I never type anything bad about my family because I love them so much and don't want anyone thinking negatively about them; however, neither my mom nor my sister acknowledged DD's 2nd birthday yesterday. They both live in Seattle and I think they both flat out forgot. I've been talking to my sister a lot in the past week about getting together with my aunt/uncle for DD's birthday because my aunt's birthday is tomorrow so my sister definitely had a hint that it was approaching. I don't think my mom even knows what month my kids were born. If I confronted my sister, she would probably be surprised that she was "supposed" to do anything at all for her birthday. If I confronted my mom, she would be embarrassed that she forgot.
My feelings are really hurt. My dad died a few years ago so my only family (besides aunts/uncles/cousins) is my mom and twin sister. My dad was notorious for having a horrible memory so to counteract that, he was always really good about putting stuff in his Outlook calendar. I can't help but think about how he would have sent some gifts and a card AND called. I understand not being able to recall my kids' birthdays on the spot but that's what calendars are for! (They're both terrible at technology, however, so it's not like they even know what Outlook is.) I wouldn't have wanted either one of them to buy a gift because they need to save their money but I did expect a card and a phone call. DD is obviously oblivious since she's only two but DH's entire family all sent gifts, cards, and posted on Facebook. I really would have been thrilled with just a phone call.
I know my mom loves my kids but she's spent so little time around them that she probably doesn't feel a real connection to them. She told me recently that she was embarrassed because someone came over to her house and asked if she had a single picture of her grandkids out. She didn't/doesn't. I've sent her some but I do all my updating online. She's just never showed a ton of interest so I'm just feeling hurt. DH's mom harasses us if we go too long without adding a video to YouTube, posting a pic to Facebook or updating our family blog. My mom doesn't check any of those.
Do your parents (who live far away and aren't involved in your kids' daily lives) remember their birthdays without having to be reminded by you that it's coming up? Am I being silly? I know DD doesn't know the difference but it's just the principle to me. FWIW, I'm close to my sister and mom so it's not like we're estranged or anything like that.
Re: Do your parents remember your kids' birthdays?
I don't have kids. I can tell you that I don't really remember exactly what days our niece's birthdays are. I could tell you the month and probably guess within a week or so of the day. We always send a gift though- I just try to send it far enough in advance that it will be there for the day.
In my family, birthdays are not that big a deal. My aunts and uncles didn't usually acknowledge our birthdays. My grandparents usually would send a card, maybe including some money.
My brother didn't send anything for V's birthday this year until a month later. But I think it's because he was traveling for work.
Neither of our parents have ever forgotten.
Katie Talks About...
Both families live nearby and are present in our kids' lives. Start in April of last year, I talked with MIL about DD's bday in July. I showed her the invite. She even offered to host at her house if we ended up selling ours beforehand...yet, somehow, I get a call out of the blue saying that she planned a vacation that weekend and wouldn't be coming to the party. I'll be honest, I was devestated. How could you forget when I sent out numerous emails, showed you the invite and talked about the cake I was going to make. Then SIL flaked because E had been sick that previous week and she didn't want her DD to get sick. I guess she couldn't come on her own or even send her DH. No one was there from DH's side of the family and it still hurts. I never admitted how much but it really did.
I am sorry you are dealing with this. hugs
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Tizzle 10/07 ~ Boppy 7/09 ~ Chicken 1/12
2014 Reading Goal: 85
Well, my Mom and Dad go overboard on holidays, so if you are in her family, you'll get hoopla galore.
The ILs, who live out of town but see DD often would never forget her birthday, but they generally go way low key, just a card.
For whatever reason, they aren't big birthday people. But I can't imagine them forgetting.
I don't know if my parents would remember without reminders... but they only have one other grandchild. Heck, my parents forgot my birthday growing up. I had to go to the hospital once and they didn't even remember the correct birthday for my hospital bracelet.
DH's parents have no idea when the girls' birthdays are or how old they are- and they're local. They have a lot of grandkids though.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Mama's Gonna Buy You A Mockingbird