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vent...my brother
My brother is so selfish! Let me start off by saying ....he has a lot of issues. Hes been an alcoholic since he has been 14 and has been clean for over a year now. He has post traumatic stress from Iraq (served 2 times). I get it fine. But everything is always about him. He always blows his family off to do absolutely nothing or whatever the hell he does. when he wants to be the one to see us...we always drop everything because we dont know when the next chance will be.
...so here is what is pissing me off now...
my sister is moving into her new apt and needs help moving couches. He first said he could help my husband then has been complaining ever since he has a commitment meeting today at 6:30 ...fine. not a big deal...My husband is going to be there at 3 to pick up the couches...seriously the place is 30 mins from where they will be. (not even 30 mins but consider traffic). He said do you know i've been up since 3:30am? (he drives a garbage truck) ...I'm like so what is your point? this is your every day life. Finally i said don't F'n come and help I dont care. and hung up on him. My brother is just the most unreliable person EVER! one day he seems like he wants to help or do stuff with us the next minute it changes. I'm just so done tip toeing around him! If he didn't want to help he should have just said so! but excuses only make me more angry!!!! (by the way I am doing most of the arranging for my sister because she is a teacher and is at school for inservice today and couldn't really talk)
blah!
Re: vent...my brother
I'm sorry. Dealing with unreliable people is the bane of my existence.
Lower your expectations if you want to have a relationship with him. Assume the worst so when it works out better than that, you're happy with it. Otherwise, it's going to eat you up inside. Most likely he isn't going to change, so you have to change your thinking. You shouldn't have to tip-toe or walk on eggshells around him...but I wouldn't be calling on him for help either.
That's really all you can do or he will always be a source of extreme frustration.
:-(
i agree with tara. lower your expectations. my brother is a huge pita. if there was a live action movie about eyore my brother would play eyore. its annoying. yes he's had a tough go.
but i did what tara did. i lowered my expecatations. and he's MUCH more tolerable. if he whines. i give him advice and he doesn't want to listen. im like ok i tried. (it also helps he's clear across the country lol)
my mom is always like edd's a special egg. he needs coaxing. and for a while my other brother and i where like special egg WHATEV. but we've come to realize. that if we keep our expecations low i can have a relationship without him driving me up a wall, lol
sorry