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Third date-no kiss. What gives?
SO, S/O ladies...need your advice.
I met K through eHarmony early December. We chatted for a few weeks via email/phone and due to both our schedules and me going on vacation for 2 weeks at Christmas time, we finally went on our first date right after New Years. We had alot of fun, great conversation, dinner lasted about 4 hours, etc. He walked me back to my car and there was a hug, no kiss. I've gotten used to the kiss on the first date, so I was sort of hoping, but was OK with the no-kiss on the first date. Since then, we've still texted almost daily (he initiates 95% of the time) After the second date-same thing. I reached in and gave him a little peck on the cheek, but I do that to some of my guy friends anyways. Still nothing.
Last night, we had our third date. We grabbed a bite to eat and then went to a bar for a few beers. I had so much fun with him and towards the later part of the night I just kept thinking "Gosh-he's just so cute!". We had driven seperately to meet for the date (it's just easier given our locations) but drove from dinner to the bar together, so he drove me back to my car. We get to my car, say the goodbyes, reach in for a hug...and still NOTHING!
So, what gives? Is he just not that into me? Or maybe just wants a friend to hang out with? We clearly have fun together, we hear from each other almost daily, etc. I like this guy. He's cute, we have alot in common, he meets all of my "must haves". He's not the "ladies man" kind of guy at all, so I just can't figure it out. NO kiss by date #3...but we've been talking for almost 2 months now. If he wasn't interested, wouldn't it be easier to just drop it? What do you ladies think?
And I guess maybe he still could just drop contact after last night...I may be getting ahead of myself there. I can't seem to make it past the third date barrier anyways, so I guess no surprise there.
Re: Third date-no kiss. What gives?
My Lunch Blog
I would ask him about it. If you go out for a 4th time and he doesn't try even a kiss by the end, I would point blank ask him "look, I like you, and I think you like me, but you haven't tried to kiss me in 4 dates. What gives? Are you just looking for a friendship?" Let him explain.
If he only "wants to be friends," then you have your answer and you need to look to other people for a romantic relationship (and decide if you want to see him or not).
A "great guy" who is not even CLOSE to on the same page sexually as you are isn't a great guy (at least not for you).
On the other hand, if you "never seem to get past date 3" - - maybe "date 3" is the great deciding point for people about whether or not they want to see the other person again, and he didn't want to let his body make a decision that should be made with his head/heart? So if you get to date4 that might mean that he sees you as gf material and will make his move.
I think you should go in for the kiss yourself. I doubt he will stop you, and I am sure he will reciprocate once it has started. he is probably nervous. If he wasn't into you he wouldn't ask you out again and again, IMO. Sometimes you have to be the agressor. It is kind of cute that he is shy about it.
This was my thought.
I dated a guy, that after 2 dates didn't kiss me, and after the date, when we texted that we were each home safely, I jokingly said to him, "maybe next time I'll get a kiss". Next time....I got a kiss
He was just being hesitant because he didn't want to mess anything up.
I could have written your post a couple of years ago. My H didn't kiss me until our 4th date. I liked him so much that I kept going out with him and waiting. (I won't make the first move). But I did give him tons of hints, arm touching, leaning in close, I even played with his shirt collar at one point. Anyway, he finally kissed me, and sparks flew. (We were engaged about 5 months after the first kiss).
But... his reason for not kissing me was that he liked me so much. (Not to mention he was never a ladies man). I made him nervous, and he didn't want to screw things up. Now I pick on him about it sometimes, but to me, it is endearing (at the time I was wondering what was up).
Have fun :-)
How physical has the rest of your interaction been? Do you touch him on the arm when you laugh at his jokes? Does he put his hand on your back when going across the street? Is there any touching at all?
Because all that's kind of the precursor to the first kiss. If you haven't really touched each other much, he may just feel awkward going in for the kiss.
We were playing a card game that was at the bar last night, and there were a few times where we both reached out and touched each other...like, he patted my arm when I lost one round, I playfully rubbed his back when I won another, etc. So, there hadn't been phsycial interaction until last night and there were a few times when it struck my "there's going to be a first kiss" meter, as I generally do that when I like someone.
Does he seem actually interested in you? You don't say you're all that attracted to him, just that he's cute and you have fun together. It really has been just three dates; maybe he goes slow. Which, frankly, is kind of nice.
I am attracted to him...each time we get together, even more so. There was a point on Saturday night when he leaned over in a certain way annnnddd I kinda wanted to jump on him. But that probably would have been inappropriate.
I'm OK with moving slowly, honestly it's a very nice change. But my difficult lies within the fact that I don't know if he's into me or has just moved me into "friend" territory. Or if he's just being nice and texting/wanting to get together. While I think he's seems interested in me, I'm having a hard time reading him. A kiss makes it a little easier, IMO to at least see if there's chemistry with the both of us. But then again, maybe not. The last couple guys I've gone out with have moved fast physically and they clearly went no where.