experience the pain of cramps once in your life, so when I asked for quiet time and a heating pad you wouldn't look at me like an alien.
Signed,
Please leave me alone.
Dear kitty cat,
Please don't tear open the bag of hard food and leave a mess in the pantry. Your bowl is full.
Signed,
Frustrated cat mama
Dear DH,
You suck majorly for leaving a clogged toilet to sit....toilets do NOT unclog themselves. Waking up at 5:30 and going to use the toilet to discuss that nastiness and the smell of it was disgusting. I realize you weren't trying to be a douche and thought it made sense, but you suck.
Also, thanks for not having any gas in the car. I wasn't even sure if I'd make it to my first day of work.
Signed,
Your pretty ticked off wife
:::I know DH sounds like he sucks majorly, and right now he does, but he's mostly a pretty great guy....he just wasn't thinking straight:::
Dear Neighbor,
Every single day, I have to listen to your kids scream. This is not normal "I'm happy and I'm playing screaming". It's "I sound like I'm being brutally murdered" screaming. I listen to it beginning in the early morning and late at night.
Shut them the f*ck up already.
Signed,
Your neighbor who thinks your kids suck
Well, when I got in he started talking so I just stood there listening. He talked for a couple of minutes, and then he asked why I wasn't getting out. I was like, "uhhhh"...and it was awkward. So I fessed up with my intentions, and we had a good laugh. While it was an epic fail, we made plans for a little later.
Dear Pinky,
Just stop with the hurting. I'm tired of icing you. We have work to do, so stop with your bitchin. Keep it up and I'll splint your ass.
Dear H,
Stop leaving your stuff in my truck. I don't wanna drive all the way to wherever you are working today to give it back. I have a nap planned, don't you know?
Dear Weird Thing Growing on My Face,
Go away.
Dear Bucktown/Wicker Park Neighbors,
You people are nasty! Why on earth would you own a dog and walk him and not pick up his or her doody. Now, I have to step in it and watch my every step to see if I do not later smell like doggy doo. If you don't like to bend down and pick it up yourself please make sure that you get a pooper scooper. I can refer you to select places if you like. You are the reason that we have huge nasty rats hanging out in our pretty neighborhood.
Sincerely,
That Angry Black Girl in the house full of Mexicans
Dear Next Door Neighbor,
TURN
Dear Bucktown/Wicker Park Neighbors,
You people are nasty! Why on earth would you own a dog and walk him and not pick up his or her doody. Now, I have to step in it and watch my every step to see if I do not later smell like doggy doo. If you don't like to bend down and pick it up yourself please make sure that you get a pooper scooper. I can refer you to select places if you like. You are the reason that we have huge nasty rats hanging out in our pretty neighborhood.
Sincerely,
That Angry Black Girl in the house full of Mexicans
Dear Next Door Neighbor,
TURN
YOURDear back muscles,
Screw off. I know you like to play this game with me every year but I don't have time for it right now. I hate you.
Annoyed,
Girl who is already behind with half marathon training plan
Dear Bucktown/Wicker Park Neighbors,
You people are nasty! Why on earth would you own a dog and walk him and not pick up his or her doody. Now, I have to step in it and watch my every step to see if I do not later smell like doggy doo. If you don't like to bend down and pick it up yourself please make sure that you get a pooper scooper. I can refer you to select places if you like. You are the reason that we have huge nasty rats hanging out in our pretty neighborhood.
Sincerely,
That Angry Black Girl in the house full of Mexicans
Also. . .
Dear Next Door Neighbor,
TURN YOUR D*** MUSIC DOWN!!! We get it, you are trying to fight aging by having your DJ music on and multiple orgies a night. I do not wish to hear that crap. Next time, I am calling the police.
Sincerely,
Your Chiropractic Neighbor
P.S.- I will NOT teach you how to adjust spines since you are a Physical Therapist. You suck.
Dear pain in my side,
Go away, please. I don't want to go to the doctor and you are almost driving me to that point.
Signed,
body that likes to be pain free
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear H,
I wish you would have considered using those free Rockets tickets you happen to get this weekend, instead of giving them away to someone else. I have never been to a Rockets game and that would have been a really nice treat, even though I am not the biggest basketball fan.
Maybe next time you'll check with me before you blabb to someone else about getting tickets and get convinced to give them away because they would "enjoy it more"?
Signed,
disappointed sports fan and your loving wife
Ah, ok. That sounds like a little bit of lame H instead of lame W. At least there's plans in the works for next time!
Dear Computer,
ACT RIGHT! Or else I will go broke getting an Apple computer!
Signed,
Your disgruntled owner
Dear H,
I am sorry for my complete and utter freak out Saturday afternoon complete with f-bombs, steering wheel slamming and driving faster than I should. I am also sorry I was in too much of a rush to stop and have you look at my brake light to make sure it was working. I am sorry once we got to our friend's house you then drove back home to get the truck with functioning brake lights.
In my defense, STOP MAKING ME LATE FOR THINGS. Oh wait... I was done with the yelling. OK, In my defense, please realize it takes you longer to get ready than you normally allow and let's try to be on time for a change, yes?
Thanks,
Your impatient wife
No epic fail! more of a things to do different next time!
Next time - shut him up with a kisss - he'll get the point
Dear Migraines
I am really tired of you showing up. I really wish I knew how to cure you and be rid of you forever, but I bet I'm stuck with you for forever. It sucks when you show up when I'm working, when H wants sexy time or when I'm trying to do school work. You suck, go die.
Signed,
The girl whose left eye is partially closed due to a migraine
Dear H,
I love you and appreciate that you do the laundry sometimes for me but only washing YOUR clothes has to stop. Take the time, sort them out and wash them. Your stuff and my stuff can be washed together. I understand you like to do your work uniforms separate, and that's fine! I don't want grease on my clothes either. I do appreciate that much. Also, letting the clothing sit in the basket for a week will stop. If you need more hangers, let me know! They cost $1.17 for 10 plastic ones. I'll be happy to go pick some up from Wal Mart or Target.
Signed
Your lovely wife
Dear Government,
Please stop passing regulations based on other people's stupidity that leave no room for common sense when dealing with responsible citizens. Also, please stop bickering amongst yourselves like kindergarteners. It is absurd.
Dear H,
I appreciate you cleaning, helping out around the house, etc. However, please let me know when you would like my help instead of just handing me items when I'm in the middle of doing something else, expecting me to know what you want me to do with them.
Dear Skyrim,
Please accidentally crash so that my H and I are relieved of our addiction to you. We are not gamers, we don't spend hours after work playing video games... until we met you. You are like a drug. If you should somehow crash, we will be devastated, but not enough to spend another 40 hours working up to the level we are at, and will return to our usual hobbies. It's not you, Skyrim, it's us. We are powerless against your charms and your alchemy labs. If you love us, set us free.
Dear Nest,
please stop eating my posts.
signed,
the person that still can't get pics in their sig.