Attn Moms: Give me your best newborn advice

erin48

The girls are finally coming home this week (Quinn on Monday, Audrey not sure yet).  I'm so nervous! What is your top advice you can give me (and other new moms) for those first few days, weeks, months, etc.?

Sunflower22

Nobody ever takes it, but truly - sleep when they sleep. 

Congrats on them coming home! 

lite-bright

Get an exercise ball to bounce on.  

And all phases pass!

RyanandManda

Be flexible and go with your gut!  Oh, and keep in mind that EVERYTHING is a phase and it's over before you know it (growth spurts, teething, fussiness, waking up all night, etc).

swinsto3

Even on your very worst days, don't forget that you are still the very best mommy for them, and that you will get through it. And that it gets better.

Sleep when they sleep, let people help you when they offer, and trust your gut.

micaela421

Take care of yourself first, it's hard to do it. But your Girls needs you to be strong and healthy so you can give them the best care they need.

coloradogirl06

Drink water and/or eat something during or after feeding them, even if it's just a hand full of almonds. If you need a break, put them in a safe place and walk away for a few minutes. It's ok to cry, even while holding them. Take lots of pictures.

Pesky

Cut yourself some slack -- you are a great mom and parenting is trial and error.  But let's face it - you aren't scarring them for life here.  At some point both will be crying and you can't soothe them both at once.  Realize what you can do, realize what you CAN'T do, take a deep breath and just get 'er done.

And ditto on the exercise ball.  My kids were "eh" on being rocked but dude, holding them close and bouncing a bit on an exercise ball and those kids were OUT. 

smilelari

-Patience.  Some days you barely leave the couch and that can be frustrating, but try to be patient and enjoy this stage.  I swear in an instant it's gone and you'll miss it.

-Do whatever you need to do to get enough sleep (safely).

-Don't be afraid to take them out of the house.  They will probably cry, but that's all part of it and getting out will keep you sane.

-Do what works for your family.  Own your decisions.  Let go of guilt.  Be proud of who you are as a mom.

Carrot303

As long as you love them, you're doing everything right.  You'll look back and laugh about how hard you made it on yourself in the beginning.  Food, diapers, love, sleep ... that's it.  

Also, if you have someone offer to watch them sleep while you take a bath, take them up on it.  Ha!  It sounds so silly because if they're sleeping you would think you could relax in a bath or take a nap but new moms find it impossible to relax.  Take people up on their offers for help - they want you to. 

RoxBride

It is okay to watch junky TV while feeding babies. Really, it is. Not every moment of feeding needs to be like some magical scene from a story book. Take advantage of a nighttime feeding to watch Jersey Shore or Judge Judy or a Lifetime movie or whatever you want, and don't geel guilty about it.

Every phase passes.

Do not believe everything you read on the Nest or the Bump - take it all with a grain of salt. Things get trendy on here and balloon to the point where they have nothing to do with real life.

And above all, trust your gut.

If you think you might have PPD, or someone close to you mentions it to you, do not think twice, just call your doctor. If it is a false alarm, who cares.

olivia_eve

Don't worry about creating bad habits. There is nothing that can't be undone. Do what you need to do to get sleep- rocking, swings, car rides, whatever.

ruby soho

Everything else can wait. Dishes, laundry, cooking, checking your email, etc. try to let go of everything else and just enjoy your babies

Noah&ZachsMom

Congratulations!!!

Try to keep the girls on their NICU feeding/sleep schedule.  It will make the transition to home *so* much easier!

Take lots and lots of photos;  you only bring them home from the hospital once.

Definitely sleep when they sleep (yes, this means during naptime!).

Have you thought about getting help for overnights?  Sometimes NICU nurses moonlight for extra cash.  Or, you could also contact a night nanny agency (I have a friend who owns one of the local ones in Denver Metro).

Don't be afraid to ask for help!  And, if people offer, definitely take them up on it - even if it's folding baby laundry or grocery shopping.

Ditto Rox about PPD.  (I think sleep deprivation is a huge contributor to PPD - especially with multiples).

Make sure you keep in touch with the Nesties!

silly.goose

Not a mom, so I have no real "mom" advice - just wanted to stop by and say congratulations on the girls coming home, and try to enjoy every second - time just whizzes by, and I can only imagine it's worse when you're crazed with two little ones. 

skidunks

Do whatever you need to (safely) to get the babies (and yourself) some sleep. Even if you said you would never do it, if it works go for it. (Like letting the baby sleep with you/on you)

Get help early if you are breastfeeding and having issues. Don't wait, they could be easily solved if you address them early on.

 

 

schoolsoutbride

I assume they'll come home on a NICU schedule.  I'd stick with it if you can.  (My caveat to that is that if you're BFing to try to feed them on demand and throw the schedule out the window a bit to keep a supply.)

When they wake at night, keep the room dark, don't talk to them, don't even make eye contact. It will stimulate them and make them harder to put down.

Trust your gut enough to ignore advice that doesn't feel right. You know your babies best.

So excited for you!

todds_wife

The "sleep when they sleep" thing - the sooner you give in and just do it every time, the more human you will feel. Accept help from anyone who offers it, even if you just have someone unload the dishwasher or empty the trash. No matter how many pictures you are taking, more would be better. It's ok to not be happy all the time. Its even better to talk to someone about it. I got pretty low trying to hide my bouts of depression about living the same 3 hours over and over, thinking I was awful for not being thrilled every second of every day. It didn't get better until I talked to other moms about it. And the three month mark really is like some magic switch when things get MUCH better. (And then you blink and they will be 10 months old and your tiny bestest buddies.)

coloradogirl26

The best advice I received from a good friend is to get out of the house - target, walk, Starbucks, wherever - a little bit every single day. If you are the only one home, it can feel tough sometimes and the fresh air does wonders. Congratulations.

erin48

Thanks for all the wonderful advice ladies.  We did a room in last night at the hospital with Q.  It went pretty well.  I am still just wondering when the heck I will sleep between pumping, and feeding both girls.  I will BF but they aren't quite mature enough to latch yet so we are working on that.  I know I will get it, just scary in the beginning!  But I am so excited to finally get my babies home!