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Tuesday Confessions

(XP from BNOTB I know there are a lot of rescue folks here)

Here's mine. Dealing with the dog we found a couple of weekends ago has made me realize two things:

1. We cannot handle another dog right now. A simple 2 hour car ride felt like the longest ever, juggling 2 dogs in and out of the house has been a huge headache not to mention we share a yard with a couple who has 3 dogs, 1 of which has already been in a fight with the new dog a few times so someone has to supervise at all times now... it's been a madhouse. We travel out of town every weekend and it's obvious that we'd have to board the new dog every time we leave, which doesn't seem fair or cost efficient.

2. This experience has really discouraged me from ever taking in a stray dog again. I've become an advocate for rescuing vs. breeding since I've learned so much in the last year and a half, but this is my first time actually "rescuing" and it has not been a positive experience. The shelters in the county where we found him were not helpful- wouldn't even let us bring him in to be scanned for a microchip or let us leave his info with them- and I had a friend who said she was interested in him so we took him from my inlaws and brought him home with us. Naturally, the friend flaked out and said she decided to save for a horse instead (?), so I called the shelter here about taking him. Well, since he's from out of county and is considered an owner surrender, it is $50 for them to take him, but there's still a waiting list before they can take him. They couldn't give me an idea of how long the wait might be.

One of two things will happen if we don't get him adopted out or into the shelter soon. Either we're going to get even more attached to this dog and get in over our heads and be stressed out by having two dogs, or we're going to lose patience with the whole situation and resort to putting ads on Craigslist. 

Obviously, the optimism I felt last week has died and been replaced with doubt and stress.

We're also TTC and while the idea of our current dog + baby certainly seems manageable, the idea of current dog + new dog + a baby is overwhelming.

Flame away or give me advice/encouragement. I'm all ears.

Re: Tuesday Confessions

  • Can you find rescue backing somewhere else and get him transported to a different foster? What kind of dog is he? I am so behind, haven't been hanging around the board too much...was it the black fluffy one? 

    Try not to be too discouraged. Some shelters are super helpful, some suck.  Don't let it discourage you from picking up strays.

    My confession: the next person who bitches about how they never see me, or how busy I am because of school, is getting an earful. I appreciate that people want to spend time with me, but stop trying to make me feel guilty. I am 8 months out from graduation. They are not going to be there, holding my hand when I take finals or the NCLEX, and I am the one who's studying, staying home all the time, and trying to stay top of the class. So shut the hell up. Jesus.

    Whew, I feel better. lol 

     

  • I'm so sorry you're having a bad experience with rescuing. I would definitely try to find another shelter that may be able to take him or like ARO suggested, getting backing and finding him another foster. 

    Confession: I am definitely NOT a dog person, but being on this board more regularly has made me have doggie dreams! I think I may warm up to the idea of a pup in the future :) Right now I'm happy with our little family and I don't think we'll be adopting a dog any time soon, but I could see getting one after having kids when they're a little older now, which was never an option before. 

  • imageARO1018:

    Can you find rescue backing somewhere else and get him transported to a different foster? What kind of dog is he? I am so behind, haven't been hanging around the board too much...was it the black fluffy one? 

    Try not to be too discouraged. Some shelters are super helpful, some suck.  Don't let it discourage you from picking up strays.

    My confession: the next person who bitches about how they never see me, or how busy I am because of school, is getting an earful. I appreciate that people want to spend time with me, but stop trying to make me feel guilty. I am 8 months out from graduation. They are not going to be there, holding my hand when I take finals or the NCLEX, and I am the one who's studying, staying home all the time, and trying to stay top of the class. So shut the hell up. Jesus.

    Whew, I feel better. lol 

     

    That's what confession threads are for!

    I'm not sure how to go about getting backing by another shelter or finding another foster... if someone can tell me where to start I can get on that!

    Here's some pics of him:

    image 

    image 

    I took him to the vet yesterday and he weighed in at 54lbs, no fleas, ears are pretty clean, teeth are great, and he's about a year old. He looks to bee a spitz mix of some kind, and if you google "black Norwegian elkhound" he is identical to a picture of one, white spot on the chest and all! I seriously doubt he's purebred anything, though.

