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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Am I a jerk? A sort of WWYD.....
Mia had this bff from preschool that we used to hang out with a lot. It's not that I didn't like the mom, but she's extremely "spiritual" and pretty much every conversation revolved around our chakras and vision boards and well, you get the idea. I just have nothing to say to her and I get extremely stressed as I feel like she's always looking at me to "convert". So, we haven't seen them in quite some time and Mia decided she wanted to send the kid a card. Then I get a call from the mom about setting up a playdate. We made plans to go there for dinner tonight (this was a week ago). Turns out Dave is away and won't be back until later this evening so he can't come. I do NOT want to go. I'm having such anxiety and it's not even 10 am. Mia, however, has been really looking forward to it. Would you suck it up and go for your kid or would you try to reschedule to a time when your dh could come too? If it makes my case any stronger, they used to pull last minute cancellations on us ALL the time. Does it? Does it make my case stronger? lol. Please say it does.....
Re: Am I a jerk? A sort of WWYD.....
Ugh, that is tough. I would totally feel the same way and pop a xanax or a happy pill and suck it up and go. I get all wound up and defensive in situations like that. I am not spiritual or religious at all, so I get all uncomfortable when I feel like I am being pressured or "influenced."
Max has had friends in the past where I did NOT have a thing in common with the mom....but I went and just prayed that we did not get frequent invites lol.
Myself, I couldn't cancel. I would feel too bad. You could always say you worship the devil or something. lol
I have a neighbor like this. They are holy-rollers to the max. They don't even let their kid dress up for Halloween. I hate hanging out with them by the girls love playing over there even though MH and I hate taking off our shoes at their house. lol
I would still go. Get it out of the way, lol.
Maybe bring a big box of craft stuff you can all do w/ the kids so that you're not alone while she tries to convert you?
good luck :-)
Mangia! My Family Table
I think you need to take one for the team since Mia really likes her. For the most part I like my kids friends moms but a few are the hyper competitive super annoying ones. Luckily we are pretty much at drop off playdate stage unless its a mom I am friendly with then we do dinners etc. Next time you schedule the playdate and say "oh the girls are so big, why don't you dropper off and they can have lunch and a little tea party it will be so cute!"
BUt I would go... sorry :-) she sounds like someone I would avoid too.
If you're feeling that stressed about going, I'd cancel and reschedule a play date that's less intimate. Maybe an hour at the book store or something. I'm kinda new agey, but it sounds like I would poke my eyes out if I had to spend a whole dinner with her, too.
My only thing would be breaking the news to my son. I think a bribe like ice cream would smooth things out. = )
I'd suck it up for Mia.
There are times when I have to disappoint my kid but I try my hardest not to have to.
I would go, but just do your best to change the subject. Like, totally ignore her spirituality comments and talk about absolutely anything else.
If she won't knock it off, maybe say something like, "Can we please talk about something else? I'd rather not discuss things like spirituality and politics with people."
Perfect excuse. This way you can keep the time to a minimum. GL!
1. kid would be happy. 2. i don't have to make dinner.
i'd suck it up and go and smile and let go of your issues. it's for a short time and you can control how late you stay! hope there's wine in it for you!
Right. Because that makes for pleasant dinner conversation when you're a guest in someone's home. If this was a good friend, I would say something. In this case, I choose the path of least resistance which is get in, eat a slice of pizza and get the hell out.
We may have to agree to disagree on this one, but I don't think honesty at all costs is always the best policy. Being honest to the point of being hurtful isn't the grown up thing to do, IMO. I would feel differently if this were a close friend or if the person had an issue that was harming herself or her child. Having integrity shouldn't be at the expense of being kind. Sometimes this is a gray line to walk and finding the balance is hard.
And while canceling might not be the best way to go in this situation, I don't see why just limiting the amount of time there is such a big deal. No harm, no foul. But frankly, if the thought of going somewhere was making me feel awful, I'd back out. In future, I'd know to handle it differently.