working moms of 2+ when will i find my balance

mrs.marie.g

well ok realistically i will never find a balance. but i am having a REALLY hard time adjusting right now. i feel so rushed at night and the fact that he's awake for like 20 minutes by the time i get home makes me feel AWESOME.

I am having a hard time balancing giving both kids attention (well its easier once cole is asleep which happens fairly quick after i get home) but i hate having to tell belle shhhhhhhhhh be quiet. no i can't play right now i am giving cole his bottle ect.

then its make dinner and clean and make bottles for the next day.

i feel like my house is even MORE  of a disaster

and i feel like when i am at work i am just thinking about them all day. its probally because he's sick right now.

but i feel sucky as a mom right now. when will i get into my groove. i've been back to work since just after new years 

AlXaNgEl

Sorry you're having a hard time.  But, know that you are not alone in feeling this way.  I actaully posted earlier this week asking how working moms hand it all: http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/62064517.aspx

 

 

knare

I wish I had the answer.  Abby is 4 and Chloe is 19 months and although I feel like I have a routine I'm not quite sure it's a groove.  It never feels smooth; if you know what I mean.  It's all a HUGE effort to get everything done every night and still find a smidgeon of time for myself.  My husband leaves for work at 6:30 in the morning and gets home about 7:30pm so all childcare responsibilities during the week fall on my shoulders even though I work full time as well.  I guess I'm just comiserating with you.

wed2506

A will be one next month and I am only now beginning to find balance...I answered post referenced above. Try not to be too hard on yourself and take baby steps...definitely helps to have a routine and stick to it! GL

Liz051405

I'm starting to find a real balance. I was struggling so much that I ended up having to see a therapist for depression, but I managed to avoid any meds for it.

Anyway, some days are a lot tougher than others, but I've gotten over the guilt of telling Matthew he needs to take a backseat to his brother sometimes because I know he understands. If Shawn is really fussy I will set M up with a movie or playdoh or art and ask him to please play by himself. And now he gets to do special projects with me after S is in bed if he is good. Most days now though he will actually play with S to help me.

MH is not really here much before bedtime but I have really pushed him to help more in the AMs and when he is here. Most of the work still falls on me though.

One thing that has REALLY helped me is to make a written menu for the week and make as many crockpot or just reheat meals as possible. This way I have dinner on the table within 15 minutes of walking in the door. This is critical to the rest of the night working.

MH and I prep the lunches for both kids before bed.

As far as the messy house... somethings I have to let slip. Otherwise MH and I have agreed to stop watching so much TV at night time. We also came up with a bit of a schedule for cleaning that has us clean certain areas of the house a few nights a week. I know "cleaning schedules" got made fun of here, but we agreed to it and its actually cut down on the stress here and given us more free time because we work together to get it done.

It's still a work in progress but it helps.

mrs.marie.g

thanks ladies. this helps and i am going to check out the other post.

liz-i am feeling alot of anxiety over this and getting depressed and  i am SO not good at discussing my feelings lol. but i feel i am headed in that direction.

ken helps and does stuff. but its just so hard. argh

thank god once a month i have a cleaner cause once a month my house gets cleaned lol. like clean clean.

 

BeachBaby07

Marie if it makes you feel better, I stay home and I was a total wreck and it took me 18 months at least to figure out how the heck to handle 2 kids at once. I just turned it around by focusing on what I was doing right. Even the tiniest things. I couldnt really do anything about all the things I was doing wrong. They ate crappy, they watched a lot of TV, I couldnt always read bedtime stories for 1/2 hour each night like I did before, I yelled a lot about everything.......It was basic survival and I just started taking it day by day and just getting us to the following morning in one piece. I did talk to a therapist a few times and that helped and I just really gave myself a break. But it was HARD, really hard and I cant imagine going to work everyday and not being able to control it all. That must make it even harder for you. I hope as your son gets older it does get easier. One day it just kind of gets a little easier, and you have a couple good days in a row and you get a breather. Warm weather & sunshine usually helps too

mj1014

Its hard to find balance.  I found solace in knowing that I am not alone and that every working mom struggles with the same thing....knowing this somehow helped me.  Sometimes I see these moms and they seem so together and have everything under control and I think wow, how come I am such a mess?  I think everyone feels the same from time to time.  HUGS and just know you are not alone!