  • I can try encouragement.  Right before Christmas we agreed to foster a puppy from a Mill situation for a regular on this Board.  He has been a boatload of work and his rescue is 11 hrs from us.  We finally got him listed with my local rescue on petfinder and have been taking him to adoption events, so we're making progress on getting him adopted.  We've been following a very strict schedule with constant supervision when he isn't crated and he has been flourishing with the very clear structure, routine, and lots of exercise.  At first I was overwhelmed b.c. we've never had a puppy before but once I decided to take a step back, be positive and re-focus on treating him as an individual and meeting his individual needs it has been much, much better.  The best is that he wants so badly to please that by setting him to succeed and taking baby steps he is so happy and I swear, proud of himself.  Every night he throws himself at one of us for snuggles.  Sure there are stresses (our cat keeps attacking him and pooping in the basement) but he'll be adopted by someone who loves him and it will be well worth it.

    You need to find a low cost vet to work with you, a rescue to back you, adoption events for him to attend, someone who will post him on petfinder and take pictures and write him a glowing bio.  In terms of taking care of him in the house, what does he need?  Has he had obedience training?  Are you doing NILF?  Is he crated?  potty trained?  Exercise routine?  Can he go to the dog park, for walks, can you run him?  What types of toys are you using for mental stimulation?  What specific issues are making it overwhelming for him to be in the house?

    This is part of why I bust my butt for our local dog rescue in any way that I can.  Not only do I get to help them with everything they do, but they help me when I find strays and need vetting/posting/etc.

    image "...Saving just one pet won't change the world...but, surely, the world will change for that one pet..."
  • BTW our foster is in my siggie, you can click his Petfinder link to see his bio.  Linzem took his picture and I like it a lot b.c. I think it captures his personality PERFECTLY.  I point those out just because they are good example of how to do pics and bio (I didn't write his bio either, lol).  When I do out of pocket fosters I do list them on craigslist if I don't have rescue backing and make people fill out an application and pay a fee (I set the fee based on what the shelter charges).  You have to screen through a lot of shitty applications, but I normally find one or two good people.
    image "...Saving just one pet won't change the world...but, surely, the world will change for that one pet..."
  • I think it's overwhelming mainly because I'm NOT able to give Kita (new pup) the individual attention he needs with Miko (our dog) around, and thus I haven't been treating him as part of the family. I have been doing NILIF with him since we brought him home, and taught him how to walk on a leash, sit, down, shake, and not jumping.

    I do want to crate train him, I'm just not sure how to go about it with Miko in the house... we just got Miko to where he can be alone in the house out of his crate, so I don't know if it'll stress Kita out too much to see Miko roaming the house while he's in the crate, or if it will calm him. 

    You can tell that he really wants to please, but he's SO high energy and neurotic that he gets in his own way sometimes. I'm working on teaching him patience, though. 

    I watched It's Me or the Dog videos all last week, took notes, and have worked on giving Miko treats whenever Kita comes around.

    Miko is having issues with Kita in the house and around me, but they play wonderfully together outside. They did get in a fight last night and I didn't see how it started but I'm suspecting Kita tried to hump him - Kita humps like it's going out of style and needs to be neutered ASAP - which is how Kita got into a fight with the neighbor's dog... the neighbor dog had had enough.

    I've been looking up tips on how to photograph black dogs this morning, so when I get home I'll play around with the camera to try and get better pics of him... he's really a beautiful dog!

    ETA: I can't tell if he's house trained or not since we keep such a close eye on him, but he hasn't tried to mark inside (but he does everywhere outside) so that's a good sign to me.

    Also, does being backed by a shelter mean they'll pay for the neuter, shots, food, etc if you keep them in your house and train them? Another huge concern is what to do with him when we go out of town... could a shelter keep him for a couple of nights while we're gone? Pay for boarding/sitting? 

  • We crate the puppy and not our own dog; our dog will actually go sit by the crate to comfort the puppy if he is upset sometimes.  But Darwin has played by our rules for 2 years and proven himself trustworthy, Eddie hasn't so he is crated.  We have different rules for them and that is 100% ok so long as you are consistent and communicate the rules to them.  We also only leave them unsupervised together for short periods of time with no treats/chews around b.c. they do disagree over how to share a bully stick.

    I wonder if part of the issue is that you feel guilty treating them differently/  Don't.  You have to do what is best for each dog individually.

    image "...Saving just one pet won't change the world...but, surely, the world will change for that one pet..."
  • imagekellbell1919:


    I wonder if part of the issue is that you feel guilty treating them differently/  Don't.  You have to do what is best for each dog individually.

