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Thoughs on roommate situation?
We have a friend that's living with us for about 5 months (2 months left to go). For the most part, it's been great. But we have been having an issue that got pretty serious last night.
My dogs' food bowls are in the kitchen (most of the house is carpet, the kitchen is the only place that's wood). So, they're allowed in the kitchen at any time. The roommate really doesn't like it when they're in the kitchen and constantly yells at them to get out. It's gotten to the point that when I know she's in the kitchen, I'll bring the dogs upstairs to our room so that they don't bother her.
So, she's been a little rough with the dogs (both are under 10lbs, so you have to be careful with them). And last night she got really mad and kicked my mini daschound. He is a crybaby but he did yelp. I immediatly grabbed them and ran upstairs and haven't spoken to her since.
DH wants to kick her out of the house. We do have a lease with her that states that either party has to give 30 days notice (though I've been very vocal that she doesn't actually have to give us 30 days notice since we're not actually trying to rent out the room). I'm not sure I want to actually kick her out, as I'm an avoider of confrontation and she *is* a friend and is only here for two more months.
Is this something I should sit down and talk to her about? Any time I've brought anything up, she gets super defensive (for example, she was using some hommade dishwasher detergent that was clogging up our dishwasher, so I asked her to use ours from now on). THAT started a big fight. I'm just not sure what we should/ can do.
Re: Thoughs on roommate situation?
I think I would confront her. Just say "I saw you kick [dog's name]." And just wait for her to respond. See what happens. I would then simply say "that is 100% unacceptable. Not to mention animal cruelty." See what she says then. If it is anything short of "I am very sorry and will not touch the dogs again." I think you seriously consider saying "it is clear that our dogs bother you and that this situation isn't going to work out. Our dogs are part of our family. I think you might be happier in another living situation without dogs in the mix and will let you out 30 days early from your lease to find one sooner."
Honestly, that's a make or break thing with me. Attack my pets or my kids -- you're done. I will defend those who can't defend themselves and be sure to remove them from a harmful situation. Just be calm and clear. Fake it if you have to.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Well said.
Ditto.
Though, I probably would have gone apeshit on her ass if she kicked my dog. I'm not good at confrontation unless it involves pets or kids, and then all bets are off.
I think maybe I worded it too strongly. I'm pretty sure she just startled him...and didn't hurt him. If she had, I probably would have gone off on her. But, I didn't see it.
Another vote for Pesky's approach. However, I was horrified reading that. I would have never kept my mouth shut and would have asked her to leave the room, maybe house, immediately.
And dish soap?? OMG. Isn't this your house? That is just weird.
I'm not sure why this is even a question. She kicked your dog!!! Kick her out. Even if she apologized (which sounds like she never would) she clearly does not respect you, your house, or your things. My "friends" do not kick my dogs. I'd just tell her that it's not working for you guys and you'd like her out in 30 days.
Edited: I just assumed you saw her kick the dog. I dont know then, it's kind of hard to accuse someone of something if you didn't see it or have any proof. But from other things you've posted about her, the whole situation seems kind of like a mess. You don't seem happy with the situation at all.
Ditto Pesky, except I would have had a moo cow right there on the spot - kick me if you want, but kick Potter? You're going down.
That being said, it wouldn't be acceptable for her to have such a fit about my dogs being in the kitch in the first place.
She doesn't seem like a great fit for the house.
Spirit of Power
Eat, Drink, and be Keri
Katie Talks About...
I certainly think I'd approach her with the issue again. "hey, I know [doggy] can be a bit of a dramaqueen, but I think we might have some deeper issues with the dogs in the kitchen when you are" See what she says. Do you know the reason she is so against the dogs in the kitchen?
If she's not in there much/for long, is there a bone/bullystick/kong she could give the dogs to "entertain them" while she wants to cook?
Bazinga!
Liz's Yarn
She has certainly moved right in and gotten comfortable! I'm always baffled by stories of house guests or roommates who act like they own the place. It sounds like she's at the very least an uncomfortable presence in your house. If she announced she was moving out this Friday, wouldn't you do a happy dance?!
I would give the 30 days notice. No friend would even question you. Hopefully she'll be respectful but if not, go off on her. She's completely out of line.
I have a very jumpy dog who yelps if he thinks he's about to get accidentally stepped on so I understand that you're not sure what exactly happened; however, if I were at someone else's house and I (let's pretend) accidentally tripped over their dog (who drives me crazy and is always underfoot) and the dog yelped, I would crouch down and say, "OMG, Rover!!! I'm so sorry little guy!" and give him a good belly rub then make sure the owner knew it was just an accident.
She is way, way too comfortable in your house.
This!
Plus, this is your home, so your rules apply (ie dishwasher issue). If she doesn't like your rules than she can leave. You should not have to walk on tip toes in your own home because someone else doesn't like your dogs or your rules.