Fact: the Air Force doesn't care about working spouses.

LuluP82

Killer Cupcake:

MrsOz7:

Wow, this topic got a lot of comments. I am just now sitting down to read some...

To answer a few...the issue at the med clinic is more in them not calling me to tell me not to bother coming in--and their quick fix is a "same-day appointment" that I won't be able to do anyway. In case anyone cares, they still haven't called me for that.

 

On the topic of socials: It would be nice if the one thing I would like to go to (the flight) were at a time I could go. The stated purpose of the flight is "so you can see what your husbands do"...and most of the non-working spouses and SAHM already know and have been on these flights before because  they are super-involved. Plus, in the email, the stated reason for having it during the day is "so you don't have to pay for childcare"...I'm sorry, but my day's lost wages are probably more than it costs for a baby-sitter.

 

As for the calls: After my H's first deployment with this squadron, they stopped mid-way home and he called me and gave me a time when he would arrive. I was able to meet him, but I did mention to him and the commander's wife that I hadn't been called. It's not the key spouses who call in our squadron, it's the DO. We had a change of command and I told the new commander's wife I had this problem in the past. This time...no call again. And no notice either because H had last talked to me the night before. H checked with the DO to see the phone number they had on file...and it was right. So that's pointing to an "operator error."

 

Glad there seems to be a few other people who see my frustrations on here. And I totally get that a lot of people don't understand because they don't work.

 

 

The only thing I'm going to touch on is the doctors office thing.

It was explained earlier in the thread that maybe they thought they would be getting the shipment in just before your appointment. When it didn't end up happening, they offered you the option of a same day appointment when they do come in. They don't mean "same day" LITERALLY. They mean, when they come in, they will call you and you will get an appointment that you want when you can come in because they effed up. Not when they call, you have to show up that very day.  

MrsOz, I've stuck up for you a lot in this post and that's why it turned into such a long ordeal. I will say, though, some of the complaints you have don't have to do with working or not, nor is it necessary to be snarky and say that ppl don't understand because they don't work.

Unless they had a get-together during work hours where they disseminate information and then didn't call you, I don't think you can blame the  operator error on the fact that you work. It could be that you would get more information if you knew more of the spouses, sure, and that can be affected by whether or not you are able to attend events. But I think in general, people can suck at keeping you informed regardless of your working status. For the record, I'm always invited to stuff, I just frequently can't go, and since I can't, I don't have a ton of friends (and so we don't get invited to socializing things that are less inclusive, like when only 2 couples get together or 3 women go to lunch or something, but that makes sense). It also means I don't get things that come up through the grape vine since I'm not able to socialize during the day. It doens't mean I get left off official communications, which sounds like what happened here. LIkely not on purpose, might I add.

For the Dr., I do agree with you that it's frustrating that they 1) didn't let you know when you called to confirm your appointment that they didn't have the Mirenas in stock (I will say though, maybe the front desk ppl just didnt know why you were coming in, I doubt it was malicious) and 2) that their only solution was a same day appointment. Obviously, as Killer pointed out, you don't have to go on the same day if you can't make it...but I do understand how frustrating it is to take a day off and go to an appointment only to have to do it all over again in a couple of weeks.

For the flight...it does suck that you can't go unless you take time off. And I do think they *should* try to vary things like that up, having some on weekends, some in the evenings, and some during the school day. They could also easily hire a babysitter or two for childcare--everything I've ever gone to on base has had childcare provided. I understand being frustrated, but it does sound like you're taking it all very personally.  

Audette

LuluP82:

Audette, your schedule sounds similar to mine. I telecommute also, and I spent most of the past 2 years since H has been in flying places. Luckily we appear to have a bit more stability at this point. But, I had to look for a nanny that was willing to stay overnight and travel if necessary (found one) and I was able to convince my boss that I could do what I do from home and on teleconferences as much as possible.  I'm lucky I have a skillset that my boss isn't willing to give up easily, but I don't make as much as I could (which is okay) and I'm spending a fortune on childcare, since I can't just take my baby to a daycare.

You are also much better at expressing what I was trying to say-- the assumption that I'm not a working spouse is what makes it isolating. I get it that most of the spouses in H's unit at least don't work. But come on, it's 2012-- is it really that weird that I have a career, too?

And yup, I also agree with the resources available. It's great they are there, and I'm glad they exist for those they do help, but they do nothing for me. Even spousal preference-- it's actually not for any job I'd be qualified for/interested in, it's mostly for clerical/entry-level type positions. Which I'd never be hired for due to my skill set and education level.

Sounds pretty similar - when I gave my boss my resignation letter after DH got orders to a base in another state, my boss came to me to ask if I was willing to try out telecommuting...  It has it's ups and downs, but for the most part, it's mutually beneficial.  And, while my boss doesn't have a clue about anything military, the environment at my office is professional enough that if I say "hey, I have this thing I need to go to, it doesn't conflict with any meetings I need to attend, and I'll make up the hours later", it's all OK.  But, it's OK because I don't take advantage of it.

 

I did come close to losing my job once, when DH was coming home from his first deployment.  Unfortunately, the return window we were given overlapped with a project I was supposed to handle on site.  I tried to explain to my boss, and give him as much notice as I could, and gave him options for how to remedy the situation, but I could tell he was pretty frustrated with me at the time.  It came down to literally saying the words "Boss, my husband is coming home from 14 months in a war zone.  I will be there to meet him when he lands."  After a tense day or two, my boss seemed to realize he was being an ass trying to make me go out of town during the very short window we had for homecoming (the trip would have been over half the window).

 

I'm trying to decide if we need to go the Nanny route, or if we can get away with daycare and a backup (or two) in town that can help out if something happens that we can't manage.  It's a lot to ask, but we have a couple close friends in town that I know _I_ would trust enough to watch my child, but I'd need to talk to DH about it, and see what he thinks.  (this whole revalation that I want to continue working after having kids hit me while on the road for work...  I'm waiting to discuss it with him in person, because I think it'll be a better conversation that way) 

But, it's still a while off.  We won't be able to TTC for a few months yet, due to other things...

TomHope2011

I am a working AF wife, at least for now, I will be quitting in May shortly before our first baby is born in June.  But it does seem that way.  Luckily I have flex time at work so I can afford to sit most of the day waiting in the clinic to finally be seen by the doctor, however, it's still an inconvenience, because I have to rearrange my work schedule. I also get frustrated that it seems as if all the spouse's events for my husband's squadron are during the day.  Used to, when his old Commander was there, they would have a good mix of day and evening events in the squadron.  Now everything is during the day.  Instead of having dinner pot-lucks, they have lunch time pot-lucks.  Oh, and yesterday, the squadron treated the spouses to a viewing of "Red Tails" but they went to the 12:15pm showing.