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I don't know what to do.
Normally I post on The Bump, but I know you ladies might have some good advice for me.
I have 2 cats-they're almost 11 years old and littermates. I adore them with everything in me. Over Christmas, we noticed one had gotten really really thin, and thought his thyroid meds needed to be adjusted. I feel horrible that I didn't notice sooner that he'd lost weight, but I'd just had a baby, and both of them back off a little when we bring a baby home. Anyway, he'd gone from 11 lbs to 8, and blood tests showed his thyroid was fine. Turns out he's in liver failure because of a huge tumor in his abdomen. There's nothing left to be done, and our vet recommends euthanasia when we're ready.
Here's my dilemma. I don't know how to decide when I'm ready. He's stopped eating for the most part, won't eat any of his favorite foods even...just a little canned food once a day. He's just laying around, and I've found him sleeping in DH's bathtub a couple of times, which he's never done before. He's also lost a lot more weight--definetely under 7 lbs. He is just skin and bones at this point. (He lost over a pound in 10 days) However, he doesn't appear to be in obvious pain, and he still likes to be around us for the most part. He isn't peeing/pooping/puking anywhere other than the litter box
The other day, I was feeling strong and made the appt for Wednesday morning, because DH can be home with me, and DD1 will be at preschool. Now I'm feeling like I should wait until he's really doing badly. I don't know if its kinder to let him go now before things get worse, or keep doing what we're doing for a while. I don't think it will be long either way, but I want to make the right decision Selfishly, I want to get this over with, because DH and I are complete wrecks, and I can't take too many more days like this. Also selfishly, I want to keep him around as long as I possibly can. How do I decide?
This got long...thanks for reading.
Re: I don't know what to do.
Oh my gosh, I could have written almost this same thing in November. I had two cats (see siggy) who were brother and sister, and 11 years old. KittyCat lost weight and stopped eating, x-rays showed a mass on his lung (pretty sure it was lung cancer). So eerily similar!
It was so hard to make the call, so I feel your pain. I don't think any of us here can tell you when the right time is - you have to make that call. When I finally made the call for my KittyCat, it was awful and so painful for me, but it was time. I didn't want him to die from starving to death. He started looking uncomfortable. Although he would purr when I was with him, he wasn't resting well. I knew it was time. Looking back, I probably dragged it out a few more days than I should have. I don't think there is a "perfect day" to do it. I think there is a window.... there is too soon (which you are past, I think) and there is too late. But there's a range in the middle where you just need to be ready to let go and say goodbye.
My heart breaks for you, especially since this is all so fresh for me. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I wish you much strength as you get through this.
I'm so sorry. You need to do what your heart tells you. For me, I didn't want my dog to get to where he was genuinely miserable. I would urge to you consider whether you want to keep him alive for his sake, or for yours. Sparing our animals from unnecessary pain is one of the few things we can do for them at the end of their lives. I know we want to cherish every single moment that they're still pretty much OK, except, at some point, they're not. I didn't want my dog to get to that point, knowing that end result was going to be the same.
I know how difficult this decision is.
I am so sorry that your family is facing this loss. Hugs to you.
Choosing the "right" time is never easy, and I think it is a really personal decision. People often say that "you'll know", but I've not really felt like there was a clear decision point when I was in the moment. I've never regretted letting a pet go before their quality of life is gone.
We were in a similar situation. Sophia reached a point where she would not eat, could not use her back legs well, didn't want to be touched, and would lay under a chair in the corner all day. I realized she was miserable and even though she would come and sit with me, I think she was comforting me if anything. At the time it was really hard, but basically a lightbulb went off and in retrospect, it was the right decision. A friend told me she was ready to go, she was holding on for me, to make me feel better, and waiting for me to be ready. And he was 100% correct. Once I realized that and came to peace with it, my decision was a lot easier.
I'm not saying you all are at that point, I think I'm saying to be easy on yourself and do what you feel is best. It's not an easy decision and there is no 100% right time.