Moms of "only one child"

Houstonmom

This is circulating through my Facebook friends and I had to share with the nesties.

Love it and I hope you like it too

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/to-the-mother-with-only-one-child

TexasAgMel

Tears! That was great, thanks for sharing! 

miss67c

this is awesome!

Temp38995750004016

Interesting.

I'm already struggling with practically every one I come across asking when we are going to have another one, and then feeling judged when I tell them we probably won't.  It's due to medical reasons, but I don't think it's anyone's business but our own.  If someone chose to have five kids, I would never try to talk them out of it, so why do people feel compelled to try to talk me into having another one?  So irritating.

SigmundsGirl

pook:

Interesting.

I'm already struggling with practically every one I come across asking when we are going to have another one, and then feeling judged when I tell them we probably won't.  It's due to medical reasons, but I don't think it's anyone's business but our own.  If someone chose to have five kids, I would never try to talk them out of it, so why do people feel compelled to try to talk me into having another one?  So irritating.

We got that a lot as Evan was approaching one. Now that he is almost two you'd think we had committed a crime. Now that we are ready to try for another I was actually more irritated when a nighbor's reaction was, "really? you want another?" Just because she only wanted one, but ended up with twins doesn't make us odd for wanting another.

 

Bottom line is people think your reproductive status is their business no matter if you want one, twelve, or none. 

ccc'swife

pook:

Interesting.

I'm already struggling with practically every one I come across asking when we are going to have another one, and then feeling judged when I tell them we probably won't.  It's due to medical reasons, but I don't think it's anyone's business but our own.  If someone chose to have five kids, I would never try to talk them out of it, so why do people feel compelled to try to talk me into having another one?  So irritating.

I empathize.  Almost everyone who I tell that I only want one (and basically, anyone who knows me well KNOWS that I've pretty much always wanted only one) is like "REALLY?  Only one?  Awww", like it's some sort of crime (unless they're one and done, too, which is few and far between).  So, what's the "perfect" number of kids?  Two?  Three?  Once you get past that, it seems like it's too many and people tend to pity you because you're so busy with so many kids.  It seems like the American norm is 2 kids, so anything that deviates from that gets judgment.

I am HAPPY with my sweet, small family of three.  I don't want more than one kid, I don't want a big family, I don't like chaos, and I don't want to go through pregnancy/labor/delivery/newborn stage stuff ever again.  Why people feel the need to judge choices is beyond me.  I don't gasp at people who are having MORE than one child! 

Temp38995750004016

The thing is, I wanted two, probably three.  Now that I know it's probably not possible, I try not to dwell on it.  I hate feeling judged or that others think I'm selfish for not procreating more.  Maybe they aren't really judging, maybe it's just projecting my own feelings.  But anyway, yeah it really stinks!

Singlesuz

I completely empathize! I only want one. Thats it one sweet angel! It was hard enough gettting him here. I actually got told the other day that "since I'm getting up there in age" I need to hurry and find someone so I can have another baby. Umm hello, I'm not even a year out of my divorce yet and you want me to find some randon person and get KU!

Some people are so judgy no matter what.

Houstonmom

People need to mind their own reproductive business. Totally agree. Some of the comments/questions I've had now that I'm pregnant with my 3rd are ridiculous. 

 But I'm glad the article writer said what she said bc mothers need to know that mothers support each other, regardless of the amount of children they have. I may be alone in this but when I was a new mom and struggling or would share my questions/concerns at play group, I got a judge vibe. 

Kind of like, "You only have one. Why aren't you getting this?" and the article writer perfectly articulated why being a mother of one is hard. 

Febbride04

Interesting.  In our situation, with DH being a SAHD, and being around to help while I was on my 17 week maternity leave, and us both being over 40, I find I didn't relate to the first half of the blog about all the difficulties, but always felt from the beginning like she says in the last part about the practical parts being easier - tiring and frustrating, but things that don't really matter.  I related more to the feelings of children being "lighter than air, nudging against you like balloons as they ascend" with time rushing by, being "the protector who can't always protect; the one with arms that are designed to hold, always having to let go."