February 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

t and ps

hey girls. sorry again for the lack of caps. my phone apparently does not function well with the nest.

long story short i just received a text from matt that basically says that hes not sure he wants kids anymore. im pretty much devastated and stuck in class till 7. pretty much im a mess. i dont know where this came from and i know i shouldnt talk to my mom or friends about it until i talk to hin and figure out whats upm 

i dont even know what to say right now. 

*~Formerly DFerrari17~*
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Re: t and ps

  • what??? oh my goodness, I'd be a mess too. sending T&Ps to you guys.
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  • In a TEXT?!?? What the hell?? I definitely wouldn't jump to conclusions, there was obviously something that sparked that so suddenly, and it could quite possibly be a passing thing. *hugs*
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  • Wow!  I'd be a mess too!!!  I'm so sorry that he sent you a text saying that-- if he feels that way, a face-to-face conversation is definitely a must!  Oh men... when will he learn?  I'm sure that he will come around, but let us know what his reasoning is when you do talk to him!
  • Im sorry he blindsided you via text with such a serious declaration! I hope that after you talk to him you and he will find that it was a gut reaction to something and not a permanent decision. Now, I know it's not the same situation but DH and I probably won't be able to have our own children. :( I know how devastating news like that can be. I'm so sorry. 
  • imagethebennerhalf:
    In a TEXT?!?? What the hell?? I definitely wouldn't jump to conclusions, there was obviously something that sparked that so suddenly, and it could quite possibly be a passing thing. *hugs*

    This. Have you been talking about the pregnancies in Juneville at lot? Maybe he's just having a panic moment. Hopefully that's all it is. You definitely need to have a good, long talk about it though. This is a big issue for couples, and you need to find a solution that you both can live with. I just can't get over how he sent you this in a text, as though it was just a random update on how his day is going! Tons of hugs and T&Ps to you, Dana.

  • weve talked about kids in the past but noy any time recently. ive been avoiding it because i didnt want him to have anything else he could stress about. ive barely even been mentioning my neices.

    as much as it hurts me to think this it almost feels like hes trying to give me a reason to leave him. i thought things were going really well... 

    *~Formerly DFerrari17~*
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    I don't want the whole world.
    The sun and moon and all their light.
    I just want to be the only girl, you love all your life.

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  • imageMissD611:

    weve talked about kids in the past but noy any time recently. ive been avoiding it because i didnt want him to have anything else he could stress about. ive barely even been mentioning my neices.

    as much as it hurts me to think this it almost feels like hes trying to give me a reason to leave him. i thought things were going really well... 

    Oh honey... I know it might seem like that, but I wouldnt think itd be a deliberate choice. Subconsciously is a different story and I'm no psychologist, but you should bring that up with him. He needs to know hes making you feel like that.
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  • I don't know that there's anything more that I can say that the other ladies haven't.  I can't believe that he sent that message in a text instead of in a face-to-face conversation.  Based on what you've told us, it seems so out of the blue, that it makes me wonder if something sparked that sentiment in the moment, but not necessarily in the future. I really hope that once you both get a chance to talk about it, you'll be able to work out each others feelings regarding someday having children.

    Thinking of you and sending you lots of virtual *hugs*!

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  • T & P to you. I hope you get a chance to talk and understand where each other is coming from. Then you can make an informed decision on what you two want to do. Children are a hard and big decision. Even me and my H (who both want kids more than anything in the world) have had a hard communicating about it. Sending you a big hug and lots of T&P to help you out
  • Sending t's & p's to you both!! I'm so sorry that you had to hear this message in a text message.  Hopefully you both can work something out.
  • imageMissD611:

    hey girls. sorry again for the lack of caps. my phone apparently does not function well with the nest.

    long story short i just received a text from matt that basically says that hes not sure he wants kids anymore. im pretty much devastated and stuck in class till 7. pretty much im a mess. i dont know where this came from and i know i shouldnt talk to my mom or friends about it until i talk to hin and figure out whats upm 

    i dont even know what to say right now. 

    I can totally understand why you'd be a mess--I would be too!  That's some pretty important stuff, and I can't fathom why he'd put that in a text message rather than tell you in person.  It's unfair of him to spring news like that on you out of the blue, unless it had to do with an earlier conversation.  Like the other girls said, I hope this was a knee-jerk reaction to something rather than a true statement of what he wants.  I'm sending TONS of T&P your way!!  Hopefully you two can talk about it when you get home tonight work things out.  I seriously hope he's not trying to give you a reason to leave him (as you suggested) because that would be a horrendous thing to do to someone. 

  • I can't say anything the other ladies haven't already said.  I'm so sorry you had to deal with that this evening.  I would be a complete mess too.  I hope you get a chance to have a good conversation about it tonight.  Lots of hugs!
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  • I can't believe he said that in a text! I would be a complete mess too. Hopefully you 2 get to talk tonight about what brought this on. Let us know. Hugs!
  • Wow, that is not cool at all that he would a) blindside you like that and b) tell you in a text!

    Honestly? You probably don't want to have kids anyway until his issues with alcohol are under control. So I would just calmly ask him where that new stance came from. Have a conversation about it, and then agree to reevaulate later.

    I'm so sorry he sprung that on you! 

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  • imagethebennerhalf:
    In a TEXT?!?? What the hell?? I definitely wouldn't jump to conclusions, there was obviously something that sparked that so suddenly, and it could quite possibly be a passing thing. *hugs*

    Pretend I said the above too. I don't even know what to say right now. Hopefully the two of you can sit down and have a calm conversation and try to figure all of this out. I'm sorry he blindsided you with a text like that!! :( Thinking and praying for you!

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  • WTF?! This is SO not the kind of thing you tell someone in a text message! I say ditto what everyone else said, just ask him calmly what brought on this new changed decision, and try to have a rational discussion with him about it. T&P's your way.
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  • Definitely sending my thoughts and prayers to you D.  I hope that there is something else going on with him that when you sit down and have a talk it is sorted out.  
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  • T&P for you!  I'm just going to echo what most people have said.  This is hopefully a knee-jerk reaction to something that happens.  I know DH has them all the time, especially about kids.  I think you just need to talk to him in a calm and rational way.  Lay it all out and get to the heart of the matter.

    *Hugs

  • Oh my goodness, what a horrible way to bring something like this up... or really, to do to anyone in any way period!  I hope y'all were able to talk last night. 
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  • I'm sorry you're going through this. That is just horrible! I can't believe it was a text, of all things. Sending T&P your way!
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