    I was just thinking about this... I do feel guilty about treating them differently. I also feel guilty because I'm not sure that we'll be able to feed the new dog as well (raw) as Miko. The new dog is on TOTW now.

  • As far as the first step to getting rescue backing - look up local rescues in your area and ask if they will "courtesy list" the dog for you.  This means that you will continue fostering him as you are and they will list him on Petfinder and you can take him to adoption events.  At least this is how it works with the rescue I volunteer for.  It depends on the rescue on whether or not they will back you for costs.  I can't imagine them paying for boarding though.  Sorry that you are in a tough situation.  Don't feel bad for deciding 2 dogs is too many - it great that you are helping him out in the way that you can. 
    Never, never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way."
    - Martin Luther King Jr.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • You got some great advice here. The only other encouragement I would add is to be patient. When we got our second dog, there were many times when I felt overwhelmed & thought I made a big mistake. It gets easier with time. Once he gets fixed will make a big difference too.
    Remember, everyone's still getting used to each other. Once they get comfortable in their routine, things will settle down.
    Also, try to look at it from the new dog's point of view. All these things are new, new people, dogs, surroundings, rules, etc. He's trying to figure everything out too. It's like he's on a different planet now. No one speaks his language & even the other dogs do things differently. That's got to be hard on him.
    PitaPata Dog tickers PitaPata Dog tickers BabyName Ticker
  • Thank you all for the advice. We're going to a foster orientation at the shelter either today or tomorrow to get some more information.. it seems like the way to go but still doesn't help with the travel/boarding issue.
  • imageMissusMcElroy:
    imagekellbell1919:


    I wonder if part of the issue is that you feel guilty treating them differently/  Don't.  You have to do what is best for each dog individually.

    I was just thinking about this... I do feel guilty about treating them differently. I also feel guilty because I'm not sure that we'll be able to feed the new dog as well (raw) as Miko. The new dog is on TOTW now.

     

    That's the biggest thing about rescuing.  Remember, he's not yours.  He's not part of your family.  You need to keep a certain level of aloofness in training and attention giving.  It's ok to go places with just you and your dog.  It's ok to have just you and your dog time.  When we have fosters, we keep a crate in the living room so we can watch tv in the evening and have cuddle time with just our dogs.  We typically feed separately.  I also train separately.  If I'm working with a foster, I baby gate.  If I want to leash train a foster, I take him out by himself.  If my own dog is getting high valued treats, the foster gets crated before we begin.

    We also feed differently.  We feed foster whatever rescue can buy, and our dogs get their normal fare.  Like PPs have said, send out his information to all all-breed rescues local to you, as well as shepherd/herding breed rescues you can find.  Hopefully one will be able to identify him and help with adoption.  The biggest thing:  get him out there.  Get a nice necktie, write ADOPT ME on it, and walk him around your local Petsmart and Home Depot (if they allow). 

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  • imageagoodse:
    imageMissusMcElroy:
    imagekellbell1919:


    I wonder if part of the issue is that you feel guilty treating them differently/  Don't.  You have to do what is best for each dog individually.

    I was just thinking about this... I do feel guilty about treating them differently. I also feel guilty because I'm not sure that we'll be able to feed the new dog as well (raw) as Miko. The new dog is on TOTW now.

     

    That's the biggest thing about rescuing.  Remember, he's not yours.  He's not part of your family.  You need to keep a certain level of aloofness in training and attention giving.  It's ok to go places with just you and your dog.  It's ok to have just you and your dog time.  When we have fosters, we keep a crate in the living room so we can watch tv in the evening and have cuddle time with just our dogs.  We typically feed separately.  I also train separately.  If I'm working with a foster, I baby gate.  If I want to leash train a foster, I take him out by himself.  If my own dog is getting high valued treats, the foster gets crated before we begin.

    We also feed differently.  We feed foster whatever rescue can buy, and our dogs get their normal fare.  Like PPs have said, send out his information to all all-breed rescues local to you, as well as shepherd/herding breed rescues you can find.  Hopefully one will be able to identify him and help with adoption.  The biggest thing:  get him out there.  Get a nice necktie, write ADOPT ME on it, and walk him around your local Petsmart and Home Depot (if they allow). 

    Thank you!

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